How many pre wedding events are too many?

posted 2 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
Member
7555 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

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classicbridalbliss :  that seems over the top to me but I’m in UK so we don’t tend to do any more than stag/hen. I personally wouldn’t want to give my friends and family wedding burnout before the big day but you do whatever you want. It’s your wedding. 

Post # 3
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

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classicbridalbliss :  You have to ask – what is the point of it?

Is there a reason to do it, or do you just want another party for yourself?

Post # 4
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

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classicbridalbliss :  

For me the answer is any more than 1! But so far your events are reasonable. Adding a random lunch seems quite unnecessary….. sorry….

 

Post # 6
Member
854 posts
Busy bee

Have you thought about honoring them after the wedding – maybe taking them out to a nice lunch? That’s my plan (but I only had two bridesmaids and they’re my sisters). 

Post # 7
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

In the UK we generally give thank you gifts during the reception. Is that not a thing in the US? Honestly, a hen do is enough. I wouldn’t attend multiple events. 

Post # 8
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

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amongclouds :  I was going to suggest that. A low key lunch after the wedding (and  honeymoon if you are going straight after) sounds great. 

Post # 9
Member
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: London, UK

If you want to do something special for your bridesmaids but don’t want people to get burnout prior, could you do a brunch after the wedding? It’s quite common in the UK for there to be a breakfast/brunch the morning after, especially if people are staying in or near the venue. 

Post # 10
Member
4798 posts
Honey bee

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EllyAnne :  Gift giving (to the wedding party) is typically done at the rehearsal dinner or while getting ready the morning of in the U.S.

OP, honestly that feels a like a lot.  They’ve already given up three separate days to celebrate you and your upcoming wedding and you’re not even married yet.  You could see what they think, but I would only entertain the idea if I were you if you are NOT having a rehearsal dinner.  If you are doing a rehearsal, the purpose of the rehearsal dinner is to thank your rehearsal participants for taking the time out of their schedule to participate in your wedding and rehearsal.  Just give them the gifts then.

If you aren’t having a rehearsal, then do it the morning of as you’re getting ready.

Post # 11
Member
716 posts
Busy bee

I think what you’ve got going on currently is pretty standard. I don’t see a need for multiple showed and parties (ex. A couple I know had a stock the bar party then an engagement party then their bachelor(ettes) now she’s having a shower). I wouldn’t have a bridal luncheon a few weeks before- that’s way too much to ask. If you absolutely want to have one, I would do it the day before the wedding. But, that means people have to take off work unless you’re having a Sunday wedding. So, keep that in mind. 

Post # 12
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I’m a bridesmaid in an upcoming wedding. This bride had an engagement party,  3 (!) bridal showers, and 2 bachelorette parties, one of which required traveling 3 states away. The other was still an hour away. It was way too much in my opinion. I think all that’s left is the rehearsal dinner and the wedding. However, I wouldn’t be surprised if she is also doing the day after brunch.

Post # 13
Member
957 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

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classicbridalbliss :  what you have is enough. For  me when people have more than that, by the time the wedding arrives, I just don’t care anymore, or am so relieved that it’s really finally here and can’t wait for it to be done.

Are your bridesmaids doing dress shopping and other wedding activities with you? That adds to it too.

Give them the gift of free time. There are so many opportunities to give them physical gifts, give them a day off.

Post # 14
Member
13782 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Involving the same group of people, the traditional etiquette answer in the US is that any more than one pre-wedding is considered excessive. Two or more showers thrown by different friends is OK. A luncheon for your bridesmaids is in honor of them, not you, and does not count. Common as they are, bachelorettes are not approved or recognized as a pre-wedding event at all.

That said, I would not agree to anything that may impose on people to fly in for anything other than the wedding itself. I’d call it a day after this number of events in any case. It’s a lot. 

Post # 15
Member
1467 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

It’s way too much. You’ve already gone above what is normal for my area/circles. They’re going to say yes out of obligation by that doesn’t mean you should do it. 

Last time I was a bridesmaid the bride gave us our gifts the morning of the wedding while we were getting ready. 

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