Post # 1
There seem to be so many posts lately from women who are going through bad break ups or in bad relationships but are afraid to get out. The fear and the pain seem to be holding them back. So in an effort to help them see that you can get through it…
How many heartbreaks did you have before SO/FI/DH? I’m especially interested from women late-30’s +. I don’t mean how many breakups did you have, I mean HEARTBREAKS where you cry for weeks/months. For instance got married at 40 (met at 38). I had 10 offical boyfriends, but only 2 gut wrenching, losing my mind, never going to get over it, heartbreaks.
Also tell me, are you better off now? Did the act of going through the heartbreak make you a better or worse person?
Post # 3
@KoiKove: I don’t know that I’ve had, well…any true heartbreaks yet. Like, gutwrenching, crying for weeks heartbreaks. There was one guy in highschool that I cried REALLY hard about who was probably the closest thing. So maybe 1. But I’m in my early 20s, so maybe that’s why?
Post # 4
I’ve had a few… HS bf broke my heart, but that was a very immature love. College BF really did a number on me…it was a toxic relationship though so it was a good thing that it ended. nothing major after that one…some minor failed dating things but I learned a LOT from my college relationship. It really taught me what I wanted (and didn’t want) in a partner. I will be forever grateful that I went through every relationship that I did because it led me to my FI, who is by far a better partner then I could have ever wished for!!!
Post # 5
I had two boyfriends before I met my now SO, but I don’t know if you could consider them really bad heartbreaks. Both of those relationships were bad for me, but I had never been asked by any boy to go on a date or be their girlfriend, so naturally I jumped right in both times. I found out, luckily, very quickly that they both only wanted to use me for bodily reaons, so I managed to get out of there before anything happened.
I think I’m a much better person now, and my SO has instilled me with a lot more confidence about myself and I always feel safe with him.
Post # 6
i said one… but it was more of a slow ,two year long bleed than break. We canoodled after the relationship for those two years and basically dated without the title. ah the silliness of youth!
So not a movie type deal, more of a prolonged moment of insanity. I moved on eventually (when I met someone I liked) to a new boyfriend. I now think of him as a temporary place holder =0p
Though I’m an optimist so I’ve never really taken a breakup badly.
Post # 7
2 heartbreaks I’d say. I’m better because of the experiences obtained in the relationship but not because of the way it ended (heartbreak)
Post # 8
WOW, 4+ heartbreaks. I’d really like to hear from those women!
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
I voted 0. I have only had one hard breakup, and it was in high school. I was upset, but I wouldn’t call it a heartbreak. For him it probably was though.
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I, against all odds, have managed to stay with my first love – now 13 years later. We’ve definitely had a few hard knocks in the life department among all the blessings, but I feel lucky (and jinxed?!) to have never had my heart broken by a man…
Post # 11
I had one heartbreak before meeting my FI. I learned a lot from that relationship. Mostly, a lot of what not to do and what not to accept. Fi was/is such a breath of fresh air! 🙂
Post # 12
I voted for 0.
I have dated one guy seriously (over 2 years together) before I met FI-to-be and when we broke up (my EX and I), I was very emotional. In that moment, I felt as though I was suffering through the most awful pain I could possibly experience. I felt as though I loved him and that everything had been ripped away from me. I would have described myself as heartbroken.
However…after meeting, dating and falling in love with FI-to-be I realised how little I loved my previous boyfriend, how I thought I loved him as much as was possible, but in reality I was too young and too naive to really feel true love.
If FI-to-be was to leave me – that pain would be unbearable. The difference between the pain I would feel is like comparing a grain of sand to the universe – at one point, that grain of sand was my universe and it meant everything, now it’s just a tiny nothing in my real universe.
I’m not quite sure that makes sense, but it does to me!
I feel lucky to have never experienced ‘true’ heartbreak and I cannot imagine how strong those who have coped with it are.
Post # 13
- Wedding: Either Philadelphia City Hall or a small chapel.
I’ve been in over 20 relationships (lasting mere days to years on & off).
Out of those, I’d say 3 were major heartbreaks.
Post # 14
I said one heart break but I don’t think it totally counts, my bf of 4+ years broke up with me to be with someone else out of no where, kicked me out of our shared home. I wasn’t too upset because we had grown apart but I was heart broken because he kept my dog!! Long story short I got my puppy back and my heart was good to go 🙂 plus I wouldve never met my fi if that jerk didn’t break up with me!
Post # 15
There are many ways to get your heart broken, not just from a relationship. The worst heartbreaks can come from your children, sickness and death.
I’m 53 and spent 25 years married to a woman-hating, self-hating, emotionally abusive man. He told lies to my children (I met my now DH while I was separated and my ex told my then 18 year old son I’d been cheating on him). I’m rebuilding my relationship with my son with whom I’d be extremely close. My ex did not break my heart. Feeling I’d lost my son nearly destroyed me. Anything that hurts my children badly breaks my heart. Once my ex picked up my daughter for his weekly dinner with her and she’d had an awful day at school so she was in a bad mood. 15 minutes after he picked her up he returned her like defective merchandise because she “had a bad attitude”. That broke my heart for her.
I’ve had my heart broken by men, by friends, by the death of my father…and I’ve survived. I believe that loss and heartbreak is a part of life. You learn and even the pain is an opportunity to improve yourself. I tend to be an extremely optimistic person.
Post # 16
My current SO is my 5th “official” boyfriend, but I would say I’ve had 2 real heartbreaks before him. In each of my relationships, I learned a lot about what I want in a relationship and in life, so I would say that all of my relationships, even the ones I wasn’t heartbroken over, helped shape my life.