(Closed) How many people to invite…non traditional reception

posted 4 years ago in Reception
  • poll: Cut the list or invite everyone...
    Trim that list! : (7 votes)
    47 %
    Invite 'em all! : (2 votes)
    13 %
    Find a compromise : (6 votes)
    40 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    1206 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    If you don’t want 125 people at the wedding, trim your list down.  While it’s likely that not everyone will come, you need to be prepared for it.  I’d have a talk with your Fiance and come to a compromise somewhere in between each of your numbers.  If you don’t have the budget to accomodate over a certain amount you don’t want to invite the 125 hoping 75 will show up and then have 100 show up. 

    Post # 3
    Member
    1112 posts
    Bumble bee

    HiveFive:  I think you should throw the wedding you can afford. And you should be able to celebrate with all of your loved ones.

    I’d find a compromise with inviting everyone you both would like to, and having a “less fancy” wedding. Perhaps it’s a backyard BBQ instead of a sit-down restaurant dinner.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2134 posts
    Buzzing bee

    We are having 120 total. Just doing heavy hors d’oeuvres. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    743 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    We are in the exact same position! We discussed about 50, but now with every “It’d be nice to see them”, it would be around 140 people. We do NOT have the money for that, given as we’ve trimmed all the extraneous expenses we can. So, we are having to cut down our list from “It’d be nice to see these people” to “These are the most important.”   My fiance is NOT super happy about it, but I have a feeling when we look back after all is said and done, when we can say we spent the day with the people we love and cherish most, he won’t even remember didn’t invite that cousin he hasn’t seen since he was a child or the friends he had in JROTC 10 years ago, but hasn’t talked to since graduation.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by  sunfl0wergirl.
    Post # 9
    Member
    2805 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    Even if you are sure that 125 won’t show, you should still be comfortable with the price point in case they do. What if you swtiched the menu out and did cocktails and did heavy apps instead or did a very simple and cheap dinner option- like pasta and salad for everyone. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    743 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    HiveFive:  Good for you! Hopefully you guys can come to a reasonable compromise. 🙂 

    Post # 13
    Member
    743 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    HiveFive:   Is he willing to compromise at all? Maybe say outside of family, each of us will invite our top 10 most important people and a date of their choosing? If you don’t use all of your spaces, he can fill them in, but after that it’s done-zo?  🙁 

    Funny how they’re all about small and keeping a modest budget, but when you start reminding them of that small, budget friendly thing, it’s straight defense.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2181 posts
    Buzzing bee

    How does he feel about spending the money to invite all the people he wants to? I take it you are paying for this yourselves. Does he realize how much it will cost? Have you asked him about doing more limited food options or just a cake & punch reception insetead of a full sit down dinner? If he is insistent on inviting all the people he wants, he has to realize the outcome. It will mean spending more money. Or if he doesn’t want to spend more money, then both of you need to dicuss what you are comfortable with doing.

    And if he is comfortable spending the money, come up with a financial plan that will help you recoup what you’ve spent out of savings/or put on credit cards or however you are paying for it. If its what he really wants, then there has to be a way for it to happen. My situation was reversed, it was my first marriage and my Darling Husband second. I got really annoyed when he kept saying “that doesn’t matter” “Ive done that before” I hadnt and wanted my special day, OUR special day. Please try to respect your Fiance on this as well. 

    Also, I agree if you send out 125 invites on such short notice, there will probably be a lot of people who can’t make it. Though you can’t plan for that, you have to be prepared for all you invite to show up. 

    Just be honest with him about what the options are and you be willing to compromise to invitinig more people & spending more money. Its just money, you can make more of it and if its what he really wants isn’t it worth trying to find a way to make it happnen, instead of trying to find a way to make him want what you want? 

    Post # 15
    Member
    933 posts
    Busy bee

    As someone who comes from a large family (I have 74 first cousions on one side alone (not including spouses, etc.), I can relate with your Fiance in wanting to invite his family. For my large family because there are so many of us, weddings are one of the only times we all get together (its much too hard to do holidays). It is his first wedding, so if you can swing it, I think you should invite all his family if thats what he really wants. 

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