(Closed) How much do other's opinions matter to you?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
894 posts
Busy bee

I sometimes feel like it does matter to me to some extent, but i realised that it mostly affects me when I somewhat agree with them. When someone has an opinion that is very different than mine I usually won’t give a damn 

Post # 3
Member
4055 posts
Honey bee

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heyitsnicolelee:  the older I get, the less I care about other people’s opinions of me or the way I live my life. I feel that I am a good person, I stand up for what I think is right, and I refuse to let the opinions of others change the way I feel about myself. 

Post # 4
Member
300 posts
Helper bee

I care to a certain extent.  For example, my grandmother would probably marry me off to anybody lol she just wants to see her great grandkids.  So if she DISLIKES a man, that would strongly skew my own thoughts.  If my best friend disliked my boyfriend, I would definitely consider the reasons why and then form my own opinion about it.  I believe that my closest girlfriends are very intelligent and have my best interest at heart, so yes their opinions weigh heavily on me.  I think you have to draw the line somewhere though, I always ask the same 3 women for relationship advice because they have very healthy and fulfilling relationships of their own.

Post # 5
Member
3882 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I absolutely care about my family and friends opinions. I may not agree with their opinions or assessments, but I do value them because these are people I trust to have my best interest at heart. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t be in my life.

That said, I have to make my own decisions about my life, good or bad. I stand by every choice that I make, but I recognize and accept the fact that I can’t make them like or support my choice.

Post # 6
Member
4233 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

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heyitsnicolelee:  If my mother, grandmother, or a close friend had reservations about my husband while we were dating, that would have affected me. I’ve grown to realize and appreciate that my mom’s intuition is always right, so if something tips their radar then it’s probably a real issue. They welcomed my husband into the family with open arms and I’m so fortunate that we’re one big, happy family. That’s priceless to me, and I’m not sure I’d be happy with the strained relationships that would result from my family not having good feelings toward my boyfriend/fiance/husband. 

Post # 7
Member
888 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I don’t care what most people think of most things, but I have always cared about how my family feels about my SO’s. They know be better than anyone, so they’d be able to give a good objective opinion of any guy I was with. It’s also important that they mesh well with my family. My ex, the one I dated before I met DH, failed this test miserably. We had dated for 2 years, and I was already having second thoughts about him anyway. Then I finally saw him in a setting with all 3 of my brothers at the same time. The way he interacted with my brothers was a big eye-opener, and the final nail in the coffin. He just didn’t “get” our family, and that’s not the kind of person I want to commit my life to.

My DH does great with my family 🙂

Post # 8
Member
364 posts
Helper bee

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heyitsnicolelee:  I mean, it depends. If this friend is just saying she doesn’t like my fi because we got in a bad fight And she thinks i should be done with him, then I would just tell Sally to take a chill pill. BUT, if she was upset with him because he abused me in any way (verbally, emotionally, physically, etc), insulted my parents or was equally disrespectful to my friend and we got back together or something- well then yeah, I would be embarrassed and care what my family and friends thought about this.

i probably wouldn’t marry him either, so it just depends on the extremity Of the case

Post # 9
Member
4239 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

If a friend — especially a close friend — did not care for my significant other, that would hands-down affect me.  Not because I can’t think for myself because obviously I can, but because if a close family member or friend sees something that I can’t/don’t see, I need to listen to them.  They want the best for me, and they want me to be happy.  So if they see I’m not as happy as I think I am, I will listen to them.

When we are in love we are blinded by love.  It is hard to think clearly when you are in love with someone.  I knew deep down that my ex was not the right one for me, but it took me breaking up with him and my friends later to tell me that they did not care for him or how he treated me, that made me realize that I did not have a healthy relationship with him.

Post # 10
Member
94 posts
Worker bee

I guess it very much depends. What my family thinks matters a lot. 

In terms of friends, it matters what their objections are. One friend told me my Fiance (then my new BF) wasn’t good looking and is boring (he’s shy). I don’t care about good looking and entertaning. I care about kind, loving, emotionally and career-wise stable. So I didn’t care, she can go date hot guys, I’m not asking her to date mine.

Post # 11
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee

Now that I am north of 35 I realized I dont give a shit what most people think.  🙂 I’m not mean about things but really I dont go out of my way to be PC. If you dont like me I dont know what to tell you. If you are pissing  me off I’ll let you know. If I find that you are a horrible person full of drama I distance myself from you.

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