Post # 1
Not even a wedding- we’re just going to sign the papers. Originally, we planned on having bf’s friend from work and his wife come because they’re taking us out to eat after, and my friend so she can take some pictures. Then my bf’s dad invited himself because he’s so needy. Bf explained that we’re literally just signing papers… Him and I do not have a good relationship and just tolerate each other and I feel like him being there defeats the purpose of my friend being there and is one too many guests. Advice? I talked to bf and his dad is set on coming…
Post # 2
If you were “just signing papers” aka nothing of importance or value, why do you want pictures? And to go out to eat after?
You want those things because signing papers matters. And his father wants to witness it.
Invite him or don’t… up to y’all but I wouldn’t invite 3 other people then use the excuse that there are too many people.
Post # 3
bibliophilacticbee : we’re required to have two witnesses.
Post # 4
My best friend had a court house wedding and we filled the room. Probably 30 people. We all wanted to be there with her on her special day
Does your B F want his dad there? Shouldn’t he get a say in this, it is his dad after all.
Post # 5
desertgypsy : We’re not even having a ceremony though.
My boyfriend kind of has to just roll with what his dad wants. His dad is manipulative and always plays the victim to get what he wants. If he says no, his dad get so butthurt and makes the biggest deal about anything. I’m just upset because I know hes going to irritate me while he’s there and probably be late or something.
Post # 6
Literally four days ago you created a post calling it a “courthouse ceremony” and wanting to find an appropriate dress for it.
So make up your mind – it’s either meaningless paperwork or it isn’t. If it was just signing paperwork you would throw on whatever jeans and t-shirt is in your closet, grab courthouse employees or strangers off the street to be your witnesses (my cousin certainly did), and dispense with lunch and photos. And it wouldn’t bother you if he was there or was late because he wouldn’t actually be late for anything or he wouldn’t have even known because it’s just filing some paperwork. Did you tell him when you got your tabs or driver’s license renewed, too?
But it’s not, which is why you’re doing this. And his dad wants to see it. That doesn’t seem like an unreasonable request since you are making it more than just paperwork. If your fiance doesn’t want his dad there then he can be the one to decide and tell him. But otherwise stop finding ways to make this sound like less than what it is because you don’t like his dad – your SO needs to get a backbone and make it clear he isn’t welcome if he’s not welcome.
Post # 7
annabananabee : People like you are why I never ask for advice. You do not get to misinterpret my previous posts in order to make a point.
Post # 8
Emily Merten : “Originally, we planned on having bf’s friend from work and his wife come because they’re taking us out to eat after, and my friend so she can take some pictures.”
Very useful guests… Just give your Father-In-Law a task, and he will be as useful as your other “guests”.
Post # 9
Emily Merten : you’re not being unreasonable by not wanting someone there who you’ve got a problem with on one of the most significant days of your life; however, since it’s your SO’s parent, you’ve gotta let him decide on it without your influence.
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2019 - Beverly Hills, CA
We will probably have about 26ish people, including us and I don’t think that’s “too much” at all.
Post # 11
I do not like most of my husbands extended family and they don’t like me very much but they are his family and wanted to be there for him. It was his wedding just as much as mine (it was very small and casual) so I sucked it up for the day. It didn’t even cross my mind to try and prevent them for coming. I think you should just suck it up and let his dad be there. It will make life easier in the long run and there won’t be a stressful conflict leading up or after 🙂
Post # 12
Emily Merten : Honestly, I don’t see the problem with annabananabee‘s comment. It’s fairly simple: If you want a wedding, have a wedding; if you just want to treat it as paperwork, that’s also fine. If you don’t want the dad there, don’t tell him the date or location.
Post # 13
Saying 3 people are ok, but 4 aren’t is absurd. Clearly you just don’t want him there.
If your boyfriend wants his dad there, you should let it go. You don’t really get to make that decision, your boyfriend does.
Post # 14
Your bf’s dad wants to go because he is “needy”? No he wants to go because his son is getting married, is that really so hard to grasp?
It seems odd to make the cut off 3 people but 4 is too many.
I agree with the others that there is a contradiction in telling his dad he can’t come because it is just to sign the papers, but you want to take pictures and go out to eat to celebrate after. You are going to cause some long term problems in your marriage by trying to convince your partner to not invite his dad to the wedding.
Post # 15
This is a bigger deal than just signing papers. Your fiance knows it, his father knows it, you know it, everyone here on the Bee knows it.
But if you’re going to treat it as “just signing papers” – then his father just wanting to be there should hardly have any impact on the day.