Post # 76
I normally do $200 cash from DH and I. Factors that can change this for me:
– How close I am to the couple
– How much I’ve spent to travel to the wedding
– Sometimes when we feel like the couple spent a lot on us as guests we give a bit more
– This number has gotten higher as I’ve gotten older. When we were in our early 20s we gave $100-150. Now that we’re in our early 30s we feel comfortable with $200 and sometimes go to $250.
I always give cash because that’s just what I think most people appreciate and because that’s what was traditional in my family growing up. When I was a bit younger I felt a little weird about giving cash so we would give a gift card to somewhere that we thought the couple would use (ex. to Home Depot for the couple who just bought a fixer-upper), but I eventually got over that and just wrote a check.
– I do look at my gift for the wedding as a rough “cover my plate” estimate. And I think that we are paying the appropriate amount based on the style of most of the weddings we go to.
If I go to the shower I buy a gift from the registry. The shower gift spend depends a lot more on how close I am to the person, but for most friends I’d spend about $60.
Post # 77
Yeah, apparently I’m cheap! Most of the time, it’s an even $100. It might be more if its’ someone I’m very close to, but generally $100. I’m Chinese so if it’s a weddding for people on that side of the family it’s always cash. If it’s not, then I’ll buy of the registry, which is usually just because I like perusing registries.
By my accounting the only people who gave MORE than around $100 at our own wedding were our parents’ friends, who are older with more discretionary income, and one close friend who happens to be loaded. But $100 seems to be more or less the norm in our circle.
Post # 78
Generally we give about $200 – $250 if we aren’t close to the couple. About $500 for close relatives since that’s what we received from many family members at our wedding.
Post # 79
Fiance and I are in our late twenties, and we give $200. Usually enough to cover each of our plates. 🙂 We’re in upstate NY.
Post # 80
This thread has been mind blowing to me! I’m 21 and have only attended one wedding since becoming an adult. We were very newly on our own at the time and struggling financially so we gifted them something that was maybe $30 in value. I had no idea people spent so much on weddings. Call us cheap but we gifted what we could afford at the time. I am now planning my own elopement and reception which has changed my perspective a bit. (I used to be clueless as to how much weddings cost.) But I believe no one should go broke for a wedding. Not the guests or the bride and groom.
Post # 81
I am 51 and married and would not give less than $150, more for relatives or other circumstances that I think warrant more (destination wedding in NOLA we gave $250, for example). We gave $400 to my brother and SIL when they got married. As far as our income, we are middle class but not upper or lower middle class. I am Italian American and my relatives generally give $150 – $250 per couple.
When I was in my 20’s, I used to only give $50 and looking back I wish that I would have given more but that is in the past.
Post # 82
We usually give around $100, either in cash or as a gift. Usually I would say cash, as that’s in my opinion what most people can make the best use of, unless I’m very close with someone and have a good idea of something they’d really want. For my best friend, I got her a Jessie Kuruc painting of her wedding set, as I knew it would be something she would treasure for many years and no one else in her family/friend group would think to get something similar.
I know $100 isn’t as much as many people give but as a couple in our 20s with student debt and starting out our own lives and trying to save for our own wedding, it’s what we feel we can comfortably afford. When we’re older or have more disposable income, I’m sure we’ll gift more 🙂
Post # 83
Lord let the zombie threads die. Closing this now.