Post # 1
Reading the forum I have an impression that the longer we are with the guy, we need him to commit. But what if we’re still young, still in school? Does it matter, that he HAS to propose after few years?! Let’s say you were with a guy for >5 years but because you were still in high school when you met, so now you’re 25 and you’re ready, but he is not.
I mean, there is no right time to get married, but personally I think when you’re married not only does it mean the commitment, but that means you’re ready to start the family soon (and YOU are getting pregnat, not him).
I also think that once you’re married for couple of years and do not have kids people start to pressure you to have kids and you start having kids. But what about financial stability? I think many guys think that once you’re married, you’ll want to have kids and that’s completely life-changer!
I’m curious how long you waited (if you’re still waiting, pick the point in time when you think you’ll get married), and how this relates to the age you were / will be at your wedding. Pick from the poll TWO options: age and length of wait.
Post # 3
I’ll be 26 when we get hitched, and we were together a bit under three years when we got engaged. We had a “timeline” after about 2 years. 🙂
Post # 4
I’ve just realized this poll is confusing … sorry lol
Still you can indicate in the post: like me: 28 years old and 3.5 years.
Post # 5
@victoria86: Interesting perspective. I have been with my Fiance for over 11 years. We started dating when I was 18. I didn’t really ever feel like I was waiting until about 1 1/2 years ago. For some reason, I felt like it was time to take the next step.
Regarding your comment about when is the right time, personally, we wanted to take the next step. But even though we are 29 and 31, we are no where near starting a family soon. We will probably wait another 5 years. I don’t think getting married means you 1) have to start a family or 2) that you are wanting to start one soon. While I want to be married before having children, getting married and having children are two very separate things in my book.
Post # 6
I’m guessing that “>1 year” in your poll options is actually supposed to read “<1 year,” so that’s how I voted.
I was a first-time bride at the age of 47, and I became engaged just five months after my first date with DH (but I was “matched” with him on eHarmony two months before I ever met him in person.)
Although that may seem like a didn’t have to wait much at all, please keep in mind that I had to wait until I was 45.5 to meet the right man, and, due to my faith, I waited until I was 47 and married to have sex, so, I think I definitely had my share of “waiting,” haha.
Post # 7
We were high school sweethearts. Started dating when we were 15 and got engaged when we were 25! When we get married this October we’ll both be 27.
Post # 8
We got engaged on our 2.5 year anniversary (he was 24 and I was 21) and we got married on our 3 year anniversary (he was 24 and I was 22).
Post # 9
i will be 29 when we get married later this year, and we were dating just over a year when we got engaged. I don’t know if i was “waiting” officially that whole time or not.
I think it’s important to recognize how long people are engaged as well- someone can be 30 when they get married and only be waiting 6 months…but can be engaged 2-5 years. I think if either of you are not comfortable setting a rough date within a few weeks of being engaged then the engagement is sort of just a way to pacify one party or the other. Not to say that you need to find a venue within a month, but I have a friend who has been engaged for 4 months and has no idea of even what YEAR they will be planning for (nevermind the season or month.) That just seems like a recipe for resentment to me.
Post # 10
@victoria86: I will be 29. I never “waited.” He took me by surprise and I never had to give a timeline or anything.
Post # 11
I will be 29 when we get married. We were together a little over 3 years before he proposed. 🙂
Post # 12
I’m 23 now and I don’t really consider myself officially waiting because we both decided we’re not quite ready yet. I’ll probably be officially waiting for less than 6 months. As of January next year the proposal will be on the table and my SO has said by next summer. I’ll be almost 25 or just 25 when we get engaged and almost 27 when we get married. We’ve been together almost 2 years now.
Post # 13
In June, we’ll be at 6 years into our relationship. I’ve only really been “waiting” for about 1 year. We will both be 26 in May.
I think he will be proposing soon, which will make us 27 by the time we get married.
I DEFINITELY don’t think being married=babies. And DON’T get married or have kids because other people pressure you.
The first couple in our group of friends to get married are never having kids. He got a vasectomy about 1 month after they married.
Post # 14
It’s very reasonable to wait longer if you started dating at a younger age IMO. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 8 years, and I wasn’t ready to consider marriage until recently. We met while I was in high school. I’ll be 25 when we get engaged, not sure if I’ll be 25 or 26 at the wedding. However we are not planning to have kids so anyone who makes assumptions about that is just wrong.
Post # 15
I am 28 and we got engaged on our 4th anniversary. I don’t think we really started talking about marriage in any serious way until year 3 (age 26) and I was “waiting” for maybe like 2 months. We had already decided to get married, but he wanted to propose officially so it was mostly waiting to tell people.
Post # 16
@victoria86: I walked into the relationship with my now Fiance very blunt in saying I wanted a ring before our 1st year anniversary. I knew immediately he was my man, and I didn’t want to wait for him to commit. I think it helped though that he is 5 years older than me and all of his friends and graduated class were either getting married or having kids.
Regardless, looking back and thinking now, I love him so much that even just being with him is enough. Getting married and having a ring to show his commitment is just a bonus! (:
Also, it really does depend on one’s personal life. I dated a guy seriously through high school for over 3 years and once we were both in college I broke it off because we weren’t going anywhere anytime soon (he was in pre med school planning for another 8 years and didn’t even want to move in together before graduating!) Just be very vocal with your SO in what you want and what he wants and how to reach it together. (: