(Closed) How many is too many?

posted 9 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I think 4, max. I can see a situation where you might have one with your mom’s side, dad’s side, FI’s fam, and friends. But that’s pushing it.

BUT

I would never ever expect anyone to come to more than one. And if someone was going to be at more than one (like bridal party, for example), I would specifically tell them they do NOT need to buy me 4 gifts!

 

What are all these parties for??

Post # 4
Member
2342 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Seven is a lot!! I could understand if diferrent groups were throwing it and weren’t invited to all of them, but really 7?!?  Where would you even put all that stuff!  I would think 3 would be the most (friends, family, and coworkers) all seperate groups.  Wow…I’m still in awe that she’s having 7!  I’m surprised no one has said anything to her about it yet!  I’d only attend 1!!

Post # 5
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Maybe this is the traditionalist in me but Personally I think One! And it should be thrown by the wedding party NOT a family member!

Sometimes two can be ok if your work decides to throw you one (common in close knit work places) but I would NOT allow any more than that to be thrown for me!

Post # 6
Member
1490 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Seven showers with the same guest list?? Oh no, oh no, oh no.

Multiple showers should have different guest lists, IMO, and no one should feel obligated to bring presents to multiple showers they’re invited to.

Post # 7
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Wow. she is really working her family–please tell me they didn’t bring a gift to each one! That’s just craziness.

I would guess 3-4.

Family (and I see situations where it’s Father-In-Law and your family..I know my futures are throwing me a “surprise” bridal shower but none of my family can attend because of long distance.)

Than, of course the one your family (bridesmiad throws)

Than I could see one for friends

and one with co-workers (though I wouldn’t have this one becuase we work independently from each other and only see the others twice a year for training meetings)

But, I wouldn’t expect people attend more than one (unless bp). And, I certainely wouldn’t expect more than one gift!

Post # 8
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m having four but none are being hosted by family. And I certainly didn’t solicit ANY of them, they were all offered to me. My bridesmaids are hosting one for me on the east coast because FI’s family is there and many of my friends live there. I’m having three in my home state 1) mom’s family 2) my friends and 3) my mom’s friends who are like aunts to me. We actually turned down offers from others, simply because I didn’t want to invite every female from the wedding to a shower – just those I am close with. I certainly didn’t demand them though, and the only people invited to more than one are bridesmaids, sisters and the mothers – and I’ve told them each 10 times not to get multiple gifts.

IMO it is nice to have multiple smaller showers than one huge one – you get to spend more time with each of your guests, and each party can be a different theme fitting the particular group of invitees. My shower with my girlfriends is going to be a cocktail theme, the shower with my mother’s friends a tea theme, etc. But I can’t imagine having SEVEN. One would have to have a very large wedding and large family to require seven showers….

Post # 9
Member
813 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I think one is plenty. Two or three are warranted in a situation where you are having to separate showers in separate locations (like one on your hometown, and one in your FI”s hometown for his family, or an office shower). 

I think that seven crosses the line if they are obviously with the same guest list. I wouldn’t  expect guests (except moms and bridesmaids) to attend more than one!!!

Post # 10
Member
990 posts
Busy bee

One is definitely plenty though I can understand needing a few more (you know … distance … divorced families (hello! right here!) and things such as the like call for multiple showers sometimes.

However, 7. SEVEN? SEVEN?!?! That’s WAAAAAY too far … and I just don’t understand it – I mean, why would she require this? If I were going to all seven … well, I have to admit I’d be spiteful with my gift.

Post # 11
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I have to say, if I were invited to more than one and I was not immediate family (sister, mother) or a bridesmaid, I would simply decline and wish her a good time. It is pretty inconsiderate to invite a guest to more than one….

 

Post # 12
Member
2719 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

7 is a lot to be invited to! I mean, immediate family & Bridal Party I understand, but that’s still a lot. Hopefully she’s not requiring everyone to go to all 7-or really really wanting everyone to go to all. She should understand that everyone has a life & that even those that should be invited to all shouldn’t be required to go to them. I know I’ll have at least 3 parties, and all the girls will be invited, but I won’t want them feeling that they have to go to all- just in case they can’t get to one, they have the option of going to another

Post # 13
Member
414 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Seven is way too many!

Post # 14
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think 7 is inappropriate if the same guests are invited to 3 or more. I can understand maybe up to 4 … a brides side, a grooms side, friends and coworkers. I don’t think its your place to have ill feelings to the bride. Just because you are invited to 7 doesn’t mean you have to GO to 7. Politely decline from the second invite.

Post # 15
Member
4382 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

I’m having 4 or 5, and I’m stressed out about it. I really would rather not have that many. They’re not being thrown by anyone in my family, so it’s hard to tell them no, thanks.

I can’t imagine having SEVEN showers.

I don’t know if there is a set rule as to how many are appropriate. I guess it also depends on the size of her wedding.

Post # 16
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Wow, I have no idea how I would react if I was one of those family members invited to all seven showers! Maybe I would try to make light of it and buy a gift set and split it up between the showers (ie: buy a set of cups and give one each time. haha), but honestly, that’s way too many showers. 

I think any bride who demands a shower is just going to be greeted with disgruntled hostesses.

 

Oh, and I agree with everyone above – one shower is plenty. two makes sense if work is throwing one or home is somewhere else. three or four are pushing it, but there may be situations where it’s appropriate.

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