(Closed) How much do you expect from your SO on your birthday?

posted 8 years ago in Holidays
Post # 3
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I wouldn’t have expected anything, since holding up expectations only leads to disappointment. Besides, your evening sounds like it was incredible, and that memory is pretty damn awesome.

Post # 4
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

Nope, that sounds like an event gift. We’ve become event gift over tangible gift people too, it’s a lot of fun for both the giver and the receiver.  If it helps, yesterday was my husband’s birthday and I treated him to a formal fancy dinner as well, instead of following up with a sauna, I gifted him a voucher for a flight lesson so I am on board with your gift!

Post # 5
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Nope.

I prefer to be “gifted” an experience like the one you describe.  Memories last a lot longer and are ultimately more satisfying than objects.

Post # 6
Member
5262 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

Wow, what a wonderful night! We give gifts in a very similar way… they’re usually not material things anymore, but time together or a night to be spoiled in ways like dinner out, an activity we love, etc. One year he made me a cake, which I really appreciated since I am the “birthday cake baker” in the family. 

Post # 7
Member
4354 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Would never expect anything else, maybe she was wondering if he’d possibly gotten you a ring?

Post # 8
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Dinner is usually expected, but the spa counts as the “gift.” I think dinner and spa is a great birthday present, especially from a guy. They tend to not value nice dinners and spas as much as us girls do!

My Fiance and I are actually very low-key when it comes to gift-giving. We are not struggling to pay bills, but we know extravagant presents aren’t what’s important. Plus, we’d rather spend the money for a house, our honeymoon, and the wedding!

Post # 9
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

That sounds like a great gift to me!  Maybe it’s just because we’re poor college students, but the most I *expect* from Fiance on any holiday or birthday is a thoughtful note in a card or on some stationery.  Anything else is awesome, but I really couldn’t care less, as long as I got something meaningful from him.

Post # 10
Member
1555 posts
Bumble bee

No. I would have considered the evening to be a great gift and experience. You got to spend an incredible night with him that you normally don’t do or get to do. That would make it an amazing birthday.

Post # 11
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

I think that sounds like a great bday present! My SO had a similar day planned for mine and I LOVED it! Not better present than a day of surprises spent with your loved one.  

We love to give “experiences” as presents. I took him and some friends tailgating and to a football for his bday last year (I did buy the grill and his mom the tickets, and my mom the booze and food).

Post # 12
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think this all just depends on the couple as well as the individual.  FI and I tend to be very extravagant gift givers so yes, personally I would have expected a tangible gift in addition to the dinner and sauna.  However, I really really REALLY love to receive tangible gifts, (it’s one of my languages of love), no matter how small so to me a birthday present is not as special unless I can wear it or use it later on and think about the occasion when I received it.  On the other hand, I don’t think there is anything wrong with activity gifts if that is what the couple/individual values and prefers.

Post # 13
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m used to dinner-and-a-gift.  The spa part would be the gift in my mind.  I made him his favorite foods (and made hot apple cider for him), plus gave him a giant stuffed tiger.  Considering that NONE of his family even bothered to call, he was glad someone did something.  (My mom sent him a gift card for a dinner out.  She felt she had to justify such an impersonal gift.)

I expect my guy to hang out with my dad and grandpa for an afternoon while my mom, grandma, and I go do girly stuff.  I expect him to nice to them at dinner.  I expect him to go out with us on my actual birthday.  I would hope he gives me some form of gift, be it flowers, a book I already own, something relating to a mutual interest (I can always hope) or jewelry (he was asking whether I like black pearls, which is the ONLY reason I’d think that.)  

Post # 14
Member
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My Birthday is pretty close to Hanukkah and Christmas so I get one big present usually  and dinner out since I celebrate Hanukkah and he celebrates Christmas.

Post # 15
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Private home

We’re dinner and a gift folks as well – If my husband thought ahead enough to plan a spa date as well??? Extra awesome points and it DEFINITELY counts as a gift (plus, the flowers!)

Post # 16
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I value experiences more than a gift, and I also tend to get a little cranky when he spends too much on me for holidays because we have other stuff to be spending money on. One of my absolute favorite “gifts” he got me was my first birthday with  him when he took me horseback riding, to my favorite (not expensive) restaurant, and bought me a cheesecake as my birthday cake (even though he doesn’t like it!). It meant so much to me because I had mentioned to him before that I really value the thought and experiences more than just expensive stuff, and it felt like he was really willing to go outside his comfort zone to make me happy. 

Now, I would say usually if we JUST do dinner he’ll get me a gift. But if it was dinner + spa that says gift to me. 

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