How Many Drinks Is Too Much?

posted 8 months ago in Emotional
Post # 16
4578 posts
Honey bee

Has your mother always been a meddling superficial b**** or is this new behavior?

Post # 17
1105 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Whoa. Your mother would’ve been horrified to see what happened at my wedding then.


Yeeesh. What a prude.

Post # 18
973 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

My brother was straight up trashed at my wedding, no one knows how many drinks he had but we are guessing near double digits starting at 10am….. my mom still didn’t freak this bad. It’s a wedding…. I call 3 drinks a Friday night. Weddings, especially if it’s family so you are around more, 5-7 is not outrageous as long as you aren’t getting sloppy.

Post # 19
517 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Your mom is completely out of line! The last wedding I was at I had 3 drinks and I don’t ever drink. Fh probably had 8-10 maybe more who knows ppl kept bringing shots and refilling glasses. He usually drinks a beer or two a few times a year, but it was a wedding and our friends like to party! Tolerance wise he was fine definetly not belligerent or embarrassing. People have different tolerance levels.

Your mom has image issues if she’s worried people will judge her over another adult human having three drinks! And who tf cares if they do, says much more about them than anyone else! And saying he’s going to turn into an alcoholic over three drinks at a party! I can’t! And then to add that he’s going to be abusive!! In college I was around plenty of belligerently drunk individuals none of which were violent but to each their own. I would be livid that my mom has such insecurity issues. 

Post # 20
1356 posts
Bumble bee

Holy busy body! How about let’s not count the drinks of other adults?? Geez Louise! 

So long as they aren’t an embarrassing mess or driving. Who cares. Myob

Post # 21
6506 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

Well, I went to UW-Madison. Three drinks is barely getting started.

Moreover, this is not about how many drinks your Fiance had. It is about your mother massively overreacting to something that was none of her business. You need to put a stop to that ASAP.

Post # 22
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2019 - Southampton, UK

Your mom is out of line and blowing this out of proportion. I’m a serious lightweight and I could do three drinks if they were spaced out enough. Three drinks for a typical man is nothing.


Post # 24
3737 posts
Sugar bee

Honestly the fact that you all are investigating how many he had, what he had, and when is bananas. People get drunk at weddings and special occasions, and he wasn’t even drunk! I feel bad that he is even explaining himself to you, forget your mom. Unless he regularly drinks heavily, let the man live. You should form your opinion about your husband on your own anyway.

Post # 25
1591 posts
Bumble bee

Well your mom would have fainted at my wedding where a legit wooden canteen filled with homemade moonshine was passed around the wedding party and family before the ceremony in addition to all the shots.

To me, a wedding is a celebration where ppl generally will drink more than normal. So unless this was a daily occurrence, I wouldn’t worry about it.

Post # 26
465 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Your mother’s overall behavior is ridiculous. She’s holding a grudge about one silly thing from a while ago? It sounds like she either doesn’t like your fiance in general for some other thing about him, or she’s just kind of a terrible person. Sorry, but… 

Post # 28
3060 posts
Sugar bee

theteacherbee :  That could have definitely had something to do with it. It is clear from your post that she already had reservations about him (most likely unwarranted) so you could explain all you want to her, it isn’t going to change her mind. It is confirmed even more when you said your brother in law was drinking as well and she didnt care. But this line pretty much tells me everything I need to know

“she ended up lamenting all the way home afterward about how she was willing to give him a chance with this wedding, and he ended up embarrassing her in front of her friends by having one too many.” 

Honestly, and trust that i love my mother with my whole heart. She is visiting me now, actually! I would not entertain any conversations with my mother with her bad mouthing or accusing my husband. We can talk, no problem but the second you start I am hanging up the phone or walking away. You dont need to sit and argue or try to convince her your husband is innocent, it is a waste of time and effort and will only further damage the relationship. 

Post # 29
3533 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

Your mom is fuckin batshit… 

Three drinks at a wedding is well below average. And even if he did drink a bit more and get a little drunk, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. If she’s so worried about being embarrassed why throw a fit? 

She sounds like she has it out for your fiance for no reason at all. Please be a reasonable, respectable adult and stick by your man. He’s 100% in the right here. Your mother is 100% wrong. 

Post # 30
837 posts
Busy bee

For what it’s worth, my mom is usually pretty nutty and difficult. But the days leading up to, and the actual day of, my sisters wedding – WOW! She introduced us all to a supercharged crazy nutcase we had never met before! Some people can’t handle the emotions, pressure to impress, and the overall chaos that is a wedding. Sounds like your mom fixated her anxiety on a problem she created in her own head and now won’t let it go. Your fiancé did nothing wrong, do not apologize or dwell on this, even if she chooses to.

Just out of curiosity, does your mom drink? How many did she have over the course of the day in your estimation?

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