(Closed) HOW MANY IS TOO MANY?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
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  • Post # 31
    Member
    2330 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I have 10 bridesmaids. I don’t think it is tacky……but we also have a massive guest list so…… it works. 

    Post # 32
    Member
    2421 posts
    Buzzing bee

    RANT- My opinion is based on working for many years in the wedding business and working more than 300 weddings/receptions over about 20 years, SO-

    TACKY is the bride who makes her 91 year old grandmother wait on a beach in 97 degree sun, because the bride wants to make the perfect entrance.

    TACKY is the groom who has been living with his bride for four years and decides to grope her at the kiss, presumably to demonstrate his manliness in public.

    TACKY is the wedding party that arrives SO drunk that some of them need to be assisted to seats during the wedding ceremony, and cannot leave their seats safely until escorted out after the recessional. I could relate MANY more.

    what’s beautiful, meaningful and touching?

    the bride and groom who choose their attendants based only on the love, concern, gratitude, and trust they feel for each individual they’ve chosen.

    the bride and groom who examine each selection in light of those considerations AND have the empathy to feel for how those included and excluded will feel by the choices of the bride and groom.

    The kindness and discretion of the bride and groom regarding any concerns voiced or reported regarding any family or friends who were included or excluding and the strength of character and honesty to address those concerns with compassion and love, and ALWAYS with empathy. We’ve all been included or excluded at one time or another and we all know what it’s like And most important, how it feels.

    Least of all would I care about the photographer or florist or guy who arranges the rentals of the tuxes! You are paying for their services, not their opinions about how large or small your wedding party should be!

    I recently attended anexquisite wedding in which their were 17 BMs and 2 MOHs, and another in which there were 8 BMs and 2 MOHs. Both reflected love respect and joy. 

    Don’t be concerned about how many men and women are standing with you at your weding. Be concerned about why they’re there and how much they mean to you.

    Hope all of your weddings, the largest and the smallest, perfectly express the love in your hearts on your wedding day!

    Post # 33
    Member
    1832 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Your wedding party becomes a line item in your budget so my first question is always can you afford taht many?

    8 bouquets, 8 bouts, 16 thank you gifts and you need to invite their spouse/so/FI to the Rehearsal Dinner so that is 32 people right there just for your Rehearsal Dinner before you count you guys, family members, whomever else.  Who is hosting the Rehearsal Dinner and are they cool with hosting such a big one?  There is so much that goes into choosing the wedding party aside from warm and fuzzy feelings.  There is a cost factor too!

    Post # 34
    Member
    7 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I have 8 bridesmaids too, six adults and two little girls (who are wearing different dresses, like flower girls, but REFUSE to be called flower girls!) and I only have 67 guests. I don’t even care – people tell me that’s too many, I’m like… whatever. I’ve had ZERO drama, but that’s possibly because I’m paying for everything except for accomodation and hair and make up (which isn’t madatory.) They love the dresses and like the shoes, they haven’t see the jewellery yet (just earrings) but I’m sure that even if thy don’t like them, they won’t say anything. No showers, a hen party which my sister has organised (it’s tomorrow!) and zero problems 🙂

    Post # 35
    Member
    179 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I don’t think it’s tacky at all. I have 8 BM’s and my Fiance has 10Groomsmen.I know and love all of these girls and couldn’t picture them not being there. It may cost a bit more than 3 or 4 but I chose these girls because of the relationships I have with them and that’s important to me. My Fiance guys are all really good friends/relatives as well. We wanted to celebrate with all our closest family and friends and we have A LOT of them 🙂

    Post # 36
    Member
    1340 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    View original reply
    porscha bell.:  People are ALWAYS going to make comments about your wedding. I have had friends with 9 on each side, and people commented. I have had friends with just family and people commented. I have had friends with only one on each side and people commented. If not abou that, it’s going to be about the place you chose, or the food or something. People are just annoying like that.

    If you have 8 ladies (and 8 gentleman) who you want to stand up for you, let them stand up for you! And congrats!

    Post # 37
    Member
    1979 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    View original reply
    porscha bell.:  Not tacky at all! Though maybe I’m biased because I have 10 bridesmaids! Though Fiance has 5 groomsmen because he has fewer close friends and there are only sisters so they are all on my side. Everything has been smooth sailing so far. I am doing the bouquets myself so that’s saving a lot. One thing that really helped was that I picked 34 dresses from one designer in the same fabric and color and the girls could pick from those- everyone was happy! And I am letting them wear whatever nude shoes they want. There are great bonuses to having a large bridal party- no one is burdened with the bridal shower or bachelorette party- there are plenty of people to help. We are also doing a giant kings table so that everyone can sit with their spouses/SOs.

    Post # 38
    Member
    210 posts
    Helper bee

    my cousin had 16..i felt like they were a high school football team of the A team and the B team lol….certain girls wore different shades depending on their ranking…haha so no 8 is definitely fine 🙂 

    Post # 39
    Member
    87 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I have 13 Bridesmaid or Best Man..and 400 guests! I just couldn’t narrow it down lol. Have who you want I don’t think its tacky at all

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