Post # 91
Miss-Mauverick : to add, is it just me or is “No Kids” unnecessarily negative and perhaps even polarizing? I know this isn’t true for all CFBC bees, but the women I know who are CFBC don’t hate all children, they just have made the decision that being a parent isn’t something they want for their own lives. “No Kids” feels very “he-man woman haters club” to me.
I get it’s supposed to encompass anyone who doesn’t have kids, but being childfree by choice vs circumstance is absolutely not the same, so why are we trying to pretend it is?
It also just doesn’t make sense in terms of the names of other boards. We’re not calling the atheist board “No God”.
Post # 92
saratiara2 : Yeah I really hate the stereotype that CFBC women hate kids. Some do, but most don’t. I will admit I am not a fan of poorly behaved kids and definitely get annoyed when they disrupt my enjoyment of something (thinking of screaming kids at restaurants), but in general I like children.
I love my nieces and nephew. Some of our friends have kids and I absolutely adore them. They are always welcome to bring their kids when we have parties because they’re good kids who don’t break things and disrupt everyone.
We live at the end of a cul-de-sac full of kids and I love hearing/seeing them play. There are two little guys a couple houses down from us that are the cutest damn things I’ve ever seen and they are obsessed with our puppy. My heart melts every time they happen to be outside when one of us gets home and they run over to ask if we can bring the puppy out to pet.
I just don’t want my own kids. I just don’t want kids in my house 24/7. I just don’t want to give up the lifestyle we currently enjoy for one that I am quite certain I would regret. Doesn’t make me a child hater.
Post # 93
saratiara2 : sboom : You ladies brought up a very good point about CFBC bees. Some of us love kids. Some of us don’t. Some are ambivalent about kids. Just like there are moms out there who LOVE their own kids but might not care much for others’ kids. All are perfectly valid. Just because I don’t want my own child doesn’t mean that I hate kids. In fact, I’m the exact opposite. I love kids and worked in daycare, preschool, and as a nanny when I was in my early 20’s. I’m the go-to babysitter for our close friends/neighbors who have young children, and I always end up holding a baby or two at family functions.
Also, “No Kids” has a negative connotation as it puts the emphasis on the “NO” and it’s unclear as to the purpose of the board. And if there’s one thing about CFBC bees, it’s that we are NOT in any way unclear about our choices.
Making the decision to not have children, now or in the future, is a huge step and it affects your entire life. So yeah, I do think that a CFBC board is important for those who identify as such. And I will reiterate that there is a HUGE difference between being CFBC and being in the unsure/undecided/maybe-later camp.
Post # 94
sboom : Miss-Mauverick : Definitely true. The people I know who are CFBC seem to constantly be asked “you’re so great with kids/you love kids, why don’t you want them?!”
I mean….I love koala bears, doesn’t mean I want one living in my house.
I think calling the board “No Kids” absolutely puts a negative spin on it, and an unnecessary one at that.
I also think that for those who are childfree by circumstance they would likely feel far more at home on a board for infertility (which is something else I think is needed), as those women can far better understand wanting kids but not being able to have them than can someone who has never wanted kids.