How much do you put up with at work?

posted 6 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
1525 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - City, State

Okay, your boss doesn’t want you to work in a hostile environment and then does nothing to change the environment? No, your boss can’t change who they are but they can inform them that their remarks are inappropriate. Sometimes you have to put on your big girl panties and not be a sarcastic asshole to your coworkers. It’s not that hard, it’s a part of literally any job anywhere.

I don’t think you’re being overly sensitive at all. If you can’t go directly to HR to try to resolve this, I would give my two weeks and count my lucky stars I was getting out. You don’t need this job, so there’s no reason to continue suffering there.

Post # 3
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

 “I don’t want you working in a hostile environment but I can’t change their personalities. This is who they are. They’re just sarcastic smartasses. Sometimes you just have to put on your big girl panties and move on.”


Um, what?  That would rub me the wrong way.  Without knowing what kind of responses these nasty co-workers are saying, if it’s borderline bullying, I’d suggest you go to Human Resources and file a complaint.

And then look for a new job.  I’m sorry you’re dealing with this 😢

Post # 4
749 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

IMO, go remote until you find a better job. 

Post # 5
292 posts
Helper bee

I agree with the above, this should be reported to HR and once that is done, I would quit. If you have an exit interview, tell them you left due to the environment. I worked with that for over a year and I’m still recovering mentally. It’s not worth it to stay. 

Post # 6
6358 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

If your boss is constantly accusing you of doing wrong it to your face, I can guarantee she’s doing it behind your back too. Probably these coworkers have heard a lot from her, probably more than they ought to have heard, and it’s impacted their perspective of you. Hence why they think you should’ve been fired long ago and why they think it’s OK to be jerks is well. After all, even the coworkers who noticed aren’t calling them out. This isnt just them, it’s your boss top. I’d take it a step higher if I were you, or I would leave the job. No one needs to have that much disrespect poured down on them daily.  It’s draining and demoralizing. 

Post # 7
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015 - City, State

So sorry you’re going through this. It really sucks having to deal with other people’s BS.

I was in the same exact position as you until last week. My boss was stressing out like crazy and kept blaming me for “lost” items, or things I supposedly didn’t do (he didn’t even bother to check the server before blaming me). He was always so passive agressive to me when I had questions, it got to the point where he gave me attitude in front of all my co-workers (open space office). So last week when I asked him a question and he responded like a two year old, I shut his office door and told him sternly, that I had an issue with the way he was speaking to me, and he had a problem with my work, that we should sit down and talk about it. 

He did a complete 180. Needless to say, I’m currently exploring my options.

Post # 8
303 posts
Helper bee

skunktastic :  That’s a really great point. I find it hard to believe your boss can’t stop their hostile behaviour in emails. They obviously have the impression that they can get away with it, and they are. I don’t think your boss is very far removed from all this bad behavior.

Post # 11
1038 posts
Bumble bee

If you don’t have an HR department and you believe that you are experiencing a hostile work environment (which may be related to your medical condition and/or the fact that you had to take leave/work remotely), you could always file a Charge of Discrimination at the EEOC. By acknowledging the hostile work environment and then doing nothing about it (telling you to put on your “big girl panties”), your employer is essentially validating or condoning their behavior. That certainly would get your employer’s attention. But, obviously, it would put you in an even more uncomfortable position. However, it could give you some leverage to negotiate working remotely or a severance or some other solution to get you out of an unacceptable work environment. 

Post # 12
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’d leave. I was in a bad situation once, and finally decided that my pride and self esteem was NOT for sale, and quit to find a much better job. For most of us, it’s just a paycheck at the end of the day as we aren’t saving lives, not worth having a shitty work environment. 

Post # 13
1368 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve always felt the best way to deal with bullies is to confront them head-on. Most of them are cowards and will go in search of an easier target once confronted. Next time someone tries to bully you, pull them aside privately and ask them directly what the problem is.

Post # 14
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Life’s too short to deal with daily bullshit like that, I’d walk and not think twice about it!

Post # 15
1747 posts
Bumble bee

There are 50+ employees and no HR department? I think I know why your boss handles everything herself. Sounds like horrible moral all around and a lawsuit waiting to happen. 

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