(Closed) How many over is safe to invite

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How many is it safe to invite over
    5 : (4 votes)
    5 %
    10 : (9 votes)
    10 %
    15 : (8 votes)
    9 %
    20 : (10 votes)
    11 %
    30 : (6 votes)
    7 %
    50 : (3 votes)
    3 %
    0 Not worth the risk at all. : (47 votes)
    53 %
    Other : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    328 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    the typical decline rate is 15%, so if you can only hold 150 in the chapel, that would mean you can invite about 20-25 extra people. the decline rate tends to go up when you invite more people, so if you’re at 200 people, your decline rate might be 20%.

    Post # 4
    Member
    210 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Our church can hold up to 500 people so we aen’t worried about numbers for the church sincce we only have 125 we planned on inviting, but since we have to have a minimum of 125 guest at the rcpetion or we will pay for the xtra plates, we have decided to invite 150-160 sinc the banquet room holds up to 160. I know my Fiance has at last 50 extra people he wanted to add to his list anyway 🙂

    Post # 5
    Member
    2874 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    i wouldnt go over 20 extra people – so 170 people!

    you could make it adults only, or to cut the list – you could say aunts and uncles but no cousins. fi will probably need to cut his list too!

    a lot of people WILL bring kids if theyre given the option in my opinion. you cant really have people invited to one part butnot the other so youre going to have to work out how to cut it somewhere

    Post # 6
    Member
    4194 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    10% regrets seem to be standard, although there have been bees on here with 95-100% yes returns. I agree that 170 is probably your max, so 20 over. You can cut kids, certain family tiers (cousins, second cousins, dates), and do a B-list if you need to.

    Post # 7
    Member
    735 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    It’s not a good idea to invite more guests than you can host – whether the limits are due to financial constraints or actual. physical venue restirctions.

    While it is common for brides to get some declines, it’s not really wise to plan on them when you’re figuring out how many extra people you can invite.  What happens if you invite 175, and 165 reply that they are delighted to attend – but you can only allow 150 in the church?  Do you call up 15 people and tell them “oops – we fibbed.  You can’t really come!” ? (And how do you pick which 15 to “blacklist”?)

    My guest list was 70.  I invited a few people who had already told me that they would not be able to travel (severe illness or out of the country) – but because they are so important to us, Darling Husband and I wanted them to know that they were invited and had the option to attend.  Of the other guests, only one couple delined. It might not be typical to get such high “yes” numbers, but it’s certainly not unheard of.

    I think you’re better off not relying on a large number of people sending regrets.  Go over the potential guest list again and see who might not need to be on there.

    Not that this particularly helps you at this point – but issues like this are why it’s a good idea to plan your general guest list before you pick a venue.  Since your date is so close, I don’t think it’s reasonable to suggest that you hold the ceremony at another location… so you’re stuck whittling down the guest list.  For other couples who are just getting started with planning, it’s useful to know the approximate number of people you’d like to invite before selecting a venue.

    Good luck, it sounds like you might be in for some tough decisions.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1676 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Seriously, don’t give yourself this stress. I accidentally invited 40 over (for a total of 240 invites) and wound up with 203 at the reception. Our hall only held 200 and it was obviously a bit squishy. I spent a couple of months in pure panic about what I would do if everyone could come. Not worth the stress.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1375 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’d advise against having reception only invites.  The reception is a thank you to guests for watching you get married.  Weddings are all or nothing events, so you really should invite your guests to all portions of your wedding.  Tell your mother to stop inviting, because you physically can’t accommodate more than 150, then cut the list.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2854 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @alishaloo:  My Fiance did the same thing. He said most of them wouldn’t show up but they needed to get an invitation. He might be right, most of them have a long distance to travel but I am a little concerned.

    Post # 16
    Member
    9552 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I was going to pick 0 but when I saw it was the ceremony that is limiting, I switched to 10. You can often squeeze in a few extra people at a church, or there’s standing room in the back, if it’s a short ceremony. But I would be more comfortable inviting the limit. If you talk to people before hand and know for sure they can’t come you could invite extras.

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