(Closed) How long would you wait for a proposal?

posted 4 years ago in Proposals
Post # 46
Member
744 posts
Busy bee

It seems like most people would consider an engagement in under a year to be a short courtship.  

Waiting another year + for a proposal would still fall into a reasonable time frame. 

My SO and I started talking marriage very early in our relationship. I’ve waited a year for a proposal.  If things go as planned we should be engaged in just under 2 years of dating. 

Post # 47
Member
19 posts
Newbee

I’ve been with my boyfriend 9 years and still no engagement. I guess we are also only 21 years old, which is okay. but you know. At least a promise ring LOL

Post # 49
Member
728 posts
Busy bee

11 months is not that long BUT since your older than him I can understand why you would want to get engaged sooner rather than later. I wouldn’t stress on it or constantly pressure him (no guy likes that) I would say give it another year and then bring it up again. I know that sounds like a long time but I think its good that your boyfriend doesn’t want to rush. Forever is a long time

Post # 50
Member
656 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

chelsea11:  I’ve been in an actual long distance relationship for almost two years. We are 3 1/2 hours apart and see each other about 2-3 times per month. We just got engaged and he is moving down here in a few months. It’s hard, but, even if you know he’s the one, it’s best not to rush things. Talk to him about timelines in a very non-threatening way and find out what he’s thinking and where he is. Communication is key. If I’ve learned one thing in my 45 years, it’s say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t expect others to read your mind. It sounds like you’ve got a good thing going. 

Post # 51
Member
3307 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

jamiah37:   You had a boyfriend at age 12? Lol I was more interested in dogs than boys at that age.

Post # 52
Member
19 posts
Newbee

doberman:  lol I know. Everyone thinks it’s crazy but whatever! 

Post # 54
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I’m 29 and been with my SO for a year and a half. I met him when I was 22 and we were strictly friends first. I just picked out my ring and getting ready to buy a house and Get engaged. My situation is much different than yours, I would wait another year to make sure this is who you want to marry. 

Post # 55
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I don’t think 11 months is too soon for everyone, many people getting married within a year of meeting and are very happy. However it IS soon for a lot of people. It’s been just 11 months, not even a year, be patient. I know it’s probably not what you meant but wanting to get married because you have to drive to see him is not a good enough reason.

We waited around 8 YEARS before we got engaged and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. We did so many wonderful things before being married, I would not have changed. I can’t imagine being engaged after just 11 months, it would have felt wrong. I feel like we were still getting to know each other then.

Post # 56
Member
2060 posts
Buzzing bee

We got proposed very quickly which was honestly quite scary for me. I’ve been in lots of relationships and plenty that got serious fast, but I almost always completely shut down at the talk of marriage. When Fiance brought it up early in our relationship (we had a bit of whirlwind romance, spent nearly every waking moment together from the moment we met, moved to a different city with each other after a month we met, et cetera) it didn’t scare me away. When he first did it (5 months in) I did expect/kind of hope he would wait a little longer to propose, as we had a romantic trip (most all expenses paid for by my work) to Tahoe coming up at the time, and I thought that would be really cute. But I guess he bought the ring early as he found one he knew I wanted, only one left,  in my size on clearance (this does not bother me. I am obsessed with all things cheap/discounted and he knows this, haha). He said he had planned to keep it a little longer (although not quite until Tahoe, which was 4 months AFTER he proposed) but that once he got the ring in the mail and saw how beautiful was and knew how happy it would make me he couldn’t wait. He even made dinner reservations for a nice restaraunt that weekend, then came home from work that day to me cooking his favorite meal and started crying and got down on one knee. I sincerly thought he was joking and told him to quit goofing around….haha.

 

I was worried at first that it was maybe a little soon (although I never doubted my love for him), but honestly, when he asked I said yes right away when I’ve scoffed at the suggestion from most other partners. I’ll say this – my partner is very in touch with his feminine side and I, my masculine side. 

As I reflect on my past relationships, and look the past the ones where I really freaked when marriage was metioned (those typically ended quickly after), but instead the ones where I legitmately thought we were headed towards marriage, just not “ready” yet. I’m able to see now that these relationships had underlying flaws that I knew I could not reconcile that kept me from moving forward. Did I truly care for these people? Yes. Did I truly feel we had marriage potential? Also yes. But were we ever gonna get married, as well intentioned as I was? Nope.

 

That’s just my perspective. I’ve never been so wildly, undeniably, throw caution to the wind and forget about what anyone else says or thinks, in love. 

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