- 6 months ago
- Wedding: July 2018
Coming here for some outside opinions/advice on what may be a slightly hostile/toxic work environment. Some things I am currently dealing with:
1. My boss accusing me of not doing work I have clearly done. Yes, I’m a human and make mistakes sometimes, but I personally don’t feel like I should be made to feel like an incompetent idiot who isn’t doing her job at all because of this.
2. Nasty co-workers. I have suffered on and off with anxiety and depression my whole life. A couple years ago, I pretty much hit rock bottom and at the suggestion of my therapist, I began working remotely. Luckily I have a job I can do from anywhere and my boss was pretty understanding and patient during this. Eventually I worked my way back to my regular, full time in-office schedule but, when I got back, I was surprised that a couple of the staff members I had always gotten along with and liked were suddenly giving me the cold shoulder. I would speak to them and they would either outright ignore me or give me little more than a grunt in response. They would even completely avoid eye contact in the hallways if I would go to smile, wave, or speak to them. I also learned that one of them told my boss she felt I “should have been fired a long time ago.” Today, we’ve accelerated to nasty remarks to any emails I send out. And, they’re not just small critiques or “Hey, you missed this FYI!”, I’m talking sometimes downright smartass responses not just to me, but in response to me sent out to the entire office (50+ people) so they all can see.
The other day, after the latest smartass email escapade, I got a reply just to me from a coworker that just said “Oh man!” So, I’m not the only one who is noticing these things. I also had my husband objectively read a few of the emails without telling him anything. His opinion was that it seemed like these inividuals were just being assholes and trying to gang up on me.
I’ve pretty much held my tongue for a long time because I convinced myself that maybe I was being overly sensitive. Offices are filled with many personalities and sometimes you just have to let it roll off your back. But, I would be lying if I said it hasn’t been taking a toll on my wellbeing lately. I’m miserable most mornings and dread going into the office because I feel unwelcome. I have spoken to my boss about it and the most upsetting part of this is that I was basically told “I don’t want you working in a hostile environment but I can’t change their personalities. This is who they are. They’re just sarcastic smartasses. Sometimes you just have to put on your big girl panties and move on.”
I understand she can’t change their personalities, but I’m not so sure I want to work for someone who doesn’t even seem to care that her employees (who are in their 50s!) are acting like teenage jerks. Maybe she thinks I’m being overly sensitive, but I don’t think it’s too much to ask that I be treated with the respect that I feel I always try hard to treat others with.
I don’t know, Bees. I feel like I’m reaching my breaking point. I kept the job for this long because I was single and had to support myself – I had no choice. Now that I’m married and my husband can easily support us on his salary alone, I feel incredibly lucky to be able to feel like I don’t have to put up with bullshit like this anymore. My husband says he supports me in whatever I choose to do – be that quit entirely and find something else, or move to an entirely remote role with the same employer.
What would you guys do? Have you experienced these things before? Should I just get over it? How much are you willing to put up with at work?
ETA: I work for a small company with no HR department, so reporting people really isn’t an option unfortunately. There’s only my boss.