Post # 1
My fiance and I are getting married June 2019. We haven’t sent out invitations yet, just save the dates, and a lot of people are responding to it saying they’re coming. Like texting us saying “RSVP yes for me” or RSVPing on our wedding website. This includes quite a few people I didn’t expect to come (like people traveling far etc) We have huge families and have an invite list of 200. I am PRAYING only 175 come due to the cost.
So can you guys calm me down a little? lol. How many didn’t show out of who you invited?
If they don’t show day of, you still pay for the plate, right?
Post # 2
elleleigh : Can you turn off the RSVP function on your website? Or are they just like commenting on the little guestbook section?
If anyone texts you I would just let them know “Glad you’ll be coming, the RSVP instructions will be on the invites, you should expect to see it around X date” or something along those lines.
I think we invited like 80 people and 1 officially RSVP’d no, like used my instructions and 4 text me to tell me they couldn’t come. We had 3 that just didn’t do shit, my husband’s father and grandparents… how sweet.
We didn’t do a plated dinner so unfortunately I can’t answer that for you, hoepfully your friends and family that RSVP yes don’t no show on you, that’s a dick move.
Post # 3
We invited 115 (though close to 10 were courtesy invites that we knew couldn’t attend) and 87 RSVP’d yes. We were surprised by a few of the people who we thought definitely would not come since it was a 4-5 hour drive for half of our guests. But a few people we assumed were definites had unexpected reasons why they couldn’t come so it kind of evened out.
It will vary venue to venue but for the most part you will pay for people who no-show or cancel very close to the day. We had one family (5 adult guests) cancel the day before the wedding so we asked the venue to see if there was a chance to take them off the bill. But since the food had already been ordered at that point, there wasn’t anything they could do. If we knew they couldn’t come earlier in the week they might have been able to not charge us for them even though we had already given them the final numbers.
Post # 4
20% of our guests declined once we sent out invites with formal RSVP cards. On average 15-20% decline! It’s awesome that a lot of your guests are definitely “saving” your date but although they might not purposely make conflicting plans, something could still come up between now and then so don’t trust RSVPs your getting now. Send your invites 3 months before your wedding with an RSVP card and you’ll get real responses then.
As far as paying for the plate goes, you turn in your numbers to your venue about 10-14 days before your wedding, and that’s the number of plates you’re paying for no matter how many show up. So don’t worry too much about the number right now because it won’t be accurate until closer too.
Post # 5
elleleigh : We invited around 160 and the total is 128. So about 15% decline. But I would say that EVERYONE on FIs side said yes and a lot of the declines were expected (eg from distant family).
Post # 6
Half of our invites didn’t attend. Admittedly we were quite far away so not unexpected. Most of them didn’t even rsvp. Only two played that whole “yay so excited, can’t wait!” crap on getting the save the dare and then didn’t respond or attend. Zero no-shows.
I think you’ll probably be fine on numbers no matter how excited people are now.
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre
Sorry that I can’t be much help here. We invited 350 guests and everyone showed up, we didn’t invite any friends or co workers strictly family.
Post # 8
We invited 200 and had about 160 attend. I did find that a lot of the “yes” rsvps came in right away and the “nos” straggled in and largely required me calling them so I wouldn’t freak out just yet that there is some initial excitement. Also, it’s SO early. Some people may be excited now but when it gets closer and you send invitations realize they can’t attend for whatever reason.
Post # 9
Scarlett11 : Agree with this. It’s too early to really tell. You won’t know until you send invites.
We invited around 160 and are having about 120.
Post # 10
Invited 75, 1 RSVP’d no.
1 forgot about the wedding.
1 date got sick and didn’t come.
1 couple broke up and they didn’t tell us they wouldn’t be there.
Post # 11
We invited about 115, only a few that RSVPd yes did not show (2 couples). We had about 15 decline and two people who were invited last minute that showed. It all evened out to us having 100 guests, which is what we’d paid for in advance. But I definitely would not go by people who RSVP with save the dates. It seems to be that it always gets down to the wire and then people are lagging with RSVPs for your deadline and deciding if they can make it.
Post # 12
Honestly, it depends on a variety of things – local wedding or destination, proximity of the guest list to the wedding, how close you are relationship-wise, etc. I’ve known people with invite lists of 20 and half declined. I’ve known people with guest lists of 300 and had 100% attendance (and that one was actually in the middle of a hurricane). And lots of people will use weddings as an excuse to see family and friends they get a chance to rarely see and will make the extra effort to attend, which is why you shouldn’t play guessing games as to whether you think certain people will attend or not and should never send a save the date or invite with the expectation that they will decline.
You should always plan for 100% attendance no matter what. So if you sent save the dates to 200 and your budget only covers 175, I’d start picking up some overtime or a part-time job to pick up some extra cash instead of praying for declines. Retail stores and shipping like UPS are just starting to hire for the holidays so this is a great time to try to make some extra.
Post # 13
annabananabee : Words of wisdom! I agree. Always invite what you can afford, and assume everyone comes, period!!
Post # 14
We invited 103 and 97 are coming, so agree with ppl to only invite the amount you’d want to come just in case!
Post # 15
We had 55 declines out of 356 invited