(Closed) How Much Are Your Bridesmaid's Spending to be in Your Wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: How Much Are Your Bridesmaid's Spending to be in Your Wedding?
    None! I payed for everything : (19 votes)
    12 %
    $100 or less : (27 votes)
    18 %
    $250 or less : (48 votes)
    31 %
    $450 or less : (30 votes)
    20 %
    $650 or less : (14 votes)
    9 %
    $850 or less : (5 votes)
    3 %
    $1000 + : (10 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 32
    Member
    400 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    View original reply
    @Meant2Bee:  That’s good. Three of them are very reasonable. It’s just the one, and I’m sure she’s being this way because she’s my sister, I can’t imagine her doing this to anyone else. At least I hope not.

    Post # 33
    Member
    470 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I gave my bridesmaids a choice on what they wanted to pay for, so I don’t have a set number on what they’re paying. I have four bridesmaids.

    I bought their dresses and faux fur wraps to wear the day-of. They had to pay for their alterations – the most expensive alterations were $150 (she is large on top and tiny on the bottom, so her dress was sized for her bust). I’m not dictating what shoes or jewelry they wear. I let them choose if they wanted to get their hair and makeup done, and 3 of the 4 chose to do so. Makeup is $50 (including false eyelashes) and hair is $65, plus $20 tip. I’m not sure how much they paid for my bridal shower (which was a potluck) or my stagette (I think every guest at the stagette pitched money to cover my cost). 

    My Maid/Matron of Honor and I are going to Vegas in a few weeks with two other friends, but I also would’ve been fine with not going. Everyone is paying for themselves. 

    I’m not sure what I’m getting for gifts. 

    I want to say with the exception of my Maid/Matron of Honor, for wedding related costs, each girl is paying $300-500.

    Post # 34
    Member
    1063 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Estimates only:

    Dresses: we’re still looking, but the girls seem to like the Ann Taylor dresses ($160 on sale).  I’m field testing the $70 Target ones as well, and if they aren’t terrible, I’m fine with them picking a mix based on their budget.

    Shoes/jewelry: whatever they have, don’t care.

    Makeup/hair: I’m paying

    Hotel: We’re doing a domestic destination/hometown wedding, but we’re so spread out that everyone is travelling.  Rooms are $180/night but have enough beds for 6, so accomodations range from moderately expensive to really cheap.

    Flights: This I feel terrible about.  2 of them are planning on driving from CA to Seattle, so that’s not terrible.  One is flying from Texas, one from DC, and one from Paris (sorry!!!!).  But then again, I would hope that they would come even if they weren’t in the wedding.  I made sure my friend from Paris was planning on coming before I asked her to be in the wedding party, since I didn’t want to make her feel extra obligated.

    Parties: No shower.  My MoH is planning the bachelorette party before the wedding so that nobody has to do extra travel.  I’ve requested that it be inexpensive.

    So, the costs would be really reasonable if they weren’t out of town.  

    Post # 35
    Member
    1098 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I insisted that all my bridesmaids had to do was buy the dress I picked and show up sober so strictly speaking the only things they had to spend money on was the dress which was $124.

    My Maid/Matron of Honor threw me a combination bridal shower/bachelorette but we got comped bottle service at the club so no one really spent money except for the snacks at the shower. As far as dressing up for the wedding, I know they all bought new shoes for the wedding and one Bridesmaid or Best Man got her hair done but all of that was stuff they wanted to do and not anything that was required so I have no idea what was spent.

    Post # 36
    Member
    753 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    After being roped into spending over $2k on my MOH’s wedding ($300 dress +, $500 for the hotel, plus gift, shoes, bach party, shower…), I am not letting my BMs go through that.  They wont be spending more than $500 on my wedding – my mentality is: they’re giving up a lot of time and $$ for me, I should be considerate of them.

    Post # 37
    Member
    7199 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @Meant2Bee:  Basically, whatever they want. I’m giving them a color and telling them to wear a dress in that color. They can wear whatever shoes they want. They are all adult women who can do their own hair and makeup just fine. I’ll provide flowers or something for them to carry, plus breakfast while we get ready. One girl will have to fly in and need a room, but she will most likely bunk up with other people she knows who are also flying in. So… it could range from $0 (for my Maid/Matron of Honor who already has a grey dress and lives within driving distance) to $700 (for my maid who has to fly in, possibly pay for a hotel and maybe for a dress). But really, even the more expensive options would probably be the same if she were just a guest. She’d most likely buy a new dress regardless and would have to get there and house herself. Other than taking a short walk down an aisle, I’m not asking her to do anything different than she would as a guest. 

    Post # 38
    Member
    7308 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    Matron of Honor’s expenses

    Dress, alterations, shoes, jewelry, hair, make-up $0

    Hotel $0

    Gas and tolls $50

    Shower $0

    Bachelorette $75

     

    Man of Honor’s Expenses

    Everything $0 (He’s our kid!)

     

    Best man’s Expenses

    Gas and tolls $30

    Attire $0

    Hotel $0

    Bachelor party $100

    Post # 39
    Member
    116 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Our bridesmaids are buying their dresses, I think they are $120, they can whatever silver shoes they want and I am paying for their hair and their bouquets. I’ll probably get some champagne and brunch for everyone while we get ready. If they want makeup, it’s $40. I have no idea what they have planned for a shower or bachelorette. One of my BMs is flying from California, but like PPs said, she would be doing that as a guest anyways.

    Post # 40
    Member
    1007 posts
    Bumble bee

    My bridesmaids are spending nothing.  Well, we may do a potluck dinner or something for the bachelorette, so I suppose they’ll spend money on ingredients for that, but no more than what they would spend on any of our regular girly get-togethers.

    Post # 41
    Member
    1051 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    The dress was $300, but I paid for half of it; they got to pick out their own shoes and accessories; DH’s cousin did their hair and makeup for free; the bachelorette party wasn’t too expensive but I don’t know exactly how much was spent on it.

    My wedding was in my hometown — which was also the hometown for my Bridesmaid or Best Man, so they all stayed with family and didn’t have to pay hotel costs.  If I factor in the cost of gas and my gifts, I’m guessing right around $300 or so.

    Post # 42
    Member
    1092 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I said under $100 because we aren’t paying for their hotels rooms the night of the wedding. We are paying for their dress/shoes/hair/makeup. We had a wedding shower and they didn’t have to pay for any of that and we aren’t doing bachelor/bachelorette parties. I also got them gifts to ask them to be my bridesmaids and will likely get them gifts for the day of.

    Post # 43
    Member
    546 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    Ummm less than $200? We’re young-mid twenties and I was conscious of budget constraints.  They paid for their dress, which was $100. Didn’t require alterations but they covered it if they wanted to take it in. It was a department store dress. They wore their own shoes only one purchased for the wedding. I paid for their hair and makeup, nails and wedding jewelry. Wedding was local, no travel expenses. And we just did a local dinner and went downtown for drinks for my bachelorette so maybe 50-75 there.  

    It just depends on your friend group finances/age. As long as you’re appropriate about it I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer.  

    Post # 44
    Member
    2052 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    This is a tough question.  My bridesmaids aren’t paying a lot more than if they were regular wedding guests or just good friends.

    Bachelorette Party (A lot of my friends were invited, not just the bridesmaids)

    Airfare – $300

    Hotel – $0 (I paid for with hotel points)

    Dinner/Drinks – $100 each? I’m not sure

    Lingerie Party – $25 (My Maid/Matron of Honor organized this)

    Wedding Shower

    Shower Itself – $0 (my mom paid for, even though the bridesmaids ‘hosted’)

    Shower Gift – varied ($50?)

    Travel to Shower – $100? They stayed at my house

    Wedding

    Bridesmaid Dress – $150 (inc. taxes) (black long dress that I think is rewearable to a formal occassion)

    Alterations – $40? I’m not sure what they paid, but they all needed to get hemmed

    Shoes / Jewelry – $0 I told them they could wear whatever

    Hair/Makeup/Nails- $0 (I paid for)

    Hotels – $250 a night, so $500 total (it was NYC during college graduation weekend, and that’s actually considered pretty reasonable.  They did have an option to stay at a hotel that was $165 a night, or to stay with me on Friday night to cut expenses)

    Travel – Train to NYC, probably about $100 – $150

    Wedding Gift – $150 (very very generous even though I told them they didn’t have to get gifts!)

     

    So they spent A LOT!!! But they only thing that was extra for them being a bridesmaid was the dress.  My non-bridesmaids girlfriends still did the bachelorette, shower, and still came to the wedding.  My friends have dispersed throughout the U.S. since college, so travelling for weddings is very common.

     

     

    Post # 45
    Member
    569 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Meant2Bee:  We believe that the bride and groom should cover most of the costs of being in the bridal party so most of their expenses would have been the same even if they were guests. I understand that it is the custom, but I find it strange to make my BMs pay for a dress/shoes/jewellery of my choosing to wear in my wedding!

    Dress: We covered it.

    Hair, Make up: We covered it.

    Jewellery:  We covered it.

    Shoes: I specified a colour, they could wear any pair they wanted. <$100 if they bought new shoes.

    Bridal shower: Didn’t want one. 

    Bridal party gift to Bride: Didn’t know this was a thing…some gave individual gifts.

    Bachelorette: Only 3 of my 5 girls live near enough, but it was fairly low key. Maybe $50 each?

    Accomodation: It was a domestic Destination Wedding in the US, and we covered one night for each of them. Their costs for the long weekend ended up about $100-300 each, depending on how long they stayed and if they shared a room.

    Travel: This one is tricky. Some drove and carpooled so ~$50? in gas money. One had to fly across the country (~$500) and one had to cross an ocean (~$1800…yes…best friend in the world, literally! 🙂

     

     

    Post # 46
    Member
    2959 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I bought their dressesat $40 a piece. They are doing their own hair and make-up and wearing shoes they already own.

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