(Closed) How much do you weigh on the toast?

posted 9 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I am pretty jaded by wedding toasts… so much so I am banning them from our wedding reception. Mainly because- I am convinced my family is cursed. One of my grandmother’s guests at my parents wedding provided a ‘historical’ never-to-be-forgiven-horrible-unforgettable-wedding toast. Then when my parents renewed their vows, my mother’s uncle provided an impromptu never-to-be-forgiven-horrible toast as well. So I have effectively banned all toasts.

I have been to other weddings where the toasts were just eh. So instead of subjecting a speaker to have a prepared (or unprepared) toast, I am crossing my fingers that our reception ‘gets’ through it without a horrible toast- rather than an incredible toast. =o) My mom is shocked that I have ‘banned’ any toast… but I think we are all sighing a bit of relief from the pressure of what could arise. ;o)

Post # 4
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I am worried about the best man’s speech.  My Fiance was recently the best man in a wedding, and he spent days coming up with the perfect speech.  He made sure that it was sweet and sappy, and only had one inside joke.  He told me that he wanted the best man speech to be the same at our wedding… sweet and sappy, and basically no jokes.  I took this as a cue and talked my FI’s best man about the speech.  He said that he was going to wing it and it was going to be one inside joke after another, and he didn’t care if he was the only one who got them.  I tried to stress how much the speech means to my Fiance but I’m not sure if he got it.  I guess we’ll see how it goes in about 4 months…

Post # 5
Member
484 posts
Helper bee

At my engagement party, the toasts strayed a bit off topic. Basically people started talking about other random things like family friend having babies, and other people’s personal acheivements. I thought it was a bit weird that no one really talked about my Fiance and I. It definately factored in that the toasts took place after many people had too many drinks. Fortunately I was sober enough to pull together a quick 2 minute blurb on how excited I was to be marrying my Fiance, and how we were both lucky to have 2 familys now and feel so much love and support.

I have now set a ‘rule’ for the wedding. There are to be no ‘speeches’ which are typical in Australian culture. People can wish us well, tell one story or memory about us as a couple and be done with it. No one wants to hear about how I was a ballerina as a child and my Fiance played rugby for x amount of years. It’s a celebration of our relationship, not a roast of our lives to this point!

Post # 6
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Well, I was once a totally unprepared Maid/Matron of Honor, but I feel like I have a valid excuse. I had never been to a wedding reception that included toasts, so I had no idea I was supposed to give one. Clueless, right? I was sooo embarrassed!

Post # 7
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I actually kind of dislike toasts. I would rather just a quick thank you from my dad to the guests and be done with it. I find it kind of awkward when people get personal in public. I also don’t plan on having a wedding party. Maybe it is just because I hate public speaking and I don’t want to make anyone else have to go through it. idk.

Post # 8
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t mind toasts.  I think they can be pretty funny or poignant.  Unfortuantely you have no control over whether it will be a hot or a flop, or worse than a flop, (embarrassing or too revealing, or "You had a what….?")

I do think people can go too overboard with toasts though.  I think 1 good speech is great.  If another person has a particularly good reason for speaking fine.  But i think it becomes too boring , perhaps nauseating to make your guests sit through several minutes of toasts. Just my FYI.

Post # 9
Member
2022 posts
Buzzing bee

I feel bad for Mr. Peng too!

I always look forward to the toasts.  I have been to some weddings where they have been terrible and others where they have been great!  The best ones are the ones that are personal, sober, and not too long.

I gave one for my sister’s wedding when I was a Maid/Matron of Honor.  I was completely nervous about it for the whole week beforehand.  My now-FI helped me write it (over a few bottles of wine) then we revised and practiced and practiced.  I was pretty nervous beforehand and also just really emotional.  My sister is my Boyfriend or Best Friend and it was a really special day for me too.  I stayed very sober because I was nervous of being tipsy…but then a few minutes before my speech, I was like "oh no, I am dead sober" so chugged a glass of champagne to calm my nerves.  It went great and I am happy I gave one!

Post # 10
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I don’t mind walking down the aisle or standing in front of the alter with everyone watching me. But the idea of having someone make a speech about me or Fiance makes me SUPER self-conscious. I’d love to ban speeches, too!

Post # 11
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

By the way the title of this post threw me off a little. I thought it had something to do with weight loss rather than speeches. I’m a bit slow, I know. 😉

Post # 12
Member
484 posts
Helper bee

haha honey pants I did too! I was like, is this some new saying I don’t know about? Is a scale called ‘the Toast’ now?! too funny!

Post # 13
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’m keeping my fingers crossed on our toasts!  I know my daughter (MOH) will do a great one.  However, my son (dude of honor) has Asperger’s, and is very shy about public speaking.  It took a few months before he even agreed to do one.  His could be very good or very bad–and I suspect it will be quite short.

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