- 3 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
We actually never told anyone we were TTC.
We actually never told anyone we were TTC.
We tried for a full two years, including fertility treatments, and only told our family we were TTC when we were about to move onto IVF. Even at that point, no one asked us anything specific about anything. Only listened to whatever we were willing to share. I would have been suupppperrr uncomfortable with those questions and personally would have been really mad at my husband for making that comment to his father in the first place. Had you two previously discussed that it was alright to share with other people that you were TTC? We always felt that telling people we were trying would put too much pressure on us. I’m so glad we didn’t share initially, because it would have made things much harder for us.
I would feel so awkward if that happened to me! We aren’t telling either sides anything. I told my Mom it would be happening in the near future, but that’s about it. When I’m pregnant then everyone will find out.
We’ll be TTC next year and won’t be telling anyone about it. When we announce I’m pregnant, that’s the first thing anyone will know anything. I’m really close my mom and I won’t even tell her when we TTC.
We will not be telling in-laws, parents, or anyone, anything. I think you just need to sit down with Darling Husband and explain how it made you feel, and your wishes to keep TTC things private should absolutely be respected.
I wouldn’t tell them a damn thing until 12 weeks (or later) — but I have a challenging relationship with my inlaws.
If they didn’t know you were TTC, they wouldn’t be asking, which is why I never felt the need to tell anyone we were having unprotected sex. If we had had trouble and went for treatements, then I probably would have shared that with my mum, but otherwise, I just felt uncomfortable announcing that we would be BDing to other people. I didn’t think anyone needed to know until we were actually pregnant.
Father-In-Law, DH’s Godmother, Brother-In-Law and SIL (who are the closest to us)were aware that we were TTC but didn’t know the dirty details…the rest of DH’s family knew that we WANTED kids, but were unsure of our timeline.
omg your FIL! at least he realized after he crossed the line – even if it came from a good place.
i’ve only mentioned to MIL/SIL that we “want a family soon”. DH’s family (and Darling Husband, for that matter) are really private, don’t ask questions, and don’t get excited about things. i have no clue how they’d respond if we said “we’re trying”
my mom and i are open books – she knows when i’m ovulating! which has made me a little weird because i’m like ew she knows when i’m having sex..haha. i told her we would want to keep TTC private and she was almost offended when i said we’d wait to tell people until the “safe” mark of 3 months, if god willing, we get pregnant. she said i better call her after peeing on the stick lol.
A huge THANK YOU to everyone for making me feel like I’m not insane!! So glad I’m not completely alone in not wanting to discuss TTC with everyone. I love my Father-In-Law, but we have polar opposite personalities, so it can be hard sometimes to understand each other.
And yes, a conversation with Darling Husband was had… DH told his dad several months ago that we were TTC (and no I’m not especially thrilled he told his parents, but I told Darling Husband at the time that if he really wants to talk to his parents about it, that’s his decision, but I’m NOT comfortable discussing it myself), but we haven’t talked anything about it with Father-In-Law since.
Father-In-Law told me he wanted us to tell him right away when I got pregnant, and kind of scoffed at the idea of waiting 12 weeks like some people do (and what I’m planning on doing! even with my own family!), but other than that we hadn’t talked about it since Darling Husband brought it up the other day. I think Father-In-Law thought that, well he brought it up so it’s fair game to talk about in detail now.
Darling Husband apologized to me and said that immediately after he brought it up, that he knew shouldn’t have said anything. I think he was just excited and blurted it out without thinking. And I was extremely surprised and caught off-guard because Darling Husband said he didn’t want to tell his parents I was actually pregnant until 12 weeks (and he said this unprompted, before I readily agreed). But now that everyone’s sufficiently embarrassed, it probably won’t happen again….
But anyway, now I’m getting some spotting. ugh. at least it’s DH’s job to disappoint Father-In-Law if/when he asks how things went.
I don’t even want to tell ILs when we plan to start! They’re well meaning, but who knows how long it could take? My Future Mother-In-Law would end up buying baby stuff before we even conceive knowing her lol.
But sex timing? Oh heck no.
My inlaws will know at 12 weeks when we tell them I’m pregnant
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