Post # 1
One of my best friends from high school is getting married and is having her bachelorette party/bridal shower in the next month. Her sister requested that we bring lingerie for the bachelorette party and supplied information for the registry for the bridal shower the following day. I can only make the bachelorette party, which even then is tricky since it is far and I had family obligations. Am I required to bring a gift for the bridal shower too? Or just the lingerie and later a wedding present? (You can see what I’m hoping the answer is since I’m a student and money is tight!)
And note that I said “best friend” because that is what I have considered her. However, if this is at all relevant, she spoke about making me a bridesmaid for a long time prior to her engagement, but instead chose our two other friends (we’ve always been a little group of four), along with some college friends. That was a bit of a surprise. On the bright side though, it does mean less responsibilities and less money spent… or at least I try to tell myself! And getting married myself, I’m trying to remind myself that all this kind of stuff can be tricky.
Post # 3
I would say the lingerie you are providing at the bachelorette party counts as a bridal shower gift, as I have never in my life been to, or ever heard of, a bachelorette party where gifts were requested/required. The Bridal shower’s that I have been to have beem the place where lingerie and the like is given.
Post # 5
Here’s what I would do in that situation – and did do! I had a very similar situation in the past.
I would send a $25 – $40 gift from the registry for the shower, because I’d love to be there but couldn’t make it. And after going through my shower, I can tell you, it really does mean something when someone gets you something even when they can’t be there. It’s not about the money, it’s about the thought. You aren’t required to if you don’t attend, but it will make her feel loved.
I would give a SMALL gift for the bachelorette party – you can usually find lots of clearance lingere at places like JC Penney, Sears, Macy’s. Under $25 for sure. Separate gifts for shower and bachelorette are the norm in my circle, although bachelorette gifts are small and token in nature, the real gift is the girls going out with you for the night.
I will tell you, I know she requested lingere, but one of the best gifts I got at my bachelorette party was one of those hangers with my new Mrs. Avery name on it in wire. If you find a really cheap piece of lingere (one of my friends found something nice for $4 on clearance!!!), you could get that too and it would be a BOMB gift for under $20.
And then I would give either cash or send a large gift ($100 – $150) off of her registry for the wedding.
Post # 6
I didn’t really understand this either when my sister got married. But I did end up buying her a bridal shower gift, a bachelorette party gift (and I also planned and spent money on the party for her), and a wedding gift. I spent the most on her wedding gift (about $50), but her shower was about $20, and (not counting how much I spent on the party itself) I spent about $20 on her bachelorette gift.
Post # 7
@misswhimsy: This does seem like a lot of gifts. Bachelorette gifts are not standard, I don’t think, but I did receive them when my coworkers (who were not invited to our intimate wedding) threw me a bachelorette party. Not everyone bought me something, though… I think it was just a few girls who came to the decision on their own.
If I were you, I’d buy a cheap thong or negligee for under $20. I’d buy a shower gift at a pricepoint that’s comfortable for you- $25-$40, perhaps? And then a gift for the wedding. Again, only do what’s comfortable for your budget.
Post # 8
@misswhimsy: buy for the events you are attending
Post # 9
Thank you all so much for your great advice! I went shopping today and didn’t blow too much on the lingerie. I’m skipping the bridal shower present and I’ll go big for the wedding present. I appreciate you all taking the time to answer 🙂