Post # 1
Growing up my mom cooked dinner almost 6-7 nights a week. Sometimes we would get pizza from down the street but my dad demanded and expected dinner on the table by the time he got home and they never liked to spend the money to go out or anything like that. Even when we did go out it was with coupons to the pizza place I mentioned or the cheap mexican restaurant close to home. She was a stay at home mom all through until high school started, but she helped run my father’s painting business with him so she was always busy doing paperwork, taking care of taxes. He also wanted a clean house (she preferred spotless) and a mowed lawn, etc. In high school my mom decided to persue her dreams so she went back to school (while still doing all that I already mentioned) and then eventually got a job as a computer tech at the hospital. She quickly moved up the ranks at work and has gotten over five promotions since she got hired. While working, she was taking classes and helping my dad and cooking crockpot dinners, and gardening on the weekends.
When I started dating my husband, he did not expect any of these things. His family usually eats out or gets take out. His mom cookes maybe once a week, depending on if she’s craving something she cooks. Still, I felt like I wanted to try to cook for us, so I was cooking as often as I could. Now that we have opposite work schedules–I work sometimes until 6 or 9 pm and he works 4am often–I have not been cooking as much. He has to go to bed early so our schedules collide, plus most of what I cook takes a while to make and by the time I finish my physically gruelling shift I’m too exhausted to try. I could start using my crockpot more often but the recipes I’ve found usually require a bunch of prepwork so then I’m cooking before work. I know that just sounds like laziness. It is.
We’ve talked about startng a family soon and I know I don’t and won’t be perfect but of course the thoughts begin to spiral out of control and I think that I have to start eating better. I have to start cleaning and cooking and finding a job that makes me happier. Between my depression and my job, I feel like I am always exhausted. I just don’t know how women do it all. How do you do it all?!
Post # 2
During the summer months, Darling Husband is usually off work and he grills or cooks 4-5 nights a week, I cook 1 or 2 (maybe), and we either do salads or go out the others. During the cold months, when I’m not on the field and he’s working, it’s reversed. Every once in a while he has work buddies, that we only see for a few weeks on certain jobs, that come in and we go out to dinner a lot with them for those weeks.
Post # 3
I voted other because I never ever cook dinner and neither does the husband. Unless you classify microwaving healthy frozen meals as ‘cooking’!
Post # 4
I’m sorry to hear about your depression. We work nights 6pm- 4am (he works 50-60 hours a week and I work 15 at most) give or take so cooking “dinner” doesn’t really apply. I’m in grad school in the evenings before work so our schedule is off. I generally cook chicken a couple times a week and use it for his salad for the rest of the week (I have chicken and potatoes in the oven as we speak). I generally make myself quinoa and use it as the protein base for my salads. I pack salads and fruit for our “dinner” at work 3 times a week. Breakfest is usually made by whoever is up first. Our dogs have tummy issues so I make them turkey and rice a couple times a week, I cook for the dogs more than for the Fiance lol! It sounds very 1950s but I always have his drink ready when he gets home. Jameson and coke takes 30 seconds but makes him feel appreciated. I have more time so I vacuum, clean the toilets, laundry, dust and clean the kitchen counter once a week. We are both generally tidy with the kitchen table being a free for all for mail and junk. We clean the dog poop together and take out the trash once a week. We go out to dinner on date night once a week. We are predictable but it has worked so far
hope that helps.
Post # 5
When I do a run of nightshifts I do nothing – no cleaning, cooking and husband fends for himself.
When I have time I have a tendency to cook one or two meals on weekends to store for the week ahead or I might cook during the week, maybe twice max.
I try and be efficient in the kitchen as much as I can. For example, today I cooked a truckload of home made chicken patties and roasted vegies in the oven at the same time so I spent less time in the kitchen.
In terms of how we share cooking, I tend to cook 3/5 meals and he does the rest.
I also refuse to cook meals that take more than one hour to prepare+cook. I just don’t have the time.
You sound stressed out; I don’t blame you but you sound like you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to work full time and also do all the cooking+cleaning. You can’t do everything and that is ok. That is what your life partner is for, to help you out. Maybe start with weekend cooking in big batches and see how that goes?
Post # 6
I always plan our weekly grocery list for 3 dinner meals. Its just the two of us, so we usually have lots of leftovers.
Post # 7
We’re all over the place. It really depends on how busy we are, if Darling Husband is working in town or not, how sick I am, etc.
Even when we’re in a good groove of cooking, it’s not every night. There are leftovers at times! Crockpot meals tend to feed us a few meals, at least 2 dinners for both and some lunches.
I wish I was better with freezing meals. I find the problem with that is many things should really be thawed ahead of time, not just thrown into the oven/microwave completely frozen.
Post # 8
I cook from scratch 5 nights a weeks and the we have one nice meal out and then we have fast food or something on friday nights.
Post # 9
I cook from scratch 6 nights out of 7 on average. I work, but only 3.5 days a week. We also take nutritious packed lunches to work, sometimes leftovers. I can’t imagine it being any other way, to be honest.
Post # 10
every night. we eat out maybe 4-6 times a year. each week we cook a mix of easy, stand-by type dishes, slightly more complicated/time-consuming or less familar meals and brand new recipes. can’t imagine it any other way. tasty, fun and so much cheaper than eating out.
we both work full time, 5 days a week too but really don’t find it hard to make the time for cooking.
Post # 11
poetgal: I work a resular 8 and a half hour day but sometimes I do need to work overtime. My dh works longer hours usually… Our house is never spotless but we do have a cleaner once a week so it is much cleaner once she leaves ( she mops floors etc which makes it seem cleaner even though its only dust and sand at worst). But I cook every night. my mom worked super long hours and cooked, my dad is a terrible cook but he would and still does help her with the prep work like peeling veg and chopping stuff.
We sometimes (like once a month since we bought a house and can’t afford it anyway) have take aways but we try to avoid it. I usually only use my slow cooker in winter for soups and dh just bought me a pressure cooker (YAY) so now I don’t have to plan ahead for soups and stews and it will cut down my cooking time so some of my favourite meals. If I know I am going to be super busy I spend one weekend doing freezer meals (pies, stews etc – things that freeze well – pizza included) and use that as a back up for rough days. Since we started our new eating plan, we eat a lot less except of veg so I cook as much as I would before and we have leftovers for a few days. I try do things like shredded chicken or a roast or something we can use in different ways rather than eating the same thing every day.
Post # 12
I work 6 days a week and many of those are split shifts and until 11. I cook once a week. I also have two adult son’s, a son’s gf and my old foster son that is always over, so between Fi, myself and them we got it down pretty good. We also rotate on dishes and everything. I usually only cook on my day off. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to only cook for two.
When I was a sahm I cooked 6 days a week and we ate out once.
Post # 13
I usually cook 4-5 nights a weeks. We always have one date night and will get food from the deli or somewhere the other night.
My husband worked from home for a while and he would do all the cooking since he could. Now I work 6:30-3pm so usually I cook Since I have the time. As far as cleaning, I typically do all the cleaning and always have. Darling Husband will help if I ask but he isn’t one to just get up and clean. Plus I have much higher standards then him so even if he does clean, I end up re cleaning. He is tiddy though so that helps.
it’s exhausting and some weeks I dont clean at all, although we’re both neat people so the house usually doesn’t get that bad. I’m pregnant now with our first and plan to stay at home for about 6 months then go back to work part time. So hopefully I’ll have time to maintain the cooking and cleaning for my family because I don’t enjoy eating out all the time for health reasons.
Post # 14
Work 12hr days and I cook 7nights a week. The house is nowhere near spotless but it’s presentable if someone dropped by unannounced (most of the time!!) we will have a take away about once every couple of months, we really couldn’t afford it every Night! I’m in the uk thoug, and I get the impression that take out in the US is a lot more available, more variety etc. Here it’s pizza, chinese/Indian or fish and chips. There may be more variety within the cities, but that’s about our lot in the suburbs!
I was always brought up on home cooked food, and my parents put a lot of effort into always trying to provide fresh, homemade meals, so I think a that has imprinted onto me.
I find doing a batch of cooking on my day off helpful. I will make a load Of sauces, and do anythingg else I can to prep, freeze veggies, make a big batch of breakfast pancakes to freeze etc. So when I have days I really can’t be arsed to cook much there is something there that just needds re-heating.
Post # 15
I cook dinner every night. We very rarely go out for dinner (pretty much only when we’re travelling or have visitors) and it’s healthier for us to eat at home, especially given Mr Trilly’s gluten intolerance.
If I’m feeling like I can’t be bothered to stand over the stove, I’ll rearrange our weekly meal plan to allow for something easy (like red beans and rice or split pea soup) that involves less tending to.