(Closed) How long would you wait to find out if your SO wants forever with you?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: How long would you wait for your SO to decide that you are the one they want forever with?
    1st date to 6 months : (6 votes)
    5 %
    7 to 12 months : (17 votes)
    14 %
    13 to 18 months : (18 votes)
    14 %
    19 to 24 months : (24 votes)
    19 %
    25 to 30 months : (13 votes)
    10 %
    31 to 36 months : (13 votes)
    10 %
    3 years is nothing I can wait longer. : (34 votes)
    27 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2866 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    To me it depends on age. The 21 year old me would answer much differently than the 28 year old me. I know I would never wait 3 years. For me I don’t need 3 years to decide if something or someone is right for me. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    4693 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I voted 3+ years, we were still very young when we started dating so marriage wasn’t even on the radar for me for the first 4 or so years.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I wouldn’t date for more than 2 years without knowing where the relationship is going. Even if there are reasons to postpone actually getting married, I’d need to know it was heading that way.

    Post # 6
    Member
    24 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    It took 2.5 years to get engaged—but I knew he was the one for me (and he knew I was for him) after about 13months.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1643 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    I’ve not actually voted…..  because I’m not really sure what to vote…

    But I wanted to say this.  My Fiance and I have been together since I was 15….  and although during the classic ‘honeymoon period’ and all the teenage hormonal years I would dream of forever, and we would talk about the house and the 2 babies, and the dogs.  It probably wasn’t until I was about 19 that I realised that what I actually felt for him was LOVE, real hard forever love, I always thought that was what it was….  but you never can be sure with all those hormones, exams and drama 😉 

    We’ve now been together 11 ½ years, living together for 4, and only became engaged Oct last year.  I don’t know at which point he decided he wanted to be forever with me…..  he’s always treated me like I am his princess and the only woman in his world (OK, except his mum!)  but for me, it took 3-4 years to KNOW I wanted forever with him.

    Post # 8
    Member
    9686 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I agree that it depends on the ages and circumstances.  I answered 7-12 months on the poll but was proposed to (this time) within the first six months of our relationship.  But, we are an older couple (40’s) and have established finances and careers, not planning a family, own a home already, etc.   Starting out in life, I would say wait until after school and become fairly established in your career first.

    Post # 9
    Member
    304 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I took him well over a year to even tell me he loves me! I had to make all my friends and family believ that he wasn’t just stringing me along. We were together for over 3 yrs when he finally proposed.

    My biggest lesson I learned from this is that you can’t put ‘rules’ on love. If I had listened to all my girlfiends’ advice or all the cosmo articles I read, I would have left him long ago. I knew that his intentions were good. He just takes his time in making decisions. I actually feel so blessed now, knowing that he really thought long and hard about wanting to spend forever with me. I also know that he hasn’t told a million girls before me that he loved them, which is so special to me.

    If you know in th pit of your stomach that you have a good man, I would wait. (Within reason).

    Post # 10
    Member
    715 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I think there’s a difference between deciding that you want to be together forever and actually proposing.  Depending on your situation, an actual engagement and wedding just might not be possible for quite a while.

    Fiance waited almost four years to put a ring on my finger, but we had had the discussion many times over that we were heading in the direction of a wedding.  And we are both in our 30s, so it wasn’t just a matter of being too young.

    Post # 11
    Member
    4352 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @Sparkidoodle: I wish I could like that. My Fiance and I started dating when I was 16. We joked about marraige from the get go. I really couldn’t tell you when I stopped the puppy love and switched to real love. I mean I was in love the whole time, don’t get me wrong. But I know I have much more mature feelings now at 21 than I did at 16. I told him I was ready to get engaged after we had been together for about 2 years when I was almost 19.

    Post # 12
    Member
    5977 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @mixtapehearts: Totally agree with this. 

    At 21, I thought I was going to marry my ex that I was dating for 3 years. And it took me about 2 1/2 years to figure that out…then 6 months to realize that he was the exact opposite of what I wanted. 

    At 25, I knew in the first month that my Darling Husband was the man I wanted to marry. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    715 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    @mrsginmay:  Oh, that reminds me – It took my Fiance FOREVER to tell me he loved me too.  He told me early in our relationship that “Forever is a long, long time” and he was going to take this decision very seriously.  It’s actually comforting to know that he thought through this decision long and hard and STILL wants to spend forever with me. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    1101 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I didnt vote because we were together 5-1/2 years before we got engaged. I know alot of people get married faster, but we both knew we were going to be together forever, so there wasnt a “rush” to make sure we’re tied down. That was partly why he/we waited so long. We knew neither of us were going anywhere. We’ve lived together for 5 years. We bought a house before marriage and got in great financialy stable condition. We did things most people/friends our age don’t/can’t do. And have savings that most of our friends don’t even make. After having our home and career jobs, we’re finally ready for the get married and have a baby chapter, it just took us a while to get here. For us, I know we did the right thing, no matter how many years it took. I would have waited longer if I had to, because I’m meant to be with him, and a marriage label wasn’t going to change anything for me.  I do think it is something that depends on each relationship.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2416 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Clearly, I wanted to be in a long-term relationship with a man who wanted the same. When we began dating I had no idea that we would get married, nor was that a criteria. The longer we dated, the more we spoke about being in this relationship for the long-haul. Other than that I let the chips fall where they may. I made it clear from the beginning that I wanted a committment (ie: a boyfriend) versus some hook-up or casual dating, but that was it.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1101 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I forgot to mention, I knew he was the one probably after a year into our relationship, and I would say the same for him. We were in love the first year, but as time went on it was more of a this is definitely not just another relationship, but building a relationship into a lifetime thing.

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