(Closed) How many pictures of you must we endure? (kidding…sort of)

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 46
Member
298 posts
Helper bee

I have a friend that sends me photo cards for a lot of things!  New Year’s, Chinese New Year’s, V-day, St Patrick’s Day, 4th of July, Halloween, Christmas … I’m probably missing a few.  BUT I LOVE IT!  I love seeing her and her kids changing and growing and how they dressed up for that picture.  It’s way better than getting junk mail or a bill.  I wish I had the energy to make and send cards that often but I only do it for Christmas.

I don’t feel she’s being narcissistic at all, in fact I think she’s being thoughtful for taking the time to address it and mail it to me.  She’s thinking about me and wants to share these moments of her life personally to me.  She could have just posted it on Facebook and called it a day but she took time to sit… put the pictures in envelopes… put my address on it… put a stamp on it… and put in a mailbox.  That’s a lot of work!  I for one appreciate the effort.

Post # 47
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee

Not the same situation but similar…

Our friend group is late 20’s, and this last Christmas we all got Christmas cards from one of the couples that IS NOT EVEN ENGAGED. I didn’t know that was a thing…? And none of our friends thought it was a thing, either. We all side-eyed it… especially because it wasn’t Christmas-themed at all. It was just various pictures of the two of them hiking or posing with the guy’s dog, and it said, “Merry Christmas” at the top.

I thought only married people/families send Christmas cards? Anyway, it felt like something she had pushed him into doing. And it come off as narcissistic in this age of facebook, where we’d already seen these images of them online. It was very bizarre.

As for the “heart check,” no one here is being mean. Some people are more over the top than others. Some people are more self-centered than others, and that’s ok. We all know those people. My own SO is vain as hell and I think it’s hilarious and call him out on it constantly. Doesn’t mean I don’t love him. 

Post # 48
Member
882 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Ehh it’s not my style but I think nothing negative of the people I know who do this.  Honestly you’re being pretty judgemental and not terribley friendly.

Post # 49
Member
936 posts
Busy bee

I personally would never send that many photos to people, but I feel like you’re being a bit judgmental.  She is happy and not hurting anyone.  Plus, be happy that she wants to share these moments with you.  I assume she thinks you’re happy to see her happy.

Post # 50
Member
2109 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I would get semi-annoyed but just chunk them and laugh about it with Darling Husband. There isn’t anything you can do, unfortunately.

I had a Facebook friend who posted a couple new photos from her wedding roughly every other day for a full year- until their first anniversary. She had something like 8 different wedding albums (broken up like “Getting Ready!” “Our first look!” “Our venue!”) with a total of over 2000 pictures. Photographer pictures, cell phone pictures, some had pictures that were also in other wedding albums. She also tagged everyone involved with the wedding in each picture every time she uploaded them regardless of who was actually in the picture.

She guaranteed she was at the top of my newsfeed in some wedding-related way almost every day for a full year. No clue if she stopped because I finally unfriended her shortly after her anniversary. I can only imagine how many pictures she sent out to people she was close with.

Post # 51
Member
6875 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

jmasp :  I’m with you OP. This sounds ridiculous to me. Although I’m also not a picture postcard kind of person in the first place so…

Post # 52
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I have a friend that granted does not send me the photos but facebooks the photos she had two sets of engagement photos the wedding photos and three seasons of what look like engagement style couple photos taken after the wedding all professionally done and up within 6 months and every photo taken was shared 100’s of photos it’s a lot of photos, it’s a little different I wouldn’t personally share all of the photos or pay a professional that many times within six months but I guess she’s happy

 

Post # 54
Member
3875 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

jmasp :  I was guilty of posting a large wedding album on Facebook, but aside from that and my profile pic (which stayed wedding related for almost a year simply because I rarely change that or even pay attention to it). However, that was kind of it. 

The fiance of one of my Facebook friends posted after she got her engagement photos back that she was going to “share one a day until the big day.” The big day was over a year away. And boy oh boy, did she ever keep her promise. Every single day she posted a new photo with a sappy quote. After the fifth day, I simply hid said person from my Timeline and didn’t think much of it until I saw this thread. Went on to check and yup–she’s been steady posting photos (once a day) for a year. They get married in a couple of months, but I have a feeling it’s going to be a lot of wedding shots until they get pregnant.

In my opinion, people show their joy in different ways. And when it comes to engagement/wedding pics, it’s very rare that you get professional pictures taken of yourself. (Hopefully) you look on effing point, your hair and makeup is professionally done, there are professional retouches happening, etc. I think it’s natural that you want to share those photos. Hell, I’d gladly trade fifty of the fuzzy selfies I took in my friend’s bathroom in 2011 for one of the styled shots from my wedding. So, yes, while I would find it a little eye-roll worthy after the third time, I would just ignore it. However, if you tell this person how obnoxious you actually find it, I have a pretty good feeling you won’t be getting anymore announcements any time soon πŸ˜‰

Post # 56
Member
7369 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Welp with this last social media generation, I don’t think its going to get any better. 

Post # 58
Member
882 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

jmasp :  Fair enough lol!  You’re right and I shouldn’t have said the judgemental part so I apologize ☺️.  

Post # 60
Member
5816 posts
Bee Keeper

jmasp :  I tend to view these in 3 categories 1. kids/ grandkids et al- love these, send me a thousand πŸ™‚  2. narcissistic look-how-photogenically-in-love we are and 3. puzzling…as in I don’t know you that well, why are you inundating me with these? (2 and 3 can overlap)

If some people think this is judgey of me….lol well go ahead ’cause I’m gonna be judgey :p In fact I’m side-eyeing #2 pretty hard. Because I see this a lot on FB…..not those who post announcements or even wedding albums etc, but those who fill up my news feed with their endless shmoopiness.

There was one woman (not that young either, forty-ish, so it’s not just the yoots doing it) who posted about 15 photos for Valentine’s, regurgitated engagement photos she’s already posted, photos of all the Valentine gifts she got, obligatory sunset silhouette pics with icky captions like “This Is Us” and “Our Love Story”. And I’m gonna be judgey on this because underneath my crusty old judgey-AF exterior is a compassion and sensitiviity that wonders how all of this show-boating (yeah, you heard me :p ) makes those who are alone &/ or unhappy feel just a little bit worse and my heart goes out to THEM. 

Now I’m not begrudging her happiness, I’m happy her and her fiance (both divorced as were Darling Husband and I) have found someone to love again. And no sour grapes because I’m happily married to a great guy. But I think that much over-the-top excessiveness rubs it in everyone else’s faces and, if I was considering posting endless couples pics of Darling Husband and I and pics of our presents to each other, I would be very aware of the smugness involved in doing so and how I was hoping to bask in the envy of others at the expense of their own feelings. 

Nona99 :  “Packet A” πŸ™‚  Your post literally made me laugh out loud 

 

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