(Closed) How many Kids? and Why?

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 61
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

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Mrs.LaFountain:  That’s quite a generalization you have about only children. If by weird, you mean statistically more likely to be high-achievers and that they on average have higher IQs by 2-3 points, then the numbers agree with you.

I’m an only child, and Fiance is the oldest of 3. Neither of us is certain we want children at all, as we both are career-oriented, and I’m considering getting a second advanced degree. I don’t believe in raising children in a home with two working parents, as I don’t trust hired help to raise my children better than I could myself. At the same time, neither of us want to give up our careers. I suppose I could still change my mind as I’m still young, but for now I honestly can’t imagine it.

Post # 62
Member
2835 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

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MrsFiveOh:  You must be in my mind.  LOL, I have the EXACT same answer.  Word for word…kinda scary.

Post # 63
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee

My SO and I aren’t getting married for a while, so kids are a few years off for us, but we are between having one or two right now. Currently, I think I would prefer to have just one. We will be in school for a while longer, and it is a possibilty that SO will still be in school when we have a kid. Unfortunately, we will probably have student loan debt for a long time to come. 

I don’t regret school, but with this amount of debt I believe we have to choose a different, more conservative lifestyle. We will either live in an apartment or small home for the forseeable future, so having a lot of children won’t work. 

I have also worked as a nanny, and have a lot of close friends who are working on their 2nd or 3rd kids right now (crazy, since I’m 22!) It seems that these people are so happy when they have just one kid. They get to hang out with their child while still seemingly having some sort of balance between family, work, etc. The ones who have two just seem to be different than they were with just one. I can’t put my finger on it, but that has been my observation. 

Post # 64
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee

Two. It’s important to have a sibling. 

Post # 65
Member
8 posts
Newbee

I prefer 2or 3 kids. To raise them shall be very happy. Hope they’re not coming together but one by one. A big family is a lively family.

Post # 67
Member
877 posts
Busy bee

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NovaRising:  hahaha! Great minds, I guess 😉

Post # 68
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

We decided on 4.  I have 1 from a previous situation (why do I always refer to my daughter’s father as a situation?), and we’re hoping for 2 more boys and a girl. He wants a girl.  I would be content with 3 more boys, girls are hard work lol.  My daughter is a sweetheart but she’s also a pre teen and good Lord sometimes drives me crazy.

Post # 69
Member
1388 posts
Bumble bee

Fiance wants 3, I’d prefer 2. 

He comes from a household of 3 kids who never struggled for money and loves the dynamic that he and his siblings have. I come from a household of 4 children and while we never really struggled I did see the strain that having a fourth child put on my mum and dad financially. While that may not be the case in every household it was for my parents and it makes me want less children so that we are more financially secure. 

That said, I would like a boy AND a girl, so our agreement is that if we have a boy and a girl as our first 2, we will stop, but if we have two boys or two girls we will try a third time to get some mix (but if after three we still have all the same we will stop).

 

Post # 70
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Ideally, 2. If I could choose, 2 boys. We both really want at least one boy, so if we got 2 girls to start, we may consider another. 

I also wouldn’t want just one, I was an only child (just with a step brother that didn’t live with us and half brothers that I never saw) and I hated it. 

Post # 71
Member
2366 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I’m one of four, but we are planning on 2 with an option for 3.

Post # 72
Member
1225 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

3? We’ll see how it goes. I definitely think that two is the worst for the kids, but maybe the easiest on the parents. With two, there is so much pressure on that one relationship and it kind of defines the family dynamic. With three, there is more fluidity in the family relationships as adults. I don’t want more than three, but I’m predisposed to twins so trying for a third baby and getting twins us a scary scenario to me!

Post # 73
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: Banquet hall

Fiance was one of three and I was one of two. He wanted two, and I wanted three. We both have good relationships with our siblings, and each grew up with four cousins each in a small town. That was a huge advantage. Not so much when it came to prom dates, lol, but if one of us was bullied or hassled, it ended very quickly. There were simply too many of us to reckon with. We shared rides, helped each other get jobs, and always had enough players for our own baseball team.

These relationships were and are very important to us. We moved out of state for economic reasons and part of the compromise is that we now fly hundreds of miles and spent thousands of dollars to be there for the special days in their lives. When we were dating and getting engaged, Fiance and I never dreamed we would end up so far from our families. If none of our siblings or cousins follow us to our new location (and thus our children will not have any nearby cousins or kin), this may influence us to have more children to provide the strong kinship bonds we were raised with and value. 

Post # 74
Member
63 posts
Worker bee

Not putting a set number out.  Whatever God will provide is our answer, be any children be biological or adopted. Yes, we’re Catholic.  That’s the usual next question. 

Post # 75
Member
696 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I always wanted a bigger family, and was set on 3 or 4 kids. I grew up as an only child until the age of 10 when my sister was born and when I was a kid I was lonely being an only child. DH was an only child until age 12 when his brother was born. He always jokes he wants 10 kids but I shot that down quick lol. Now that I’m pregnant I’m thinking two will be just fine. We may change our minds in the future but for now I’ll say 2 is good number.

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