How long was your engagement?

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
  • poll:
    Do it Dec '18-Feb '19- you'll only draw out your anxiety if you wait : (42 votes)
    78 %
    Do it Dec '19- Feb '20- you'll be incredibly anxious trying to do it in less than a year. : (12 votes)
    22 %
    Do it another time (details in comments) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 2
    Member
    9800 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    Mine was 13 months and it felt like way longer than we needed. I could have easily planned it in half the time.

    Post # 3
    Member
    367 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2019

    Mine is going to be ~15-17 months (from Christmas Eve 2017 to Spring 2019), but that’s really only because of my school schedule. I have a very specific window in which I have the time to get married, so we are doing it then. I didn’t expect to get engaged until this summer, which would have put the engagement at less than a year, and that would have been fine.

    The biggest limiting factor I think is how far in advance venues in your area book up. If they are available this winter, go for it then! No need to wait longer. If they aren’t available this year but you really want a winter wedding, then wait for next year.

    Post # 4
    Member
    253 posts
    Helper bee

    Ours was about ten months, but I live in a more rural area where engagements are typicaly about 6 months. So I didn’t have any issues with finding vendors, which seems to be the major problem with short engagements. It was way more than enough time. I was basically done planning in about three months. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1225 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    Mine was 14 months and was exactly the amount of time we needed. However, it all depends on other factors- we live in a major city and some of the vendors (photographer, videographer) were all booked up when I started contacting them 10 months out. NYE might be a difficult night since it’s possible that many venues may already be booked. However, if you’re flexible in terms of venue and vendors I don’t see why you can’t pull off a wedding in 10 months! I would start with getting your dress first since those can take up to 6-9 months to come in, depending on designer! Another thing too- if you’re planning on doing a lot of DIY for decor, etc. that might be worth putting it off. 

    One thing to remember is that a lot of wedding planning is hurry up and wait. We booked a lot of vendors in Jan for our Oct wedding and for many of them, after we signed the contract we didn’t need to get back to them with specific details until closer to the wedding, 6-8 weeks. Sure there were times when things were crunched, I definitely started panicking when I heard about vendors already being booked and wanted to get everything knocked out of the way. But it’s not likely that you’ll be stressed out for the entire length of wedding planning. 

     

    TL;DR, you don’t need a long engagement because you’ll be actively planning the whole time, but you might need it if you have very specific vendor/venue ideas in mind, since they can book up pretty far in advance. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    75 posts
    Worker bee

    beekay :  We were engaged for almost 2 years (22 months). We spend the first year doing NOTHING but enjoying the moments of being engaged since once you’re married, you’re married lol we spent the second year of our engagement planning. I loved the length for many reasons (save more money, spend more time together stress-free, bettering our relationship), but at the same time, I felt like the “hype”/excitement went away after year one lol i got the feeling of FINALLY from our friends/family when we annouced our wedding date

    Post # 6
    Member
    187 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2019

    Going to be engaged from May 2017 – November 2019. So more than 2 years. I don’t think there’s a set time for engagements. I know people who got engaged after 2 months of dating and married a month after. Depends on where you want to get married and if it’s already booked!

    Post # 7
    Member
    1225 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    Agree with prior bees that the key to a long engagement is about getting the venue and vendors you want if you live in an area where they tend to book up early. A lot of wedding planning (in my experience) was hurry up and wait- there were some crunch times in the beginning especially when picking and finalizing vendors, but then once the contracts were signed we weren’t in contact with them again until closer to 6-8 weeks out to finalize timeline and last minute issues. Unless you’re planning on doing a lot of heavily time-intensive DIY you’re not going to be actively planning every day of your engagement. 

    I had a 14 month engagement and had most of my vendors nailed down by 10 months. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    134 posts
    Blushing bee

    My engagement is about five months and a week. I feel like I’ve had plenty of time to get everything together and organized and I’m going to school full time. I’ve heard of people planning a full wedding in less than a month, and I’ve heard of people saying there’s no way they’d have gotten it done in less than a year. I think it really depends on your stress tolerance and where you’re from (because good vendors can book years in advance).

    Post # 9
    Member
    1225 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    Also, I’d recommend starting to reach out to vendors and venues that you might be interested in in order to test the waters. If choices are limited and it’s starting to look like you’ll have to make some major compromises on your vision, then I’d consider pushing the date back. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    31 posts
    Newbee

    jazandlo :  The same thing happened to me. Didn’t actually do any planning until 4 months prior to the ceremony. I enjoyed taking my time, but everyone else was a bit more impatient! 😂

    Beekay : So obviously it’s possible to do it in less than a year, but I also didn’t hire a photographer, DJ, or officiant. We had friends do all of that for us. And my venue was on the military base, and doesn’t book up fast, so that also made it easy. I’d start there, see who is available on the date you want. The rest is pretty easy.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3875 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    Mine was 14 months and we totally didn’t need all that time. You could absolutely pull off a 18/19 winter wedding. 

    With the planning there’s basically a flurry of booking big things at the start, then not much at all to do until about 3 or 4 months out. So you’d just have a bit less downtime in between, which is not a bad thing. I actually think 6 months would be quite a nice engagement length if it weren’t for the risk of things booking out. 

    As PPs have said, the only limiting factor is whether the big things like venues and photographers are booked up already. Luckily this is an easy thing to check with a phone call. Winter is not the busiest time for weddings so I don’t think you’ll actually have too much of a problem with this unless you have your heart set on one specific vendor who happens to be booked out. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    576 posts
    Busy bee

    Totally do a NYE wedding!!! The one we attended as guests was one of my favourite weddings to date! The key was they did it at a hotel so no cabs!!!

    Post # 13
    Member
    285 posts
    Helper bee

    We were engaged for about a year, longer than necessary due to some health issues I had at the time. I planned my wedding in about 4-5 months. The venue and dress are the only big things that need to be done well in advance. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    2826 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    Our engagement was 18 months, and we got our first pick of venues and vendors for our more rural area where the wedding was. However, I know that in bigger cities, a lot of more popular venues and vendors are already booked 18 months – 2 years in advance. So I think your answer will probably depend on where you live and what kind of wedding you want! It really isn’t about how long planning takes (I could have planned it in about month) but about availability of key vendors, and how much you have a certain vision in mind. 

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