(Closed) How much am I spending on them? OMG Vent

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1733 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Sorry you have to deal with this! I haven’t experiencedany drama yet Knock on wood!

Post # 4
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

Yess… I can empathize with you.  I think bridesmaids and drama just come hand in hand.  I’ve written two recent stories about some of the stuff that’s been going on.

FI’s cousin really wanted to be in the wedding, so I asked her to be and explained to her that her dress would be around $100.  She said that was fine.  Flash forward to last week, Future Mother-In-Law ended up having to buy her dress.  No kidding!  It was only $49 (thank goodness for DB sales!), but she had to have Future Mother-In-Law pay for it.  Last night she went out to a nice dinner and got a new tattoo.  So, I see where her priorities lie.

My other Bridesmaid or Best Man is FI’s sister.  She is completely disengaged from everyone.  Her only concern is her boyfriend.  So, I can already tell it’s gonna be hell getting her to get a dress!

Surprisingly, my 19 year old sister (MOH), who I thought would be the worst, has ended up being the best.  She has paid for her own dress and is really happy for me/not being a pain my ass.

Post # 5
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

“Geeze I am only sending them $300 plus paying for their hair and makeup to be done for wedding, buying their jewelry for wedding, and their clutch bouquet as well.”

The only thing that you can really complain about is the dresses. I agree that it sucks they couldn’t come through. Bridesmaid financial problems are no fun. As for everything else, those are your responsibilities as the bride. If you’re requiring that they have their hair and makeup done then you should cover it. If you want them to wear matching jewelry, you should provide it. And the bouquet or bouquet alternative is not for the bridesmaid, it’s for the bride. Even if they get to keep the clutch, you chose to have that option for them to carry. If you really think about it, you’re only spending as much as you’re requiring. The dresses, sure, I’ll give you that but you pretty much lost me on everything else.

Post # 7
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

hugs. i know how it is.. 5 bridesmaids 5 different stages in life all are local but its hard. two dresses i paid the entire total,3 i paid half, get everyone $55 jewerly sets made and they want me to pay for hair and make up. i still need to buy flower girl dress for my daughter..


 two of them wanted a hotel because they dont want to drive 45 minutes at 6 am on a saturday…

Post # 9
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

i told them i will not pay for their hotel. fiance and i are paying for hotels for the out of town groomsmen– one is flying from florida and one is flying in from texas.. i seriously was flabbergasted the the 16year and 22 year even suggested i get them a hotel room. its 45 minute drive in moderate traffic i doubt there will be traffic at 6 am on saturday.. 

Post # 10
11 posts

I have been a bridesmaid 8 times. Two times for destination weddings in Florida.  It was really hard.  Even if you are buying the dresses, they will have to pay for tickets to Florida, food, etc.  It cost me about $1000 as a bridesmaid for each destination wedding I have attended, plus taking time out of my PTO bank at work.  Even if you buy the dress, and your family is putting them up it can be extremely expensive for a Bridesmaid.  If it is important that they be there for a wedding you planned far away, you should pay for the dress, makeup, hair etc.  I agree they should say thank you.  Even though the day is about you just realize that often being a bridesmaid can be a huge financial burden. It is very nice you are putting them up and paying for thier dress.  They may just be frustrated about the expense of a destination wedding, and may be avoiding talking about it.

Post # 11
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Hey, I have five – oh my – sometimes I wish I would have kept it to 3.  Oh well, they are our friends – we love them everyday, even the days we don’t always like them

Post # 12
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

My wedding is a month away and none of my bridesmaids have bought their dresses either.

And they shouldn’t be thanking you to pay for their dresses. YOU should be thanking them for being gracious enough to be bridesmaids.

Post # 13
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Ahhh, I totally understand. I’m sorry– they should have been very thankful to you for the $300! I had three bridesmaids also and bought all of their dresses. I kept trying to get into contact with one of them and didn’t hear anything back until the week before the wedding (“Umm…is it still on?” yes! that’s why I’ve been calling/emailing you! argh!). No shower, no bachelorette (I know I’m not entitled to these things, but it did make me sad), and one left my reception right after dinner (at like 6:30) without saying anything to me. Of the three, only one has responded to me in the time since the wedding (almost 2 years). As PPs have said, bridesmaids=drama!

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