I’ve been in the mental health care system since I was 12, I was referred to a therapist who I saw and she referred me to a psychiatrist for medication management in addition to therapy with her. I’ve been in and out of therapy since then, I sometimes get tired of it, I feel like I’ve beat every horse dead and there’s only so many times one can talk about traumatic events. I may not be recovered in a sense that I don’t react in any way when it’s in my face in the news or something, but I’m recovered to where I can maintain healthy relationships and it doesn’t haunt me constantly. I don’t think with the situation like what I’m referring to, you can ever return to before it happened which I often feel like is expected of me in therapy.
I also have trust issues with therapists. When I was 16, I had a therapist create false memories, and out of that, I lost several years with my dad’s side of the family, caused a lot of pain, and all because of a therapist who guided and shaped my thoughts into believing that my grandpa abused me.
I’ve regularly seen a psychiatrist since I was 12, only occasional gaps for a few months. I trust psychiatrists easier, and my psychiatrist now I trust completely and he listens to me with what I’m not willing to take, what I’d like to try, if something isn’t working, etc. He also is willing to let anyone go over their time if they need to talk. Not for an hour or anything, but an extra 15, sure.
Oh, I apologize that I come off sounding like therapy is crap and doesn’t work, I don’t intend to. I just was burnt by one horrible therapist and I also feel like in the 15-16 years of therapy I’ve had, it’s beaten some topics to death.
Therapy in the beginning was a lifesaver. And DBT with a one-on-one DBT therapist when I was 16 and going off the deep end with acting out and being wild literally saved my ass. Therapy at the times I’ve needed it and been in it (I know when I do need it and I start seeing a therapist) has been wonderful and at times a lifesaver. When I don’t need it and it almost feels like I’m dwelling on the negative and it’s time to move on, that’s when I stop therapy for the time being.
If your SO is uncomfortable with the idea of couples therapy, you could go on your own. Gain perspective on the relationship with you and your SO’s relationship with help of someone on the outside. Maybe then have him come in for a session periodically.