Post # 1
Hi ladies. I would love your thoughts. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and have been living together in his house ( he purchased his first house last year) for about 6 months. We have met each others parents and his family have been calling me and texting me alot since he has gone to make sure I’m ok ( they’re great) he has been away for some time now and he will be back mid this yearish. ANYWAY – he rang the other day and said ” babe I want you to write me a letter with all of your goals, hopes dreams etc for the next year, 5 years until your old” this was an unusually sentimental request from him. Our relationship has been as solid as a rock. He already knows that I want to get married and have kids soon ( i speak about these things hypothetically) I don’t want to nag. So I’m wondering, do you think he is sizing me up because he wants to propose when he returns? Does that happen quite frequently? Any thoughts how I can mention marrige and kids to him in the letter without being put in vulnerable position. FYI he is writing one to me too ( a bolas dreams etc letter) but for all I know it could be about riding around australia and I would look like an idiot having a rant about my cluckiness. Lol. Thoughts please lovelies. Appreciate it. Xx
Post # 3
My Fiance proposed before I went overseas to my duty station. We’re both mil. Not exactly the same but that’s how it happend for us.
As far as the letter goes, I have no idea if he’s ‘sizing you up’ so to speak. He may just be curious. I don’t think you need to worry about being vulnerable. He asked to hear it, so you should tell him honestly in the letter what your goals, hopes, dreams are for the next year, few years, your life. Maybe he wants to see if you are on the same page/timeline or close to it. Don’t worry about looking like an idiot, haha. Just share with him like he asked you to. He may want to ride around Australia, but he may not want to do it alone, you know. 🙂 I think you might be pleasantly surprised with his letter.
Post # 4
I’m not a military bride, but my sister is. Her husband proposed shortly before he deployed to Iraq, and the got married three months after he got back (they pushed it up a lot because of housing logisitics and not being able to live together on post and all that jazz).
Like PP said, I have no idea what his intentions are with the letter, but be open and truthful. If your relationship is so solid, you can say anything, even if it’s “I see us having two kids and a house and a white picket fence in five years” or whatever it may be. I think he’d appreciate the desire to build a life together after he gets back.
On a side note, I hope he comes home soon and safe!
Post # 5
My fiancé proposed about 3 months after he got back from Afghanistan. But it had been planned for a long time. We had been together 7 years at that point and wanted to experience a deployment before marrying.
As far as the letter goes, it sounds like a good sign. Take it at face value though, don’t try to read too much more into it. Asking for that letter means he really wants to know what you want. probably so he can see if his goals match up. I wouldn’t expect a proposal right away, but I can’t imagine he’s not leaning that way.
Post # 6
I agree, though I have found it is common to get engaged on both sides of deployment, you two seem to be moving in the right dirrection. I would take the letter thing at face value and use it as a time to really sit down and analyze your self. What do you want with him, what would you want without him. are they the same? are you altering what you want for him (hopefully not) He might want to know that your futures are compatable.
This is kind of cute and funny to me becuase when my Fiance and I started getting really serious I showed him a list of things in my jourlal of all the things I wanted to accomplish in life with or without someone. I was suprised to find out that he had a similar list, and there were many similar things, we both wanted to travel, we both want to start businesses, we both want to live far away from anyone in a small little cabin. I hope you can find that your hopes and dreams will allign well too.
Post # 7
I’m not with a military man BUT I do want to say I got lost in youtube one day and started watching all of these military proposals. There are so many on youtube where the soldier got back and proposed right there in the airport after seeing his lady for the first time in months-year! Freakin cute. I couldn’t stop crying. I can only imagine going that long without seeing my man!
To your question though, be honest with him! You said your relationship is solid so I see no reason is letting him know that you want to be with him and have kids sometime in your future! 🙂 I think if he’s really looking to get a feel for what you want, tell him whatever that is! 🙂
Post # 8
Thank you girls. I agree with all of you. It’s hard not to read into things sometimes, selective perception gets me into a lot of trouble lol. Ill write him that letter and let him know that marrige and children are on my mind .. as you say, if our relationship is solid it shouldnt come as a massive surprise to him. Sincere thanks xx
Post # 9
Please let us know how it goes. 🙂