I told them to buy any purple dress (any shade of purple they like) that is tea length or shorter, so they decided their dress budget. Most of them seem to have used this as an excuse to buy a fun dress and spent between $50-$80, but they could have spent $5 at the thrift shop and that would have been fine too.
There’s no shower, and no special bachelorette party, but we are doing a joint AFTER wedding party (travel timing issues) that I expect them to go to. Again, they choose their budget. The base charge for the party is about $15 or so, but if they want to get extra food and drinks at the place where we’re having it, they’re welcome to spend more.
We’re DIYing hair and makeup, so again… up to them what they want to do.
The only absolute fixed cost I demanded was that I wanted the shoes to be the one matching thing, and those cost about $70. They’re cool, rewearable, comfortable shoes, so mostly everyone was down with that. The one Bridesmaid or Best Man who privately said it was a little too pricey for her to be comfortable with, I just bought her the shoes because while I wouldn’t totally mind her wearing something else-but-similar (as she offered to do) I didn’t want her to feel left out due to money.
There’s also travel costs, but not much I can do about those, sadly. Everyone’s pretty scattered, so no matter what city I picked, nearly everyone would be traveling. I picked a fairly central place where most of them have friends and family they can opt to crash with if they don’t want a hotel. (Not on purpose, it just happens to be near where most of my bridesmaids grew up.)
If I were a bridesmaid of mine on a fairly tight budget, I might end up spending $120-$150, but the sky is kind of the limit beyond that, since they could opt to buy a more expensive dress, spend more on food and drink at the party, get a hotel, etc. etc. But they don’t have to.