- 4 years ago
I am really feeling down about my current relationship status and I have no idea what to do.
background: We have been together for 4 years (first SERIOUS/LONG TERM relationship for both of us), started dating at 19 now we’re 23( I know y’all can add I just wanted to make it easier LOL), everything has been great until we moved into her parents house to save money while we both attend grad school. I don’t like living at her parents house at all, it’s super small and I have gotten used to having my own space (can’t wait to start the house hunting process). But we just can’t afford it. Don’t get me wrong, they are wonderful people who really respect our privacy, but I’m still not a fan of living with parental units after not having lived with one since I was 18. But it has been really nice not working and focusing on school (got a 3.6 this last quarter). Some bee’s would say just move out, but it really isn’t that easy I swear-if it was, I would be out of here!!! lol
I moved to LA for her partiallly, but for the school also. Her friends/family are in LA, and my friends/family are in NorCal, so I don’t get to see them at all so she thinks I’m really lonely and tries to get me out of the house, but I’ve told her that “I’m a homebody” not lonely. But she wants to spend more time with me, while I think we spend way too much time together. (ex: her family’s holiday party- I usually went while visiting her parents to be respectful but now that I live with her parents, I don’t wanna go to anymore holiday parties because they last forever and we’re not even having fun and I usually just sit in a room until the party ends). She got mad that I didn’t want to go but the kicker is, no one wanted to go so in my head, I’m like THEN WHY ARE YOU GOING! Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with her, but the reason why I think we spend too much time together is because we have lived together for the past 3 years of our relationship and we’re each others best friends so we’re literally always together.
For the past couple weeks my SO and I have been bickering non-stop over really stupid things and each time it makes me more and more upset. The most recent arguments aren’t serious at all (and our arguments have never been really serious, usually last about an hour then we get over it), but we argued over the dog (she had decided to buy a dog with our self-conscience/lonely roommate at the time, and then sprung the dog on me after I got back from a work trip. Now we don’t live with the roommate anymore, the dog is ours, I have a love/hate relationship with the dog and I’m resentful of her for making a decision like this without me- she knows about it though ) or her problem of spilling on herself while eating and I said that “at 24, you should know where your mouth is” she got really mad and called me “rude and an asshole” which I thought was a little ridiculous. and we’re currently fighting about this now.
I love this girl, and I plan on proposing on vday, but I can’t help but think “has this relationship run it’s course?” Maybe the main argument factor is living in such small quarters? But if anyone has advice on this situation, I will gladly take it!