(Closed) How much do you tell in-laws about TTC process?

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
2020 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Telling them when we had sex is a definite no-go for me and I’m pretty open.

Post # 3
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Yeah…that’s great and all for your SIL but you’re not the SIL. You’re you and your DH is his son. I’m all for sex positivity and being open as long as every one is comfortable. You were not comfortable.

I would never discuss my sex life/TTC with my inlaws – not even my own parents. I’m no prude, I just consider our intimate life sacred.

I’d also would have a chat with DH and remind him why I’m uncomfortable about sharing details about both of your sex lives. Your guy seems excited, however he should not forget that you come first over a at the moment hypothetical child.

Post # 4
Member
15397 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

That’d be weird for me too.  We did not tell anyone anythign about TTC.  I honestly don’t feel the need to anounce to anyone when my husband and I would be having unprotected sex.  …. and seeing as to how it’s been a 4 year journey, I’m sure glad no one knew to try to offer advice or anything when it didnt happen soon.

Post # 5
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t tell them anything. That’s none of their business. I don’t want any questions, even well intentioned ones

Post # 6
Member
9387 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

I like keeping my in laws in a need to know basis.  They have some boundary issues, especially with this sort of thing.

I’d probably be pretty open with my parents though, nothing in detail, just “oh, we’re TTC so I’m avoiding alcohol”.  They’re chill and would just be like “oh cool”

Post # 7
Member
4251 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

ummm, nothing.  lol

Post # 8
Member
1600 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

We don’t share any part of the ttc with either set of parents. I don’t want my parents knowing that we’re bding more than usual lol but also dont want to be asking questions when Im already feeling frustrated. We’ll involved them AFTER our bfp

Post # 9
Member
2329 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

We told them nothing.

All they knew is that it was coming. But we never said when we’d start. The only one that had more information about it was my SIL and because we told her we were going to start trying right after my birthday. To her surprise, we told her we were pregnant like 3 weeks later lol. But other than her, nobody knew a thing. 

Our family and community are very “in your business all the time” and they are the type to give unwelcome advice. The last thing I needed is a 60 year old distant relative giving me sex advice. (SIL had a 4 year TTC journey and heard it all……🙄)

 

Post # 10
Member
1178 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
epon10642 :  DH would be in so much trouble if he had done that. Can’t blame the Father-In-Law too much when DH opens the door to it.

We definitely had a talk before starting TTC about when we’ll tell anyone after a positive test. He’s said more than I’d like to people about when we’ll start trying, but he also said he didn’t even think we’d tell our parents until after the first trimester, which I could never do (terrible with secrets/surprises), but has since said he thinks we wait until after I see/confirm with a doctor. In the end I think it just depeds. If we’re visiting for the holidays and we’re newly pregnant we might tell them earlier just so we can do it in person.

Post # 11
Member
10362 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

We aren’t TTC yet but I honestly can’t even imagine telling them we are trying. We are very private people and both of our parents can be overbearing at times. I’m sure my husband will agree it will be better to tell them only when we actually are pregnant rather than having them in any way involved in the process of getting there. 

Post # 12
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee

We didn’t tell either of our parents anything about TTC. It was none of their business until we decided to announce a pregnancy.

Post # 13
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee

We didn’t tell either sets of parents anything. DH especially would have been weirded out with his parents knowing anything. You are not strange for feeling uncomfortable talking about that stuff. 

 

Post # 14
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee

 

The whole info Father-In-Law got about our TTC was when we were ready to share the positive news lol

If I were you, I would be having a heart to heart with your DH about keeping details to himself! I’m sure he’s just super excited but its a great time to start practicing discretion because when you are expecting, there are million other medical things that you’ll probably want to keep between you and your DH.

You are not at all “weird” for not oversharing like your SIL. Your Father-In-Law should be ashamed for even suggesting that. It is NONE of their business whatsoever. His sense of entitlement would be a huge red flag to me.

Post # 15
Member
2133 posts
Buzzing bee

We didn’t tell our parents anything. One of our SILs knew though. 

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