Post # 1
One thing that I never thought would matter to me, but is more important as we get farther into the planning process is having a flower girl and a ring bearer. I’ve really appreciated that in other weddings now that I think about it. The obvious choice for both is one of FI’s nieces and nephews. The two youngest will both be around 3 years old at our wedding, which seems like the ideal age. Here’s the problem though, I don’t want to make the other nieces and nephews feel excluded (there are two nephews and seven nieces altogether). But I can’t imagine having seven flower girls!!! And I don’t know what we would do with the older nephew, he is around 10 years old. I really do think they will feel excluded because one of them (a seven year old) said when we got engaged that she wanted to be a flower girl. Actually she said “flowah gul”, but that’s neither here nor there. 🙂 And making them junior bridesmaids/groomsmen seems way over the top too. I already have four bridesmaids!
I do have a friend with a little girl who will be a year and three months at our wedding. But I think it would be weird to have a non-family member as the flower girl when we already have all these family kids and I’m worried she’ll be too young.
Post # 3
I would go with the 2 youngest if I were you (the ones that will be 3) It’s obvious that way you aren’t “picking favorites”. Or you could not have any, which is what we are doing to avoid your dilemma! Haha!
Post # 4
Actually this may not be as big of a problem as you think. Most of the kids in my family don’t want to serve in the wedding bc they’re too shy or too young. I would ask the kids or their parents to see if this is something they think would be a feasible idea. Also even if they don’t want to “serve” you can always get them a flowergirl dress and take pics with them later so they feel included without having them walk down the aisle.
Post # 5
you can be like Kate Moss…. she had lots and lots of flower girls at her wedding 🙂
Post # 6
I had 3 flower girls, 1 ring bearer, 2 jr groomsmen (they really didn’t do anything but walk down the aisle and pass out programs beforehand) and a jr bridesmaid. Quite a few people told me that I was having too many, but which one was I going to leave out? The kids all behaved beautifully and had a great time.
If you are only going with one, go with the oldest–7 isn’t too old to be a flower girl. The other ones are too young to know what is going on, but the 7 year old would be crushed if she wasn’t included.
Post # 7
@Georgia Bee: Actually the oldest is 13! But I guess that makes her too old to be a flower girl anyway. The rest of the girls are 11, 10, 8, 7 and 3 respectively.
Post # 8
@Ms. Blue: Haha. Kate Moss, I am not.
Post # 9
I agree with PP – I would pick the oldest niece and nephew (10 and 7 seems good to me) to be Flower Girl and Ring Bearer. Or, if you like, oldest on each side (yours and his).
We’re having 2 FGs (both his side, one cousin and one friend of the family, 6 and 7 yrs old), 1 “junior FG” (my side, 1 year old, our Goddaughter, my sister’s daughter), and 1 Ring Bearer (my sister’s son, 6 yrs old).
Hope this helps!
Post # 10
in my sisters wedding me and my younger cousin were the flower girls.. my other sister was crushed. she was one year older then me. cousin was one year younger then me..
she had 2 flower girls and 2 ringer bearers. my first wedding i had two of my neices–( i have 14 neices and 5 nephews( only invited two sibling sets and a total of four-(2 nieces 2nephewe) one nephew was to shy so he sat out the ring bearer duty..
this wedding i am having my children- 7 year old flower girl and 5 and 3 year old ring bearers
Post # 11
I remember reading somewhere about a bride who didn’t have an official flowergirl… she had a bunch of small bouquets made up (they wouldn’t have to be real or very fancy) and every little girl who wanted to was invited to join in the procession. This would work best for a more casual wedding but I thought it was a cute idea.
Post # 12
I’d pick the little ones – they’re going to be the cutest! : ) I don’t think it seems like picking favourites….
Post # 13
Since the older girls are so close in age, I think it’s fine to exclude them. Just choose the 3 year olds.
Post # 14
- Wedding: October 2012 - the Columns Hotel
I have four, ages 5, 7, 9 , almost 10. So clearly, I’m of the thought the more the merrier. 🙁
Post # 15
@rosesarefree: That is a cute idea!
Post # 16
I like the idea of asking the parents first. The parents actually do factor into this to some degree (long story). I guess we’ll see what happens if I take that route!