(Closed) How many is too many?

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I don’t think that any particular number is “too many.”  However, some things to think about:

  1. You don’t want a wedding party that is of a ridiculous size compared to the number of guests.  Just to give an extreme example, if you had only a dozen guests (as we did), the size wedding party you are talking about would result in more people up front than in the audience.
  2. Your costs tend to go up with a lot of attendants–bouquets, gifts to the bridal party, etc.
  3. The potential for drama goes up exponentially with a lot of attendants.  First off, it becomes less and less possible to please all of them, because you’ve got so many different opinions.  Second, the more you have, the greater the likelihood that at least some of them won’t get along with others.  And finally, if you have a lot, you’re less likely to be really close to all of them in the first place, so smaller things may end your friendship with some of them.

Personally, we stuck to a total of two attendants for the two of us.  But you have to decide for yourself whether a large wedding party is worth the aggravation for you.

Post # 4
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It’s your wedding – you are paying for it – and everyone there will enjoy the day, and the food and beverages, whether you have 2 bridesmaids or 10.  If you really feel that close to that many people, do it!  I’m having 5 for a 125 guest wedding, and I would argue for hours that I need them all!

Post # 5
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I think it’s a very large bridal party I don’t think it’s too many. I’ve heard of weddings before having a lot more. I remember this bride in Four Weddings once who had like 25 bridesmaids lol. 

Post # 6
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We’re having 6 braidsmaids and 8 groomsmen. If they’re your friends/family I don’t think numbers really matter!

Post # 7
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

@2dBride:  Ditto.

I had two MOHs, and was able to pay for hair & makeup, plus small gift bags for both of them. There was NO drama, thankfully!

Post # 8
Member
1600 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

If you honestly feel as though every single one of those girls is an awesome friend/relative, then it’s not too many.

I feel that a bridesmaid should be someone who has supported you, helped you, and been there for you throughout your life no matter what. And she should be the kind of person who is happy for you and your fiance and supports the marriage. And of course, willing to lend her support and assistance with any extra wedding stuff you are struggling with.

If this is the case for all of them, of course have them all be bridesmaids.

The only time I have a problem with huge wedding parties is when girls are like: “OMG I totally have so many friends/sorority sisters/cheerleading pals/cousins I just CAN’T leave any of them out because there would be so much drama!” etc, etc, etc.

Just because someone is related to you or you played softball with them 10 years ago doesn’t mean they HAVE to be your bridesmaid. If the only reason you ask them to be an attendant is so they aren’t offended, something is wrong.

But that’s just MHO. 

Post # 9
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Definitely not too many. I have 3 maids of honor and 8 bridesmaids. But they are a combination of life friends, close relatives and my fiance’s 3 relatives. These people mean a lot to us, so we’re having them with us. Our wedding will be about 250-300 ppl. As someone that has been in large wedding parties (12BMs) and small (2 BMs). All of the wedding/bridal parties or luncheon or shower were much more fun with a larger ‘built in’ crowd than with just 2 BMs. Good luck and enjoy your day!

Post # 10
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Its however many people YOU want…dont worry what other people say. Personally, I am having 5…but I am in a wedding in October where I am one of 16 bridesmaids.

Post # 11
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Ashley1281:  I have the same issue- I will have one maid or honor (my sis), one matron of honor (my cousin who is older and like a sis) and then my FI has twin sisters so I need to have them for sure, I have two other close girl cousins as well who are non-negotiable and then I have alot of friends from different points in my life (high school friends, university friends etc…). I have 6 before I even can think of adding in friends so I think I will be 10 and over maybe even 12… people tell me it’s bad to have alot of bridesmaids cause it will distract from the bride!?! I just want to have the people who matter to me by my side that day!!!!!

I say go with what you want and 8 is nowhere near too many!!!! 🙂

Post # 12
Member
3887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m going to be the naysayer in the group; 10 bridesmaids/MOH is quite a large party and I’m assuming the groomsmen will be an almost equal number. So including the bride and groom that’s 24 people and I think it’s a bit too much.  There’s always the issue of drama and expense but others have touched on that already; however, there are some logistics:

-Dressing the bridal party gets a lot harder as the numbers go up. Even if you put your ‘maids in mismatched dresses, it is going to be very hard to find a style and color that works equally well on all 10 ladies, and once you find it you have to worry about cost and if the store even has that in stock

-If you’re planning to take limos back and forth, you’ll need at least 3 (most limos only hold 8 people unless you get into the super-stretch Hummers which many think are ugly, but you’ll each have a lot of “stuff” with you, and more stuff means less space for people)

-The processional is going to be very long, and after a while, it gets boring for the guests

-Photographs after the ceremony will take ages with a group that size (you would want to either cut back the photo list, do some before the ceremony, or risk the dreaded “gap” that guests dislike so much– even with food and cocktails, a 2-hour gap between ceremony and reception kinda hurts)

-This will add a lot of complication to the table arrangements for dinner as you’d need at least 30 seats at the “head” table/tables, assuming just some of your bridal party has a SO to sit with them. If they all do, that’s 40 spots plus your parents

-As a guest, extremely large bridal parties can somtimes be percieved as over the top

I’m not saying don’t do it– only you can tell who should stand up with you and who shouldn’t. But be very aware of all the extra challenges you’re setting up for yourself.

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