(Closed) How much direction are you giving guests Re: Attire?

posted 6 years ago in Reception
  • poll: How much direction are you giving guests Re: Attire?
    None, they can wear whatever they want : (96 votes)
    52 %
    Not stated on the invite, but the invite should give them a clear idea : (45 votes)
    24 %
    Stated on the invite, kept it under 3 words : (14 votes)
    8 %
    Details are on an invitation insert card : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Details are on our wedding website : (29 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 77
    Member
    6015 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I suppose if it was going to be in a formal location I would say “Formal attire requested”  and if it were a BBQ I’d have said “casual attire” Other than that…. i figure these people are either adults and manage to dress themselves everyday without my help.  Or they are the children of those adults and someone will figure out clothes for them.  

    I do have to say tho, if I had to buy something to fit into some color theme my gift may not cover my plate :D.  

    Post # 78
    Member
    1210 posts
    Bumble bee

    @CurlyCue:  I don’t care what my guests wear. I’m assuming most of them will have attended a wedding before and understand whats appropriate, but if they show up wearing jeans, I really don’t care. They are the ones who will look out of place.

    Post # 79
    Member
    766 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @CurlyCue:  Any length of dress would be fine with me. I just have strong feelings about my guests not wearing jeans. I wouldn’t want someone to have to go and buy something new just to attend my wedding (with the exception of the bridesmaids, but I’m keeping the cost of their dresses quite low). 

     

    Post # 80
    Member
    5894 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I tried to go with none as I think that adults should know how to dress appropriately for events based on their location.  

    However, I got tons of questions from the groom’s side, so I put a statement on the website that indicated the suggested dress was “Beach Chic” (which apparently is appropriate for a beach Destination Wedding in Mexico).  As you might imagine, that cleared up exactly nothing since then I just got a ton of questions about what that meant.

    In the end, it seemed best to just answer people’s questions individually.

    Post # 81
    Member
    1723 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN

    @CurlyCue:  Oh it was so much fun! The little girls had the greatest time.

    Post # 82
    Member
    966 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @CurlyCue:  I don’t really know, I just googled “dress codes” and found that one lol. I guess it’s like “suggested dressy”, cocktail dresses etc.

    Post # 83
    Member
    966 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @CurlyCue:  but regardless of the dress code, I feel that it’s considerate of your guests to indicate it. I see people posting the sentiment of “if they dress inappropriately they will look out of place, not me”. That’s not the type of hostess I would want to be. I would rather attempt to keep everyone informed and comfortable, not have them feel out of place because they assumed incorrectly. I certainly wouldn’t mean it to be “controlling”.

    Post # 84
    Member
    2523 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I think the locations (church wedding and formal reception) and the fanciness of the invites are enough.  Black tie isn’t requires, but jeans would be frowned upon.  However, I’m certainly not going to tell grown adults what to wear, just give them enough information so they can make their own judgement  

    Post # 85
    Member
    561 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    there has always been direction on every invite I’ve recieved.  I put it on the wedding website and plan to put on the card as well.  “black tie optional”.  It is an evening wedding in spring and I *do* want men wearing suits or at least khakis and a sportscoat.  I just think it looks nice.  Most women just want to know if they can wear short/long dresses, and this says “both are acceptable”.  

     

    i always want to know the wedding style – so I am doing this because I want to know.  I have called asking for help when attire instructions don’t make sense.  My brother’s was “formal attire” and I had no idea if that was black tie or black tie optional.  turns out it was black tie optional. 🙂

    Post # 86
    Member
    727 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @CurlyCue:  Unless it’s black time I don;t think it’s necessary.. I’ve heard of weddings where people are asked to wear certain colors. So weird. 

    Technically my wedding fit the criteria for a Black Tie wedding but I was content to dress the part myself (in my wedding dress!) and provide the setting. Guests could wear whatever they wanted. I actually had some (crazy) family members call others and lecture them about how my wedding was going to be fancy so to make sure  they wore “long dresses.” When these people called me I made sure to tell them that yes, it would be kinda fancy but that I was more concerned about making sure that everyone had what they needed to have a good time and that part of that was fr  them to be comfortable wearing whatever they want

    My little brother (jokingly?) said he was going to wear a pink suit, a halloween costume, a white suit, a blue velvet jacket —and he was serious of all these but one…  My response: Those are all fine but the white suit –I’m the bride! haha

    Post # 87
    Member
    25 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I put it on my website. It’s a destination wedding and It’s starting at 6PM. I would like people to be in casual dressy. That being said I know some of my people and tehy very well may show up in jeans… no. I also know some of my other people that would take it as an opportunity to wear a gown bigger than mine… no. I just stated cocktail attire. I didnt want men to think they need to wear a full 5 piece suit or even a tie but I’d like them to wear a noce pair of slacks and a button down.  I look at it more as a direction not a mandate.

    My brother got married and the cow didnt let me be a brides maid and then asked everyone in the family to wear solid pastel colors. I wore a bright multicolored dress. I was very offended that she wanted to dictate my attire. If you want to dictate my attire then i get to be in the wedding otherwise STFU.

    Post # 88
    Member
    757 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

    @ijstarr:  

    I put it on my website. It’s a destination wedding and It’s starting at 6PM. I would like people to be in casual dressy. That being said I know some of my people and tehy very well may show up in jeans… no. I also know some of my other people that would take it as an opportunity to wear a gown bigger than mine… no. I just stated cocktail attire. I didnt want men to think they need to wear a full 5 piece suit or even a tie but I’d like them to wear a noce pair of slacks and a button down.  I look at it more as a direction not a mandate.

    My brother got married and the cow didnt let me be a brides maid and then asked everyone in the family to wear solid pastel colors. I wore a bright multicolored dress. I was very offended that she wanted to dictate my attire. If you want to dictate my attire then i get to be in the wedding otherwise STFU.

    This is the problem.  As a guest, I am now confused about your wedding.  Casual dressy and cocktail attire are not the same thing.  Cocktail attire and a nice pair of slacks with a button down are not the same thing…

    If I read this correctly, you got mad that your brother dictated attire and you therefore wore something completely opposite (because it sounds like you were offended).  So, you then at your own wedding dictate what people wear?

    Post # 89
    Member
    1710 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    We didn’t give guests any instructions on what to wear. All of the men who came to our wedding wore a dress shirt & dress pants/shoes, some wore a tie some didn’t, some wore a suit jacket some didn’t. The women wore dresses, skirt & blouse, or dress pants and a nice top.

     

    I would be weirded out a bit if the bride & groom gave me instructions on what I’m supposed to wear! Generally people know how to dress for a wedding.

     

    Post # 90
    Member
    2295 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I voted that details were on our website, but they weren’t details like “you must wear black tie, cocktail dresses, etc.  It was mostly that our ceremony would be outside so dress accordingly…

    Post # 91
    Member
    1597 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    None at all – I trust that people know how to dress for a wedding. There was one 21-ish something kid there wearing black Dickies and a camoflouge hat, but I just laughed when I saw it.

    If someone would have told  me he planned to wear that prior to the wedding, I would have been a bit perturbed, but honestly there are so many more important things happening that day.

    It really does not matter what people wear.

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