Post # 1
]We were planning on doing a stone ceremony, but with a recent turn in inspiration, it doesn’t really fit in with the whole feel of the wedding. I know it shouldn’t matter, that if the stone ceremony is very important to us, than we should just do it anyway… but honestly, I just chose it because one of my BMs said we *have* to have some sort of ritual, and none of the things I am coming across really speak to me (ie. disinterested in hand fasting, sand ceremony, unity candle, etc.)
Is it substantial enough to just have our vows, a couple of readings, and thats that? We’re definitely not having a religious ceremony, and in fact, we may even get married at a courthouse before hand to avoid having to find a legal officiant that means something to us. I don’t know.
How many of you are NOT doing any kind of ritual during your ceremony?
What are you including?
Post # 3
We just went to a wedding where the only ritual was the exchange of rings. It was over 80 degrees outside, and we were all appreciative that the ceremony was short and sweet, while still very meaningful… and then we got on with the party!
From an anthropological perspective, I believe that some ritual that is meaningful to the couple is important to mark the occasion… but it certainly doesn’t have to be something at the ceremony.
I think we are going to do a hand-binding (I was against it at first, but now I’m loving it), and the wine box. Just that and a quick reading with a few words. Short, sweet and on to the party!
Post # 4
My Fiance has requested that we don’t do any rituals or have any readings. He wants the ceremony to just include him and I (and the officient of course). He also feels that a ritual for us would be a bit forced. I had originally wanted a hand fastening but it’s not that important to me. Since he has been very vocal about this (and he’s not about much) we’re just having the ring ceremony.
Post # 5
Aren’t vows and ring exchanges rituals? I think they certainly are, and very powerful ones at that. I don’t think you need anything else at all, if it doesn’t speak to you!
We’re doing vows, ring exchange, the 7 Jewish Wedding Blessings, and a good number of readings–that’s it. But the readings all speak to me and my fiancee, and his brother (a recording artist-to-be) is playing a song. Whatever is special to you, I think…
Post # 6
Ours will be quite similar to UrbanLeo’s. We’re doing vows, ring exchange, the 7 Jewish wedding blessings, one reading, and the breaking of the glass. The only music between the processional and the recessional will be some waltz music during the signing of the ketubah, and a rousing chorus of Simen Tov after the breaking of the glass. No sand, stones, or candles will be used.
Post # 7
we did nothing but the exchange of vows and rings. no candle, sand, jumping the broom (african american tradition), hand binding, no readings, etc. we didnt write our own vows. its your wedding and your ceremony. dont feel pressured to do anything and dont feel the need to fulfill any long standing tradition unless it is meaningful to you.
Post # 8
We’re not doing anything other than traditional vows, ring exchange, and a couple readings. Anything else definitely felt contrived for us.
Post # 9
I’m not sure. Haven’t sat down and figured out everything, but we’re having a Catholic ceremony with no mass. Not sure If I’ll have readings or not. Fiance does not want to do the candle lighting, he is so vocal on that, he just really wants nothing to do with it. I really don’t care either way b/c it’s not of significance to me.
We’ll probably just repeat from the msgr., exchange rings and go party at the reception.
That being said, I want everyone to throw rose petals as we come down and I have two surprises- that I cannot repeat until AFTER the ceremony that I’m doing. Those are special things to me.
OH and we’re releasing doves- after the ceremony!
Post # 10
My fiance and I don’t want any rituals at our ceremony either. No candle lighting, sand mixing, readings, singing, anything. We just want to exchange rings, say our vows and move onto the reception.
Post # 11
We had a Catholic ceremony (not Mass) and at our church we were not allowed to add anything to the basic ceremony or write our own vows (including unity candles, sand ceremonies, etc…). So the only "ritual" things we did were the traditional vows and ring exchange. It made everything shorter, and we still got lots of compliments about how beautiful and moving the ceremony was.
If you can’t find anything that is really expressive of you and your relationshiop, don’t do one. The bonus of getting married legally beforehand or of having a nontraditional ceremony is that the whole thing can be just what you want. I actually think it’d be really beautiful and unique to only have vows and a couple readings.
Post # 12
I have never heard that you had to do a ritual!
I had never even seen a candle/sand/stone ceremony or heard about it until I started getting into find out about wedding stuff>
I thought the exchanging of the rings and vows was ritural enough.
I don’t want to do anything other than that. Thats what speaks to us, thats what we like. we would feel weird doing say a sand ritual. They’re beautiful yes, but not US.
Post # 13
The ritual thing has gotten out of hand. I’m a straight-up boring American… I don’t have any cultural ties to specific rituals (besides declaration of intent, vows, and exchange of rings), and to include them would feel forced to me. We may have some readings, but not for sure yet. We are planning to write things to say to one another, but only in addition to the traditional vows of the Methodist church. So no sand, no unity candles (we’r outdoors for Pete’s sake), no looking up some random Scandinavian tradition in honor of my ancestors who came over 5 generations ago. No borrowing traditions from the Native Americans. Just us, saying what we want to say to one another, and reciting the traditional vows of our church.
Okay, I do have one tradition that I really want to keep: In the tradition of the WASPs, drinking vodka in the early afternoon sounds dandy. (Bloody Marys anyone?)
Post # 14
We just had a "ceremony" with no ritual. There was a welcoming, a few works to thank everyone for coming and acknowledge that not everyone could, a short reading, our families stood up to say they supported the marriage, another reading, we exchanged personal vows, and then we did a ring exchange. The whole thing was probably 15 minutes. I loved it.
I like some "rituals" if it’s meaningful for the couple but if you can’t think of what you want, make your day special in another way!