(Closed) How many bridemaids? How did you make your decision?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 31
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

2. The only two women I can really picture spending an entire day with and feeling like I can be myself. <br /><br />I want to be as comfortable as possible …I want to spend the night with people who are fun and easy to be with the night before. Slumber party style! <br /><br />It was a pretty easy decision for me. ^_^

Post # 32
Member
1117 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Three bridesmaids. My matron of honor was my longest standing friend (I use past tense for complicated reasons) and my two younger sisters. My husband only had a best man, no other attendants. The sisters are an obvious choice. I really regret bothering having my matron of honor in the bridal party.

Post # 33
Member
2521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

We are getting married in my hometown, and my fiance’s family lives out of state.  My family is already much bigger, and not all his family and friends will be able to attend, and so 90% of the guests that attend or more will be my guests.  My fiance only had 3 people that he was even comfortable asking.  I had more than 3 I would have liked to be, but with already a great domination of wedding guests, I didn’t want to dominate the bridal party too.  

I knew I wanted my maid of honor to be my sister who I’m super close to.  My fiance asked my brother to stand up, so I felt like I should ask his sister (I really like her a lot and didn’t want to exclude just 1 sibling).  That only left 1 spot open.  I asked my oldest friend that I’m still close with, and honestly part of the reason was that it would hurt the least amount of feelings.  She didn’t come with other people that I should ask if I ask her, is very easy to get along with, very undramatic, and the one friend that has been there for me no matter what.  Another friend, who I’m probably closer with in that we talk more, I didn’t choose because we always hang out in a group of 4, and I didn’t have room for 3 more bridesmaids, but even more so, she tends to cause drama, there have been parts of my life since I’ve known her where she wasn’t there for me and we weren’t talking (we were just coming out of a period like that when I got engaged), and she tends to need to be the center of attention.  I simply just didn’t feel like dealing with that on my wedding day.  

I will have to say that I’m so thrilled with my decision and the small number.  Finding the bridesmaid dress was a fun, easy outting with that small of a group (rather than would you see on say yes to the dress bridesmaids.. haha), and it definitely saved a lot of money on flowers and bridal party gifts (plus I’m paying for their hair).  

Post # 34
Member
7 posts
Newbee

i HAVE 6 Bridesmaid or Best Man 2 ARE MY SISTERS AND 4 ARE VERY VERY CLOSE FRIENDS.

Post # 35
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - The Runnymede Hotel

 

emilyluwest:  5, which is way more than I ever thought I’d have!

Best Woman was a ‘no brainer’, she’s been my closest friend for years, I even lived with her boyfriend for a year at Uni. I love her very much.

Bridesmaid or Best Man 1 a very close friend at Uni, we lived together, ran an extra curricular society together and still meet up regularly for drinks. I will also be her Bridesmaid or Best Man this August, can’t wait!

BM 2 my Bridesman! He was one of my best friends at Uni, I lived with him for many years and people used to call me his ‘mother’ (lol).

Bridesmaid or Best Man 3 – I actually had some issues with choosing her. I had been good friends with her at Uni and we were in the same ‘group’ as Bridesmaid or Best Man 1 & 2, but our relationship was always a little competitive, we have fallen out once or twice, and since Uni ended (3 years ago) we have seen each other only once a year or so. However, she was quite upset 9though never said anything) not to be included in Bridesmaid or Best Man 1’s bridal party, and I really felt for her. Plus, she was there the night I met my Fiance, and has been an important part of my life. I reasoned that really did did me no harm to include her, and it would make her happy, so the more the merrier!

Bridesmaid or Best Man 4 – Actually my ex! Kind of weird, but we have a really great relationship now (better than when we were together). I have known her a long time, we meet up regularly and do artsy things, like go to the threatre, which i wouldn’t necessarily do with my other BMs. Plus she is a killer party planner!

Post # 36
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014 - Ceremony: St Patrick\'s Basilica Reception: Southern Cross Ballroom, Esplanade Hotel Fremantle

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emilyluwest:  I have 3 Bridesmaids and 1 bridesman :). Two of my bridesmaids are my sisters, and the other bridesmaid is my best friend from highschool who has stuck by me no matter what (she is also god mother to our youngest daughter :)). My Bridesman is also my best friend from highschool, and i’d feel incomplete without him being there for our big day. <br /><br />Choose the people who are important to you, choose the people that will stick by you through anything 🙂

Post # 37
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

<address>I’ve got three, I did have people in mind too. I decided I didn’t want a big bridal party. I decided on:</address><address> </address><address> Maid/Matron of Honor: she is my newest friend (been friends for nearly 3yrs) but my closest friend , she’s really fun and no nosense, no drama kind of girl. I chose her especially because I’ve changed since school and she’s the friend that  really knows who I am now and she’s been so supportive when I really needed her. I think she was a bit surprised to be asked because she’s not super girly and others I known longer but I made a great choice. </address><address> </address><address>Bridesmaid or Best Man1: she’s my best friend from school, we met when we’re 16 (now 23). she’s great and we’re close and totally get each other however drama seems to follow her around but so far, she’s been excited and great with everything so far.</address>

Bridesmaid or Best Man2: she’s my cousin from Australia who is making the trip along with my uncle, aunt and her brother to come to the wedding (we’re based in UK) so it meant a lot that we’re coming so I asked her to be bridemaid because I was so thrilled at seeing them all again. it causes a bit of drama considering some of my family members thought it was unfair that she was picked and not my other cousin of a similar age.

 

  • This reply was modified 7 years, 2 months ago by PenguinLove.
Post # 38
Member
9 posts
Newbee

I have 4! Ones my sister, one is a childhood friend who i knew woudl always be there for me no matter what and the other two are current good friends. So far it’s been great! No drama so far but i made sure i picked the people i knew would want to be there for me on my big day not the ones that would complain or be jealous. 

Post # 41
Member
618 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I am in a similar situation as you, right now I really want to stay with 3 BMs (including Maid/Matron of Honor which I haven’t figured out who she is yet): my sister, my best friend, and FI’s sister. but Fiance wants like 6 or 7 groomsmen and I’m like o___O how am I gonna choose more friends/cousins etc. without hurting feelings??? I think in your situation, your friends you are unsure about seem like they are very close to you, so I would think they’d behave… The real question is if you want them next to you on your wedding day, if yes, then I say go for it!

Post # 42
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I’m just having two, and they are both my oldest, closest friends. I’m not having a maid of honour as I couldn’t choose between them.<br /><br />BM1 – we have been friends since we were 4 and even when she moved away (twice!) we kept in touch. She’s going travelling for 6 months and booked that dates so that she would be back in time for the wedding :)<br />BM2 – my other super close friend, friends since 11 years old. She lives away too and is about to move further but whenever we have time off we meet up and we send each other post :)<br /><br /><br />

Post # 43
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I understand how tough this can be!

I struggled a lot with this, but the way it ended up, I won’t be asking my oldest friend. We’ve been through a lot together but we’ve also grown into very different people after 15 years of friendship; she can be negative and judgmental, and very self-centered, and the kicker is that she’s prone to having total meltdowns at events. She expected to be asked and this is gonna be awkward, but oh well.

I also won’t be asking my FSILs, because I don’t know them very well. They’re sweet women but we’re far apart in age they haven’t responded much to my attempts to hang out with them and get to know them better, because they have their own lives to lead. That’s totally fair but I feel like being a Bridesmaid or Best Man would just be a hassle for them.

When it came down to it, I tried to picture who I really wanted with me in the room as I got married. I only chose people who I feel I can rely on 100% and who I love and admire and feel comfortable with. It ended up being 4 girls, all close friends of mine!

Post # 44
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014 - Stan Mansion

I have 3 including Maid/Matron of Honor. I originally just wanted 1 Bridesmaid or Best Man (step-sister) and Maid/Matron of Honor (BFF) but last minute I askd my sister-in-law to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. No flower girl or ring bearer. I wanted as small of a bridal party as possible. 

Post # 45
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - The Fox Hill Inn

I have 5 total – my sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor and 4 BMs (3 friends and cousin). I didn’t have too much trouble choosing since I don’t have that many close girlfriends. My Fiance had a hard time choosing because he has a LOT of friends who have all been friends since grade school. So he settled on 5 after I gave him a deadline (could’ve done 6 but he didn’t want it to be uneven) and that’s without his 2 brothers included – which is where the drama started. We have since moved past that, but go with who you really want to be standing by your side. I’ve read horror stories on here about BMs who just don’t care or don’t participate – you don’t want to be stressing about everything with the wedding and then worrying about a debby downer BM! Choose people who choose to be there for YOU and know what they are getting into (financially/time consuming/etc) and will make it the best day of your life no matter what 🙂

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