(Closed) How much direction are you giving guests Re: Attire?

posted 7 years ago in Reception
  • poll: How much direction are you giving guests Re: Attire?

    None, they can wear whatever they want

    Not stated on the invite, but the invite should give them a clear idea

    Stated on the invite, kept it under 3 words

    Details are on an invitation insert card

    Details are on our wedding website

  • Post # 32
    5373 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I didn’t give my guests any direction. I assume that they can dress themselves and I don’t really care what they wear. It’s a wedding not a fashion show aha. We’re not having a super fancy wedding though so…


    Post # 33
    9184 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    View original reply
    @CurlyCue:  I honestly did not care what guests wore to our wedding. What I cared about was that they took the time to come and support our wedding. We had guests in clothing that ranged from suits to jeans. It did not chnage the important thing of the day- my husband and I getting married.

    Post # 34
    523 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2013 - Callanwolde Fine Arts Center

    I added some information on the FAQ page of our website. Mostly, I wanted to inform my guests that the cermony would be taking place outside on the lawn, so they might want to be careful with their heel selection.

    What should I wear?
    There’s no need to break out long gowns or tails, but as long as you’re comfortable we’d be delighted if you arrived in cocktail attire.

    What kind of shoes should/shouldn’t I wear?
    The ceremony will take place outside on the lawn, so shoes with pointy heels may sink into the ground. The reception will be inside the house.

    Post # 35
    9541 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Personally, we didn’t list anything on the invitations. But we had a casual backyard wedding so it seemed like people weren’t sure what to wear and I got lots of questions so I put the following on the website:

    ETA: I did go to a rehearsal dinner once where they asked everyone to wear pink. They had extra pink attire (sunglasses, boas, fake ties) for people who didn’t wear pink. But they weren’t militant about it. I think I wore a pink skirt and my date wore a pink shirt. It was kind of fun. But if I didn’t have a pink skirt I probably would have just not worried about it

    Post # 36
    6107 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    View original reply
    @CurlyCue:  I already commented but are you really telling people they can only wear 3 colors? That’s what it looks like. If that’s the case, people are going to have to buy special clothes just for your shower if they don’t already have a dress in those colors. You can always have someone spread the word that the shower is dressy or casual without it coming across as controlling. However, there is no way to not sound controlling when you’re picking out what colors they can wear.

    Post # 37
    13905 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    None – as adults, I trust my guests to be able to dress themselves appropriately for formal occasions.  The formality of the invitation suggests appropriate attire, as does the fact that I had an evening wedding.   All of the men showed up in suits and ties, and the ladies in cocktail dresses or floor length gowns.  I had no issues.

    Post # 38
    1245 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @CurlyCue:  I voted “not stated on invite but invite should give guests a clear idea.” Only reason I say this and not the first option is that our wedding was outside on grass. I know if our invite or wedding website had not casually mentioned the outdoors factor, a lot of gals would have been uncomfortable in sinking high heels. But a directed attire statement was not needed. Whether by wording or overall tone/format/level of formality, I think invites themselves already do a fine job of indicating to guests what to expect from the wedding. 

    Beyond helpful tips like that (no one likes a ruined pair of heels!), I am very anti-attire directions. People are grownups and will either figure it out for themselves or ask for guidance (and if someone wearing jeans ruins a wedding, I feel like maybe a priority shift is in order, lol).

    That invite you posted is ridic! Wedding guests are not photo props!

    Post # 39
    198 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: ...

    @CurlyCue:  We put one line about attire on our website, but only because my friends and I constantly worry that we’re not going to be dressed appropriately for something and we spend hours going back and forth about what we’re each wearing, especially if the invitation isn’t super clear. Our website just says that semi-formal attire is requested – something nice, but comfortable enough to dance in! That being said, we really don’t care what people wear and I would hate for them to think we were asking them what to wear – if someone shows up in a ball gown or in jeans, we’re going to be happy that they’re there and not worried about their outfit. 

    Post # 41
    9799 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I would say no direction, unless it is Black Tie (not optional though) then state that.  I could also see it being okay to suggest comfy shoes/clothing depending on your venue.  I would put that on the website though.

    Post # 45
    11735 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    We put Black Tie on the bottom in very fine print. To me, that is the only acceptable time to dictate wardrobe (or if it’s white tie). 

    ETA – the vast majority of our guests wore tuxes. There were a few dark suits. One person wore black pants with a heinous striped shirt and no tie/jacket.  I couldn’t tell you who were suits (nor do I care) but I won’t forget who wore that ugly shirt haha.

    Post # 46
    6516 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    View original reply
    @CurlyCue:  if you are going to a wedding that starts in the day and ends at night, you can either wear a light color or a dark color. you can’t go wrong either way.

    I have a wedding I am going to in April, it starts at 11:30am and I believe goes until about 5ish, I am wearing a blush colored dress.


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