Post # 1
I still have a long way to go, but with friends asking who I will invite to the delivery room really got me thinking about the whole process.
And the fact is, I want as few people as possible. My husband, a dr., and a nurse! In reality, how many people should I expect?
At this point, I’m still feeling incredibly modest and I’m very private about my body. I would prefer, and would feel 100% more comfortable, with my husband being the only male in the room. Is that a reasonable request that I can make?
I absolutely do not want any on-lookers– no students! And I want limited cervical checks and not by randoms popping in and out.
How was you birth? Did you feel well respected, or were you overwhelmed by all the people that you didnt recognize in and out of the room? I don’t want anxiety to kick in while laboring due to the people.
If you work L&D, are these requests normal? 🙂
Post # 3
I had a c-section so just my partner, and the like 5-6 person surgical team.
But my SIL had her baby and There was her husband, her mom, our SIL, and I. Almost her BIL (who is my FI), and my 3 year old! but they stepped out to get chocolate milk and missed the whole thing. (lol..I wish I had they made me take the “head” pictures.)
She invited other realatives too but it went by too fast, we were just visiting during her contractions because she was bored and called us all, then BAM! it happend in like 20mins. I almost fainted. They wouldn’t let me leave when it started to happen.
ETA: There was one doctor and two nurses also.
Post # 4
@tampalove35: I only want Darling Husband and medical peeps in the room when baby is born (midwife, nurse, doctor) but NO friends or family will be allowed. We aren’t even planning on telling anyone we are in labor. We want to make the call after she is born & we are both okay. Both sides of the family live close enough to the hospital that we can call when we are ready for visitors and they can be there w/in the hour. I feel like i’ll need peace & quiet to labor & don’t want anyone (besides DH) “hanging out” with me while I work my labor, i think it will be distracting. Also if Darling Husband has to deal with people in the waiting room and has to divide his time between me & giving them updates that’s really going to annoy me plus make me feel anxious since everyone will be “waiting on me.”
Post # 5
4, besides my husband. My doctor, my nurse, and 2 pediatric people. But to be honest, I had to just ask my husband now because at the time my mind was elsewhere!
Post # 6
If you deliver at a teaching hospital, there will probably be a resident and an attending doctor, your labor nurse, and at least one nurse to take care of the baby. If it’s a community hospital, you won’t have a resident obviously, but you may have a midwife or someone else working with the doctor. It’s also possible that you won’t have a separate nurse for the baby, but conversely if something’s wrong, you may get a whole team of people for the baby, or an extra nurse or tech to help get supplies for you. Unfortunately it can feel like a lot of people milling in and out, though they try to be respectful of modesty, but you can be comforted by the fact that everyone is keeping the safety of you and the baby in mind, and sometimes having extra staff can be a huge help. Plus, you’ll be hanging out with these people throughout your labor, so by the time you deliver they probably won’t feel like strangers anymore.
Post # 7
Also, if something’s amiss (like a fetal heart rate drop), then a million people may run into the room. Which is overwhelming, but again take comfort in the fact that everyone’s responding to you and your baby. And you really won’t care about modesty if something like that happens. In general, L&D staff are very respectful of modesty, but in an emergency it’s just not a top priority (nor would you want it to be).
Post # 8
Besides my husband, it was my nurse, pediactric nurse and my doctor in the room for delivery. My doctor wasn’t even there the whole time, she was in and out. I wouldn’t have cared if there were a million people in the room at that point because I was so focused on getting the baby out. While I was in labor (over 24 hours), the only people in my room besides family were the nurse on duty who was assigned to me and my doctor. Honestly, I loved having the nurses in my room because they were amazing and helped keep me calm and sane.
Post # 9
@tampalove35: It varied. I had C-sections (the first two after a long labour) and there were 4 or 5 I think for the actual operation? Several were male. At least one time a male student was there for a fair part of the labour. (Normal for public hospitals in Australia). My labour went over several shifts so (at a guess) 10 people saw me at different times (for each birth).
Everyone was 100% professional. Normally I am very modest, but I had zero problem with this, so long as it was no one I knew personally. Students need to learn somehow. By letting the student observe some of my labour, I was helping other women.
Absolutely no relatives or friends except my husband though.
Post # 10
Our first child was almost 7 weeks premature so there were a lot of medical professionals at the birth.
Honestly, it did not matter how many of them there were. The only thing that mattered was the safe delivery of our son, his subsequent neonatal care as well as my own care.
As for family and friends, there was no one except my husband and me. We had just created our family… we wanted that time to bond together… just the three of us.
I had said, throughout my pregnancies… if I ever have to see you over a dining table, you won’t be in the delivery room and if you weren’t at the conception, you won’t be at the birth
Our wishes were respected and there were no hurt feelings.
Post # 11
i dont think you cna request no male medical staff as itll depend who is on call (nursing staff, guy that does epidural etc)
you can request no students/superfluous people in there though
Post # 12
@tampalove35: I gave birth at a teaching hospital, so in addition to my ob and nurse, there was an ob in training, a nurse in training, and a pediatric team. My husband said at one point he counted 14 people. The people in the room were my least concern and focus and I didn’t even think twice about them! In the moment I didn’t care about modesty (which I walkways thought I would)!
Post # 13
You won’t even notice the people. It was myself, Darling Husband, my OB, a nurse, and I think I remember random blurs of people. I had my DSS and Mother-In-Law outside. I hardly remember my Darling Husband being there other than me tell him I didn’t want to do “this” anymore. The whole last hour of labor is a total blur.
Seriously all you are thinking about is breathing, the next contraction, and that a baby is coming out of you.
Post # 14
@tampalove35: Read this read this read this! 1000 comments about some crazy stuff that has gone down! Has some good tips and it is very entertaining.
Post # 15
@tampalove35: I recall there being 3 or 4 people- a nurse, nurse in training, and I think 1 or 2 doctors? I was totally fine with everyone being there- it was so painful that I just wanted the whole process over with as quickly as possible!
Post # 16
My Darling Husband and the doctor and nurses thats it