(Closed) How many years apart should your kids be?

posted 12 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
5280 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

I am five years older than my sister and we never fought. i thought it was the perfect time frame.  my son is now 8 (9 in april) and m’s daughter is 8 (9 in feb) and his son just turned six.  I think if I had a baby now it would be insane yet fun and exciting because it would be OUR baby and would complete our family… But then the other side things are you nuts!! in 9 years the 8s will be graduated from high school… do i really want to start this over again… btw, my son doesn’t want me to have a little one.  his dad has two other kids and he says mom i already have a brother and a sister, i don’t need anything else.. Undecided


Post # 4
1028 posts
Bumble bee

My kids are about 2 years apart and I think that is a good age difference.  I think 3 years apart is probably ideal.  IMO, the further apart they are, the less they have in common (i.e. a 5 y.o. and a 10 y.o. won’t EVER want to do the same things).  This is such a personal decision though, whatever you decide it will be right for your family.

Post # 6
1297 posts
Bumble bee

My brother and I are 15 months apart, and I hated it growing up. I was a nanny for kids that were 4 years apart, and they were so sweet to each other (and just really sweet in general). And yeah, they’re in completely different phases, but I think that will be better down the line.  Who wants to pay for two kids in college at the same time?

Post # 7
178 posts
Blushing bee

Coming from someone that is 7 years older then my sibling, i would NOT suggest it. We have never been able to have a close relationship, by the time he was born i was 7 so i was out playing til dark and he was a baby. Then by the time i was moving out of the house he was only a 6th grader. Now he is a freshmen in high school and we really struggle to even have anything to talk about, which is really sad. I’ve tried hard to form that relationship but it just hasn’t happened yet . . .
Oh, and about fighting we never fought growing up and still have not. But i would rather have that silly sibling fighting then what i have now.

Post # 8
749 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

My brother is about five years younger than me and we almost never fought. He was old enough to play with and I was old enough to take care of him. We didn’t have a competitive problem because I was obviously older so therefore obviously taller, faster, etc. 

Post # 9
1139 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

One sister is 18 months younger and the other is 5 years younger.  Surprisingly, I’ve always had more in common with my youngest sister and my middle sister and I fought more growing up.  I don’t think there’s really any magical time frame.  Things will happen the way they happen – there are too many factors at play.  I’m much more likely to base the decision on diapers, etc.  I really don’t think I want two in diapers at the same time!

Post # 10
1268 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m having a hard time deciding between 5 and 2ish years.  My sister and I are 5 years apart but my brother and my sister are 18 months apart- My sister and I get along rather well but my brother and sister do not- but I think that might be because of my sisters strong personality.  

Post # 11
3060 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

My sister and I are 4 years apart.  We had some rivalry in the teen years, but now we are very close!

Post # 12
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

it really depends…me and my sister are 4 years apart and it’s always been great for us, and hubby and his sister are 7 years apart (we’re both the older of two) and we have great relationships, but it depends on the actual kids…

Post # 13
3856 posts
Honey bee

It’s a matter of temperament and how you raise your kids WAY more than age spacing. My brother and I are only 20 months apart, but we never fought. We’re not close either though – as a kid, he just wanted to be left alone and play by himself (he’s still not very social). That’s just how he is/was.

I have cousins (4 girls) who have an overall range of 14 years between them, and they all get along great, I think largely because their mom instilled a really strong value for family in them, so even though they all have big personalities, they have each others’ backs and respect each other unconditionally.

On the other hand, I know plenty of people who grew up a few years apart and fought like cats and dogs, and plenty who were years apart and still fought.

My mom is 10 years older than her youngest sister, and she resents her to this day, because all through high school she could never go out with her friends – every weekend she had to stay in to watch the baby. My dad is 10 years older than his youngest sister, and he loves her dearly and is super protective of her. She’s almost more like my sister than my aunt 🙂 in some ways.

Post # 14
8375 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

My brother and I were 18 months apart. My mom said she wanted us as close in age as possible so that when we got older (past our teens anyways) we would be close (like her family was). It worked out, really–we got closer as we got older. I think we’ll be having our first in the next 2 years and there will be about a 2.5 year break between the next one while I finish PA school (hopefully, lol). If we have a third we’ll probably crank that one out asap cuz i’ll be in my later 20’s by then. I don’t want them too far apart

Post # 15
1476 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

My sister and I are 7 years apart and are not close at all, and never have been. I was a kid when she was a teenager, and she was gone when I was one… I have no idea if we would have been closer had we been closer in age, or if it was just because.

Post # 16
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Me and my sisters are each 4-5 years apart…Im 20 and my youngest sister is 7…im the oldest of 4. If you’re going to have more than 2 kids I wouldn’t recommend spacing them out so much. We fight constantly and will probably never be close.,.we are just at different stages in our lives. But my mom and her sister and my dad and his sister are both 8 years apart and they get along great but theres only 2 of them.

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