(Closed) How many people were ACTUALLY at your wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Beehive
Post # 16
Member
2000 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

My SO and I are going back and forth about this. I would like to invite 150 and hope for 125 or less. So would like to invite 125 and hope for close to 100. He feels like if you don’t talk to these people often they shouldn’t be invited. I feel like I have some college friends that are really important to me but live far away. When we get together we have a great time and I consider them sisters but we do not always talk that much…should they not be invited? anyways tagging in on this post hoping to get some advice from the other bee’s posts!

Post # 17
Member
1219 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We invited 60 and had 42 but most of our guests were overseas. We would have invited more of DHs enormous family if we weren’t so far away, we knew they wouldn’t be able to afford it. If we’d got married in his home country we could easily had ended up with a number in the hundreds. In his culture people invite everyone to a wedding, we were walking down the street once with Father-In-Law and he stopped to chat to a random neighbour who then invited all of us to his cousins child’s wedding currently taking place in his house!!

Post # 18
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

We have invited a little over 300. A lot of it thanks to my mom who thinks everyone I’ve ever met needs to be invited, plus we both have big families. Our venue only holds 250 so I’m praying we don’t go over that number. 300 to me is a large wedding, but it all depends on the person. I’ve gotten about half of my RSVP’s back, only 2 have been declining. We will see how the rest plays out.

Post # 19
Member
600 posts
Busy bee

forevervirgo:  We did the same, close friends and family. DH’s family is huge so we limited to people that are part of our regular life, not people we see every 2-3 years. Budget was the main reason, and yes it feels like I paid for 500 too haha

Post # 20
Member
618 posts
Busy bee

forevervirgo:  

I’m not sure how many we will actually have at our wedding, but I wanted to address your question about how you get 300-500 people – my answer is huge families! Our final number of people invited is 600, and I had to be picky – yes, picky – with who I invited. My mom is one of 13 and my dad is one of 12, and I have 95 first cousins. Most all of them have spouses/kids of their own. I’m pretty close to my parents friends and some of their cousins, so they were on the must invite list also. Then I have my own friends. I coudn’t invite any of my coworkers, and neither could my parents.  And my list was still about 350.

Then my FI’s family is kind of large also. His guest list was bigger than expected, especially since Future Mother-In-Law wanted to invite all her first cousins – she had more people on her list than mine, initially. She had to cut like 100-150 people to get the list where it is.

We are hoping to have around 500 actually come, which is fairly typical in my family/area.

Post # 21
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

We invited 120 knowing that about 25% couldn’t make it. We ended up having 90 including us, 45 from each side. 

Post # 22
Member
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Invited 75

Received 70 RSVPs

67 showed up

Post # 23
Member
429 posts
Helper bee

I wish I could have 87! Sounds like a good count to me. Our list is close to 200. Im hoping for 150 to confirm. A majority are actually close family and friends. We bought have large familes. Then there’s a few that are my parents close family friend, which I would prefer not to invite but I feel I should let them invite a few people. 

Post # 24
Member
353 posts
Helper bee

forevervirgo: Definitely depends on the culture/traditions/experience of who you’re talking to. My parents had 18 people at their wedding (themselves included!) so to them 50 guests would be big. My in-laws on the other hand had close to 300, so 150 would be small to them. 

In my experience it seems like 100 is kind of the magic number. Below 100 is moderate or small, and over 100 is medium or big. But if you’re talking to someone in a culture with typically large families (Indian, Italian, etc) I think 200 is more the cutoff for small vs. large. 

Post # 25
Member
5373 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

We invited 65, 60 people RSVPd yes, and about 55 showed up 🙂

Post # 26
Member
622 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Good timing with this thread! We are trying to figure this out too. Our perfect number would be 75. After having our parents help with the guest list, we have 111. 42 of them would need to fly. Since this is a reception only (ceremony is private and in Mexico), we’re thinking that maybe half of the out-of-towners will come, but that still puts us at 90. If some of the local people can’t come, it will be around 80-85. I can’t decide if we should cut our invite list down to 100 or just invite all 111 and see what happens.

Post # 27
Member
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

To put it simply, we invited 85 people, 79 confirmed and 77 people attended.

We invited our family until first cousins and our best friends.  My mum brought a friend as her date, DH’s parents belong to a super close knit group of friends (who have known Darling Husband his entire life), so we included them.

Of the 2 people who RSVP’d and didn’t show, one was a very apologetic uncle who had something come up (and sent a very generous cash gift) and the other wasn’t shocking at all.  It was the date of a friend of DH’s.  From early on, the friend kept being wishy washy with us about whether or not her date could come and being the frugal guy he is, Darling Husband was straight-up with her.  He explained that if he doesn’t show, we’d still be forced to pay for him to be there.  She assured us that she understood (she is the most irresponsible person we know, so we doubted it).  I contacted her on the day I had to give final #’s and she told us he was coming.  Sure enough, he showed up basically to drive her home.  He could have done that without being included in our numbers!  Ah well, c’est la vie.

I say, more pick you are with the people you invite, the more likely they’ll all actually attend!

 

Post # 28
Member
1430 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Two! Fiance and me!

Post # 29
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

forevervirgo:  We also got married in the Bay Area, and we had 100 guests. Most of them were family, a few were family friends, but also our parents contributed towards our wedding.

We invited 192 people and thought we’d have a much higher turnout, but more than half of them lived across the country, and some of my side opted not to make the under two hour drive from my hometown. But no worries, all the most important people (~40) were there, and we received many generous gifts 🙂

Post # 30
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee

Invited 130, expected 100, had 65 actually attend. Most of our friends are in the navy at flight school and they shut down their leave requests since it was a 3 day holiday weekend already (wedding was a friday). We invited everyone who WE wanted to be there and did no guilty “because we should” extended family/aquaintance/coworker invites. It sucked our friends couldn’t be there but I’m glad we stuck to our guns and kept it small!

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