(Closed) how long to wait before a vow renewal?

posted 7 years ago in Parties
  • poll: how long is ideal?
    as soon as you're ready : (5 votes)
    9 %
    5 year anniversary : (6 votes)
    11 %
    7 year itch : (0 votes)
    10 years : (21 votes)
    39 %
    15 years : (0 votes)
    20 years : (12 votes)
    22 %
    never : (9 votes)
    17 %
    other : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 2
    140 posts
    Blushing bee


    View original reply
    Mrslovebug:  It sucks that your wedding wasn’t exactly how you wanted it to be.  But I think rather than focusing on planning a vow renewal, I would try to focus on moving on.  Wait a few years before even thinking about planning another ceremony. Use that time to just focus on your marriage and stop being preoccupied with the wedding. 

    Post # 3
    623 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I’ll be honest, I would roll my eyes if I was invited to a “vow renewal” very soon after a couple got married, and would probably decline the invitation if I went to the actual wedding.

    I really don’t understand a vow renewal anyway; since it’s a “vow”, you should not have to renew it.  I would just throw an anniversary party but not until a big number like 20 or 25.

    Post # 4
    6386 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I would think 10 would be the soonest.  You could always have an anniversary party though.

    Post # 5
    168 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    In my opinion I think it would be best to do a vow renewal in the form of an elopement because honestly, no one cares about your “wedding dreams” or marriage for that matter, as much as you and your spouse. So, make it an intimate moment with the two of you. Go get that tea length dress, save up for a fab photog and get those dreamy wedding pics you want, splurge a bit on a beautiful bouquet, got to the salon and get your hair and makeup done! Seeing as you won’t have to budget for guests all the money can be spent on the two of you creating the moment you had imagined! 

    Post # 6
    104 posts
    Blushing bee

    I just went to a vow renewal two days ago, and it was for 50 years..

    I would save your money for babies.

    Post # 7
    1955 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I agree with 

    View original reply
    NikkiKillpretty:  Save up and at some point down the road, just the two of you get all dressed up and hire a photographer to take some photos. 

    Post # 8
    1883 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Yep, NikkiKillpretty is right… I will say that YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE! If you want to have one in 2 or 3 years, you can. Will everyone from the original wedding show up, probably not… Is it about them, no! You are the two people who feel like you missed out on a lot of special moments. So, you two could easily have a vow renewal elopement!!! You could go practically anywhere in the world (especially with the bigger budget) and do it ALL over again, just the two of you. You can make new memories, have the best photog that your money can buy and do it BIG! No other people to cause problems, make snide comments, etc. 

    I think that I might do this with my Fiance, when we have our second honeymoon. That will hopefully happen in 5-7 years. It would be just he and I, and God willing we will be in a better place financially so that no expense will be spared!!! We might do this in Japan or some other dreamy place that we could afford then. Congrats on moving up in the world by the way!!! The possibilities will be endless…

    Post # 9
    4682 posts
    Honey bee

    View original reply
    Mrslovebug:  I agree with PP about having an intimate “elopement”. Since you had an actual wedding the first time around, most people would find it strange if you did it again in just a few years. I wouldn’t do it any sooner than 10 years if you go that route.

    Get that dream dress and go somewhere awesome!

    Post # 10
    296 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    To me a vow renewal is something you and your husbands to do reaffirm your love commitments ect.  I love the idea of this on a beach just you and the officiant (some couples resorts actually offer this type of thing).  Public vows have already been made and I can’t see getting a ‘do over’ (essentially) bc you didn’t like the first one.  However if you are paying do it whenever you want/can afford in the way you want it.  Like pp suggested anyone turned off by the idea is likely to decline anyways!!

    Post # 11
    566 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I am renewing my vows this year it’s been 5 years ๐Ÿ™‚ and we are doing it at our church then taking off to the honeymoon we never had …I say if you want to renew your vows go for it save up for what you want an go for it if people dont come because there offended then you dont want them there !!! If this is important to you n your hubby then you need to do it !!! 

    Post # 12
    6263 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I voted never. Although I see some beautiful vow renewals nobody I know personally has had one. all the older adults in my family have been married 30-40 years and have never done one so that’s why I wouldn’t consider it for myself. 

    Post # 13
    970 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    View original reply
    Mrslovebug:  If it were me i’d wait quite a while – given you’re still only fairly recently married, I wouldn’t make a decision just yet. Give it 5 years and see how you feel then – it may not bother you anymore, or you may have a clearer idea on what you’d like to do if you did do one (and more time to save up and do the things you missed out on!)

    I don’t think i’d ever have a vow renewal in the form of a wedding re-do but i’d totally be up for one in a tacky vegas chapel just for fun! ๐Ÿ˜‰ – in saying that though I’m lucky enough to be getting my dream wedding, I would probably feel similarly to you if I was in your situation!

    I think a lot of the stigma attached to vow renewals is the second gift thing – you’d probably get a lot more support in doing one if you specify no gifts and just throw a big party to celebrate ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 14
    96 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: Tarp Chapel

    An old coworker of mine went through the same type of things with her wedding… so what they did was have what they called an “open house” reception on their first anniversary. They had set up cake, punch, champaign and invited everybody to come out to have a good time. It was a success for them, and they said it more than made up for their wedding disasters. They also plan on doing a vow renewal for their 5th anniversary to get a second shot at a ceremony. ๐Ÿ™‚ I hope this helps!

    Post # 15
    1391 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I think of a vow renewal as just a small ceremony between you and your hubby (at least that’s how I’d do it). I agree with the PP who said to do it like an elopement…go to a destination you want, get that dress you want, and the photog you want and just have an awesome intimate ceremony between you two. I personally probably wouldn’t attend a vow renewal unless it was my own, or someone’s for a significant number of years (25 or 50 yr anniversary).

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