Post # 1
I am having the worst time narrowing down my bridesmaids list!! Besides my sister and my best friend of 27 years, I have so many friends/cousins I would want to have and I just don’t want to hurt anyone’s feeligns! My mom is insisting 4 bridesmaids is enough, but i’m thinking closer to 9? Gah! what to do?? How many did you have? Please vote!
Post # 2
I had 5 and even that seemed like too much at times. It was impossible to work with everyone’s separate schedules. I don’t think any of the event leading up to the wedding (dress shopping, shower, bachlorette, even rehearsal) had all of the bridesmaids able to come.
Post # 3
bellisima : I mean. 9 is alot. You’re going to be dealing with 9 differing opinions. And if they aren’t all exactly laid back and easy going…that’s going to lead to some drama.
It isn’t impossible, but you should be very choosy about who you will have as bridesmaids. You want people who you love and will make your life easier. Not harder!
I’m having 4 – 2 sisters, and 2 best friends.
Post # 4
bellisima : I had 5 and that was plenty. My sister had 7 and it was crazy. Honestly, I kinda side-eye anyone with more than 7. Etiquette says 1 attendant per 50 guests (the idea being that the ratio of attendants to guests should be really small so as not to create a feeling of an in group and out group at the wedding). I don’t know if anyone who actually abides by this rule, but tossing it out there fwiw. When people have a 100 person wedding and 10 attendants each, it does start to kinda feel like two weddings.
Post # 5
It depends on the size of your wedding, but 3-5 is my happy range. Ideally I’ll have 4, but right now that’s looking closer to 6. My cousin had 6 on each side (totalling 12) and it seemed like more than that. It seemed way too big to keep track of and remember their names, and they had 250 people at their wedding. 6 doesn’t sound like a lot, but seemed a lot to me, as a guest and volunteer photographer.
My wedding will have 80-100 guests, hence why I feel 4 would be a nicer number, although I have easily 8-10 women on the list of who to consider.
I found this point system handy in determining who should DEFINITELY be in the party, and who maybe should not be. http://www.brides.com/story/how-to-pick-bridal-party-bridesmaid-quiz
In the end, feeling are bound to be hurt, but only have those that have truly supported you and your partner, and don’t invite anyone you think you might regret. Do your best damage control in explaining why you had to make the choices you did afterward.
Best of luck!
Post # 6
bellisima : Dont listen to your Mom. I had 10. Hear me out. I have four sisters and 1 sister in law so that made 5. I had 2 best friends that made 7. Then I put in 2 of my close cousins and 1 niece( who is a teenager) so that made 10. It was awesome and I would not change anything. It is not too many. I dont care what anyone says. My husband had 7 groomsmen. We had 2 girls to 1 guy in most of the couples. I didnt matter. Nobody cared and it was so much fun. It also made the bridal shower cheaper for my bridesmaids. I know people will say stuff but it worked out for me. The only thing that gets expensive is bridesmaid gifts and bridesmaid bouquets. I just did gifts for about $30 and I did small bouquets. It worked out. I think anything over 12 would be too much though lol. I think 12 would be the max. I also had a large wedding of about 200 so like its not like the bridal party was out numbering the guests. If you have a very small wedding you might want to scale down.
Post # 7
I’m having 2. The most I was even willing to entertain was 4.
9 is way too many. Maybe just cut it off at best friend and sister. Make it east. Let them know you loved them all and didn’t want to hurt anyone.
Post # 8
I’ve opted for 0 bridesmaids so I am unable to vote. Somethings to consider.
More bridesmaids = more varying opions
More bridesmaids = more schedules to coordinate for pre-wedding events and day of wedding
More bridesmaids = more $$$ to be spent
Post # 9
Do your thing. If you love them all, include them. One recent wedding in our family had 13, another 17.
No one had The Horrors and everyone had a good time. Being kind and loving is really MUCH more important than being “right”.
If “feelings are bound to be hurt” that’s a MUCH bigger wrong.
Post # 10
- Wedding: October 2017 - Sauk Valley Resort
I have 6 and it’s nearly impossible to coordinate anything. They all end up getting split into two separate groups and can never agree on things. I would have cut it down to four (my sister, closest cousin, and two best friends) had I known.
Post # 11
I have 4 and 3 of them are my sisters. I wish I would have just kept it at two bridemaids. All the opinions, people having issues with this and that and negativity. I understand why people keep it simple with no wedding party or just two people. I don’t have a maid of honor or matron of honor. I’m keeping it at just the bridesmaids.
Post # 12
bellisima : To me, anything over 3-4 is tooo much. BMs are supposed to be the closest friends, and I think after 3-4 people, the rest are not that close.
Post # 13
I have 7 and have had no issues so far. Everyone is very calm and go with the flow. I think it depends on the personalities of the people involved. You can have a stressful time with a low number of BMs if there are dramatic, disinterested, or super opinonated.
Post # 14
- Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club
I had 7 which consisted of my 3 sisters, DH’s 2 sisters, and my 2 best friends. It was difficult. Dress shopping was a huge headache and making sure everyone had their fittings was a pain. Then there was a lot of drama between them all when they planned my shower. If I had to do this all over again, I probably would have had just my sisters. As much as I love my BFFs and I have great relationships with DH’s sisters, but I would ask them to be an honored guest or something of the sort.
Post # 15
I have two maids of honor, 6 bridesmaids, and 1 junior bridesmaid. I am more than okay with having this many. It doesn’t matter how many people are in your party! It’s your wedding and you can do as you choose. No one is going to remember how many people were in the bridal party! They’re going to remember the event itself! I couldn’t imagine not having these girls by my side for the big day. You do you, girl!