How many pre wedding events are too many?

posted 2 years ago in Parties
Post # 16
6299 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’d cut if off where you are. Like someone else mentioned, at this point they’ve already given up 3 days for you (that’s assuming your bachelorette was only one night). They’re also going to have to be available for your rehearsal and wedding – which is 2 more days. Did they go dress shopping? That was probably at 1-2 days for wedding/bridesmaids dresses. So you’re looking at your bridesmaids having already potentially given a week to your wedding. 

These days most of my brides (I’m a wedding photog) give their girls gifts either at the rehsearsal dinner the night before or on the day of the wedding. 

Post # 17
631 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

Any more than 1 is too much for me, but I know that the norm is probably a bachelorette party and a bridal shower.

Post # 18
756 posts
Busy bee

When I’m invited to numerous pre-wedding events I tend to just choose a few and not go to the others, it seems more and more weddings are falling into this category. 

But easier said than done if you’re in the actual bridal party, I think we’re going to end up seeing more and more people decline being in a wedding party because they worry about the financial strain and time commitment. I think sadly this will be part of the fallout of pre-wedding events getting out of hand. 

Post # 19
1483 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I think that is a great idea to honor bridesmaids, what we did is we had our peeps over the morning of our wedding, and had breakfast, mimosa’s and gifts prior to hair and makeup. We only had 1 person each, but we wanted to honor our mom’s as well so they were there too, however we didn’t have all the pre-events either. I think something like this would be appropriate since they will be with you on your wedding day already, or I would wait until after the wedding. =)

Post # 20
162 posts
Blushing bee

That’s too much IMO. Are you getting ready together on the day of the wedding? Give them their gifts then. 

Post # 22
753 posts
Busy bee

If you’re paying for it and don’t expect gifts then I don’t see the big deal imo. Personally I’d love a free lunch but I guess that’s just me.

Just please don’t have someone else pay for it (especially your wedding party). Maybe parents if they offer.

Post # 23
8409 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
classicbridalbliss :  Are you also having a rehearsal and rehearsal dinner? Did you bring your bridesmaids to try on dresses? Those count too. I’m in the midwest and usually you thank your party and parents either privately or at the rehearsal dinner. A “bridal luncheon” would be way overkill in my opinion. Honor your loved ones by not making them come to another party about you.

Post # 24
1010 posts
Bumble bee

I think it depends a bit more on the logistics – like are your bridesmaid local and all generally get along? If you’re buying a lunch for your girlfriends that no one’s travelling more than say….45 minutes to get to and they get gifts, go for it, but if it’s more of a burden then a gift then I’d skip it. It’s to honor THEM, not you. 

Also, you could possibly do this 1-2 days before the wedding, maybe even treat your bridesmaids to a manicure or something


Edit: I forgot but I’ve been to one of these! I was a bridesmaid in a wedding where the bride was from TX and the wedding was down there. The luncheon was a hosted lunch at the bride’s grandma’s house on the thursday before the wedding. I really enjoyed it – I was down for the wedding anyway and it was nice. Most of the other bridesmaids were my friends so it was like…basically what we’d be doing anyway. If I wasn’t able to make it though it wouldn’t have been a big deal, which I think is key.

I also had an engagement party, bachelorette party, and bridal shower. Only one of my bridesmaids came with me to do a dress/shopping thing (she is local, we went to the shop to get her bridesmaids dress, my veil, and we got dinner – we’re obviously close friends so…not really an event), we all got our nails done before the rehearsal dinner (optional, I was just like “hey I’m getting a manicure here at this time if anyone wants to come!”)

Post # 25
4776 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
cherryberrypie :  I know I’ve already given my answer in this thread, but I really want to cosign the gift free time. 

People lead busy lives.  Having another “event” where I need to have lunch with people I may or may not otherwise socialize with depending on who all is in the wedding party just for the sake of “honoring” me feels less like an honor and more like an obligation.  Work it into an existing event and honor me by writing a really heartfelt thank you card and picking a thoughtful personalized thank you gift based on what you know I like instead of a generic one size fits all or bridesmaid themed gift.  Taking the time to personally show appreciation without it being a wedding-themed event I have to fit into my schedule is always going to be more meaningful to me.

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