Post # 1
My Father-In-Law was visiting this weekend, and there was a little bit of awkwardness.. I was 6 DPO, and avoiding alcohol at the moment, so I declined when he offered me some whiskey. DH jumps in with, “SHE MIGHT BE PREGNANT!” and I tried to backpedal saying it was just a precaution, I’m not pregnant yet, etc. etc… but then later in the evening he’s asking me questions like when did we have sex, and do I have morning sickness yet. *facepalm* He’s definitely not coming from I bad place, but I’m kinda reserved and felt more than a little uncomfortable, which Father-In-Law picked up on apparently, since the next morning he apologized to DH if he made me uncomfortable. He told DH that my SIL was totally comfortable talking to him about their TTC journey, gave him a blow-by-blow basically…. which then makes ME feel bad about it, like am I crazy rude for being uncomfortable and not really wanting to talk about the TTC stuff with him?!? The tone I was getting was that I was kinda the “strange one” here since SIL is so chill…
So that leads to the topic question: how much do you guys talk to your in-laws about TTC? Is it prudish not to update them on the process?
Post # 2
Telling them when we had sex is a definite no-go for me and I’m pretty open.
Post # 3
Yeah…that’s great and all for your SIL but you’re not the SIL. You’re you and your DH is his son. I’m all for sex positivity and being open as long as every one is comfortable. You were not comfortable.
I would never discuss my sex life/TTC with my inlaws – not even my own parents. I’m no prude, I just consider our intimate life sacred.
I’d also would have a chat with DH and remind him why I’m uncomfortable about sharing details about both of your sex lives. Your guy seems excited, however he should not forget that you come first over a at the moment hypothetical child.
Post # 4
That’d be weird for me too. We did not tell anyone anythign about TTC. I honestly don’t feel the need to anounce to anyone when my husband and I would be having unprotected sex. …. and seeing as to how it’s been a 4 year journey, I’m sure glad no one knew to try to offer advice or anything when it didnt happen soon.
Post # 5
I don’t tell them anything. That’s none of their business. I don’t want any questions, even well intentioned ones
Post # 6
I like keeping my in laws in a need to know basis. They have some boundary issues, especially with this sort of thing.
I’d probably be pretty open with my parents though, nothing in detail, just “oh, we’re TTC so I’m avoiding alcohol”. They’re chill and would just be like “oh cool”
Post # 8
We don’t share any part of the ttc with either set of parents. I don’t want my parents knowing that we’re bding more than usual lol but also dont want to be asking questions when Im already feeling frustrated. We’ll involved them AFTER our bfp
Post # 9
We told them nothing.
All they knew is that it was coming. But we never said when we’d start. The only one that had more information about it was my SIL and because we told her we were going to start trying right after my birthday. To her surprise, we told her we were pregnant like 3 weeks later lol. But other than her, nobody knew a thing.
Our family and community are very “in your business all the time” and they are the type to give unwelcome advice. The last thing I needed is a 60 year old distant relative giving me sex advice. (SIL had a 4 year TTC journey and heard it all……🙄)
Post # 10
DH would be in so much trouble if he had done that. Can’t blame the Father-In-Law too much when DH opens the door to it.
We definitely had a talk before starting TTC about when we’ll tell anyone after a positive test. He’s said more than I’d like to people about when we’ll start trying, but he also said he didn’t even think we’d tell our parents until after the first trimester, which I could never do (terrible with secrets/surprises), but has since said he thinks we wait until after I see/confirm with a doctor. In the end I think it just depeds. If we’re visiting for the holidays and we’re newly pregnant we might tell them earlier just so we can do it in person.
Post # 11
We aren’t TTC yet but I honestly can’t even imagine telling them we are trying. We are very private people and both of our parents can be overbearing at times. I’m sure my husband will agree it will be better to tell them only when we actually are pregnant rather than having them in any way involved in the process of getting there.
Post # 12
We didn’t tell either of our parents anything about TTC. It was none of their business until we decided to announce a pregnancy.
Post # 13
We didn’t tell either sets of parents anything. DH especially would have been weirded out with his parents knowing anything. You are not strange for feeling uncomfortable talking about that stuff.
Post # 14
The whole info Father-In-Law got about our TTC was when we were ready to share the positive news lol
If I were you, I would be having a heart to heart with your DH about keeping details to himself! I’m sure he’s just super excited but its a great time to start practicing discretion because when you are expecting, there are million other medical things that you’ll probably want to keep between you and your DH.
You are not at all “weird” for not oversharing like your SIL. Your Father-In-Law should be ashamed for even suggesting that. It is NONE of their business whatsoever. His sense of entitlement would be a huge red flag to me.
Post # 15
We didn’t tell our parents anything. One of our SILs knew though.