Post # 1
We’re getting married in Sedona, AZ, and our officiant is coming from Lake Havasu City, AZ, which is 150 miles. He asked me to get him a hotel on Friday night, which I am fine with because we’re having a late ceremony rehearsal. The wedding is at 1pm, so he has plenty of time to drive home, even if he comes to our dinner at 3pm. However, he’s asking to also stay Saturday night. Am I being stingy or is it our responsibilty to also pay his Saturday night hotel? His services are “tip” only, so we decide how much to may him as our officiant because he’s a Catholic monk. How much do you typically “tip” a catholic priest, and should I include the hotel fee as part of this “tip?”
Post # 3
I’m not sure about the tip, but I would not pay for a 2nd night. You’re already paying for one night, which is understandable; but there’s no need for him to be there 2 nights. It sounds like he’s trying to have a mini-vacay on your dime.
Post # 4
This is a tough one. I agree with CaraMia that it sounds like he’s trying to have a mini-vacation at your expense, but for some reason, the fact that he’s a Catholic priest makes it hard for me to say that. I feel like priests should be above doing that for some reason…
At any rate, say he did attend your 3pm dinner– how late do you think he would stay? I don’t think he would stay too late… maybe a couple of hours, max. So maybe he’ll split around 5pm. And if it takes about 3 hours to drive that 150 mile journey, he should be home by 8pm– that’s really not late enough to warrant another night at a hotel.
Did he say why he wants the extra night? Is he not used to driving? Is he older? Does he have a hard time driving at night? Maybe he has a reason for asking for the extra night and we’re just not seeing it.
Either way, if you decide to get him the extra night (without him giving you a good reason… which I’m not if sure you’re supposed to question a priest…), I would think about having that be (part or all of) his tip.
Btw, how much is the hotel, per night?
Post # 5
- Wedding: December 2010 - Al Cielo / La Laguna
Is he an older guy perhaps? I know that some of our older relatives hate to drive at night. If not I would have to agree with everyone else that he is looking to get a mini-vacay from it. Personally I would pay for the second night and then tip him less if that was the case.
Post # 6
I would definitely pay for the 2nd night. We will be paying for the Rabbi who is doing our wedding to stay the night before the wedding and the night of the wedding aka 3 days, 2 nights. I think its quite reasonable.
Post # 7
Update…I ended up paying for the 2nd night of hotel, which was about $80, so in the grand scheme of things, I’d rather just pay for it than make any waves with him. He is older, and he told us later that he doesn’t like to drive at night, so I’m glad I just went ahead and did it. Good lesson to learn 🙂 Thanks for all your insight!