(Closed) How long were you long distance?

posted 8 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 17
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

We’ve been long distance since last August, and don’t really have an end in sight at the moment. We lived together and went to school together before he moved; I’ve stayed to finish my PhD and he moved to a different country to start his (15 hour drive away).

I don’t find the long distance that bad to be honest. We’re both busy with school, and we’ve always been students together so we know the pressures and workload. We have a child though, and she’s with me full time, so that is no picnic. We’ll be long distance a minimum of another 14 months, but probably longer than that.

Post # 18
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We started dating in highschool so the first 8 months we were in the same city

we were in college for 4.5 years and were 10+ hours apart and would only see each other for breaks from school (thanksgiving, christmas, spring break, and for summer which we both had internships and live at our parents house). It was really difficult at fist but like the second year wasn’t as bad and it got easier from there.

I got a job and for 3 months was 8 hours away for training and for the last year we have been about a hour apart so now we see each other almost every weekend.

I’m really looking forward to when he moves in and we can finally be together.

It gets easier with time. Just keep yourself busy and time will go by faster.

Post # 20
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

My Fiance and I have been long distance since the beginning of our relationship, which started back in September two thousand eight. I lived with him for a little over  a year in while i was going to school in Ireland – which was between September 2010 and November 2011. Now we’re engaged, and back to being long distance again until his visa arrives – which will most likely be in about four to five months. 

Things are a lot harder now, because we are not able to see each other as often as we used to. Despite living 4,000 miles away from one another – it used to be that we’d see each other at least once every three moths for at least a month at a time. (He had a job that allowed him to work from anywhere, and I was in school so I had a lot of time during Christmas and summer breaks.) Now he’s got a new job that requires him to stay put – and I’m working as well so it’s very hard to find time to see each other. 

We talk on skype when we can, and that helps to an extent … but our whole situation still really sucks. I can’t wait until he has his visa and we never have to deal with this again! 

Post # 21
2609 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

We were long distance dating/engagement/and first 10 months of marriage.  The greatest distance was him being in Iraq for 16 months, which was obviously hard.  When he was stateside again, it was still quite a ways away; him in Louisiana and me on the other side of the country.  I think total out of 2 1/2 years apart we spent apart, about a total of 8 weeks we were together.  Needless to say, I was glad when the LDR was over and we were together under the same roof!!!

Post # 22
925 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

First 2 years long distance, about 1500 miles (definitely a plane ride away). Saw each other about every 3 months, if that. It sucked but we got through it.

Got engaged about 2 1/2 years after I got home. We had both been in school when it was long distance.

Post # 23
2580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

DH and I were long distance for 2 years, one when he was in grad school (3 hours away) and one when he was in his fellowship year for work (4 hours away). It definitely isn’t fun, but I do think it can make your relationship stronger!

For us, it was really important that we knew there was an end an sight for the LDR–I would finish my contract, he would finish his fellowship, and we would both make some sacrifices to end up in the same place. It’s not usually possible to find jobs at the exact same place and time, but we did what we could.

If I were in your position, I would probably try to keep my options open job-wise. It can never hurt to look, as long as you do it quietly. Someone once told me that if you wait until conditions are perfect or for things to work out, you’ll never make a change…at a certain point you might just have to take a risk! Don’t worry what others think, you need to do what is best for you and your Fiance. πŸ™‚

Post # 24
1278 posts
Bumble bee

We’ve been long distance for over 1.5 years (dating over 2 years).  We are only a bit over 2 hours apart now, so we see each other a couple weekends a month, if we are lucky.  I also live by his family, which makes it a bit easier too.  (There was 3 months when he had an internship that took him a plan ride away, that was horrible)

However, this summer he will be moving even further away, and we will be SIX hours apart by car.  We are hoping to see each other once every month or two.  This will last for at least a year, because I still have a year left of graduate school here.  We are not engaged yet, but we’ve talked about getting married next summer after I’m done with school.  I’ve been clear that I won’t move for a boyfriend and we need to be offically committed before quitting my job and moving away from everything and everyone I know.   So, if he proposes soon, we can end the distance next year.


Do we enjoy being long distance?  Not at all.  But because of school and work, we just have to do it right now.  It is very hard at times, but it is making us stronger.  It is worth it  though!

Post # 25
765 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We’ve been LDR for 20 months. Will be closing the distance in August after our 2 year anniversary. We’re currently 8 hours apart and have been since the first day we started talking. 

Phone calls, texts, gifts, and visits is how we get through. 

There’s been lots of tears, some fights, and tons of frustration but knowing we’re meant for each other and having a deadline until the distance is closed has helped. 

Post # 26
13562 posts
Honey Beekeeper

We were long distance for a little over 4 years. It was tough, but totally worth it. In the end, I think it made us much, much stronger as a couple, and it taught us to value the time we have together.

Post # 27
13095 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

We were long distance for 10 months right after I graduated college.  I was in California while he was in Georgia and we only got to see each other every 5-6 weeks (although we went 13 weeks without seeing each other right at the start which really sucked!).

Did I like being long distance?  No.  Do I think it showed us that we truely were a strong couple and helped us to appreciate more the time we did (and do now) have together?  Yes.

What really helped us was to talk on the phone pretty much every day.  Sometimes it was a really short 3-5 minute conversation and other times it was longer.  But just being able to talk and hear his voice consistently helped a lot.

Post # 28
206 posts
Helper bee

3 years, 9, and then 12, hours by car apart for schooling. IMs, text, phone calls, saturday “date night” and visits at holidays made it work. Living together now, getting engaged soon ™. Hang in there!

Post # 29
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

LDR: 9 months the first time, lived together for one year, then another 13 months  because of school/graduation and work= 22 months total πŸ™

He was my boyfriend the whole time we were LDR and got engaged two weeks after our second (and last!) time apart (this was seven months ago!) πŸ™‚

Things that helped me:


1- Separation end date– had this the first time, but not the second time around– very difficult not knowing!  I had a countdown on my calendar when I knew the first time and countdown for the days I would see him (once/ month b/c plane tix are expensive!) πŸ™‚

2- Communication– talk as often as you like and keep each other updated on daily stuff so it feels like you’re not missing out on each other’s life

3- Enjoy your life away from each other– go out with girl friends…have a good time even if it’s just to have pizza and have a slumber party πŸ™‚  Being a strong individual does wonders for a strong relationship together.

I feel your pain so much, I remember like it was yesterday.  These 3 things above really helped me keep it together when my heart ached so badly to be near him.  We have such a strong connection that it was easy to be each other’s rock– it’s nice to know you’re not alone b/c he’s going through it, too– not sure how that sounds, but it always gave me comfort that we were connected in that way, too.  You have a lot of things to keep you busy b/c you have a wedding to plan:) Happy planning and best wishes for your future!

Post # 30
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

2 1/2 years so far for us, with a little over 1 more to go. I’m not going to lie, it sucks… a lot….. but it is MORE than worth it! It makes your time together that much more special. And if you are really right for each other, it will become so clear to you. We will definitely never take each other for granted once we’re finally together permanently, and that’s more than most couples can say!

Post # 31
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

We’ve been LDR the entire length of our relationship, 7 years so far but hopefully that will be coming to an end soon. It’s tough and it sucks but it has also helped our relationship. I definitely don’t take him for granted and we are about to communicate our needs and desires really well since being able to talk is vital. We skype at least once a week and average about 2-3 visits a year, which is hardly enough. But we’re hoping he gets a job in my area soon so we can finally be together and get married. That will be the best ever.

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