Post # 31
- Wedding: January 2016 - 1950s themed bar
My Fiance (age 30) loves a cold beer (or three!) when he gets home from work, and when we first started dating I told him I didn’t like the amount he was drinking. I think being open about it is a great thing – if you can have a conversation about alcohol and you can control yourself then it’s fine. My Fiance ebbs and flows; sometimes he’ll have nothing and other times he will have four or so. I’m ok with his drinking because it never gets out of control and he can stop any time. If I told him tomorrow that I wanted him to be sober for a month, I think he would do it, given the reasons why. It sounds like you guys have a great social lifestyle and the fact that he responded well when you talked to him about it is a good sign. You don’t seem to mind it, so as long as you remain open about it, I don’t see a problem.
Post # 32
Darling Husband drinks most days. It’s well above the recommended average… but then everyone I know drinks above the recommended average, pretty much! The recommendations are only 2 units a day, which is nothing. Even my deceased Grandma probably put away more than that when she had her nightly glass of sherry after dinner!
Every time we go to a new doctor’s, we have to fill out this alcohol assessment form which says things like “have you ever injured yourself whilst drinking?” “has it affected your work?” and “have friends and family ever expressed concern or told you to stop?”. Now, if you scored highly on those questions, I think you would genuinely have a problem! I don’t know anyone who would score highly on those criteria, I don’t think.
Here’s the list of criteria:
1. How often during the last year have you found that you were not able to stop drinking once you had started?
2. How often during the last year have you failed to do what was normally expected from you because of your drinking?
3. How often during the last year have you needed an alcoholic drink in the morning to get yourself going after a heavy drinking session?
4. How often during the last year have you had a feeling of guilt or remorse after drinking?
5. How often during the last year have you been unable to remember what happened the night before because you had been drinking?
6. Have you or somebody else been injured as a result of your drinking?
7. Has a relative or friend, doctor or other health worker been concerned about your drinking or suggested that you cut down?
Some of them are sort of trick questions… I mean, has anyone here ever twisted their ankle after a few drinks? Really? Never? Not even as a silly teenager wearing 5 inch heels? I bet most people have, and that qualifies as an injury whilst drinking. And has anyone ever had regrets after a night out drinking? Really? Not even ten years ago, when you did shots and woke up feeling like a bear had shat in your mouth? However, I do agree that if you’re experiencing these things regularly, and experiencing them as a grown adult with responsibilities, there’s a problem there.
Post # 33
olivejd: my fiancé is in the 4 beers a year camp. he is really dedicated to being an engineer and is almost done with school. He sweeeeare that drinking makes him dumber lol he promises it’s scientifically proven. every time I have the occasional drink and offer him one he’s always like “I have school tomorrow!” Idk everyone’s different. I also have a few friends that are really into the craft beer thing
Post # 34
My ex used to be like that. On weekends he’d have like 12 beers on a quiet night eek. My husband however used to drink but got sick of feeling crappy from alcohol and he gets a face rash from it so he just doesn’t drink at all anymore. He’ll occasionally have a tiny glass of cider or one spirit and coke but that’s only a couple of times a year. I think a lot of guys get into the habit of a few beers after work.
Post # 35
I was raised in an alcohol free home and we raised our family in an alcohol free home. The only exception would be an occasional work party, where guests would bring their favorite beverage and we’d provide tons of food. For a family gathering, in our home, no one would expect alcohol. If we attend a wedding now, hubby will take a sip of the champagne toast, and that’s about it. Years ago he would drink at weddings, but has been afflicted with an incurable muscle wasting disease, for 10 plus years, so balance is an issue.
Qualifier – we’re middle aged. We did host top-shelf open bars, at both our daughters’ weddings. I had a soft drink, at each one. Considering the one was ala carte, I know I paid $52.80, for a diet Roy Rodgers. UGH!
Post # 36
It is my understanding that at 4 drinks a day there are long term health risks. So I would be concerned (just like too much salt or cholesterol) and ask him to cut back.
If you are concerned about alcoholism, ask him to cut it out entirely for a set time period of at least 2 weeks. If this is a problem, there is cause for concern. (He will probably lose weight skipping beer.)
Post # 37
One with lunch, one with dinner and when golfing
Post # 38
We drink on the weekends and occasionally my FH has a beer or two after work. My dad used to drink a few rounds of scotch everyday for 20 years…that landed him in the hospital with lover problems. He was lucky, he had fatty liver disease which was reversible. 4 drinks a night is setting the stage for major health issues in the long run
Post # 39
My Fiance can drink with the best of them, especially on a night out, but on the average? MAYBE 1 beer a day, but that’s on a hot/long day with dinner. Not on the average night. Last night, on a Friday, none. Tonight we have a friends 30th, I’m sure he will have ~10. There’s a time and a place. If you are getting tipsy every day…I hate to say it, but that’s a problem.
Post # 40
Honestly, everyone is different as far as how much their body can handle alcohol wise but to me, drinking becomes a problem when it starts affecting your job or making a negative impact on your life.
Post # 41
My Fiance would on occassion have 1 or 2 beers at the weekend, I would go weeks without drinking but do enjoy the odd glass of wine every now and again.
My ex would go through a case of 24 beers a week if not more and it was a huge problem for me. There are a million other things I would rather be doing with my free time than sitting around drinking most evenings/wknds.
Post # 42
my man and I drink only occasionally, and its usually not more than 2 beers. 4 sounds like average amount to me, BUT as long as its every day.. I would be concerned about long term impact on his health. its not only about alcohol, beer is also liquid calories..wouldnt want my SO rockin’ a beer belly 🙂 but its just me..
Post # 43
I don’t think it matters how much he’s drinking, but if he’s dependent on having any drink after work, then it becomes a problem. You can have one beer or glass of wine every day, if you dependent on having that drink, that’s called an alcoholic.
See if he can stop for X amount of days and see what happens.
Post # 44
olivejd: We both have ~2 beers after work almost every night. I’m trying to cut back, but because of weight gain, not because of any alcohol issues. We rarely drink enough to get drunk. We both like craft beer. Neither of us drink hard alcohol or wine becuase we don’t like the taste.
Post # 45
None my Boyfriend or Best Friend hates it.