(Closed) How much does your man drink?

posted 4 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: How much does your SO drink?
    >1 drink everyday : (40 votes)
    28 %
    1 drink everyday : (17 votes)
    12 %
    only occasionally : (88 votes)
    61 %
  • Post # 46
    50 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    My Fiance drinks occasionally and only 1-2 drinks during these times. I wouldn’t be happy with him drinking 4 beers daily or with him being late to work, because of his drinking. Everything in moderation. 

    Post # 47
    3223 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    ABL12490:  But what’s the difference between ‘dependent’ and “harmless habit?” And why should someone stop a behaviour that is fine and normal because someone else demands they ‘prove’ something?

    I can see it if you’re going beyond recommended levels. But drinking one drink every day? Isn’t an addictive issue for most people. If I had someone demand I shouldn’t drink for two weeks to ‘prove’ to them that I don’t ‘need’ alcohol I would be pretty angry with that person for presuming that they had more autonomy over my body than I do.

    How would you feel if someone told you to stop eating meat for two weeks? Or as a vegetarian, TO eat meat for two weeks?


    OP: If alcohol is negatively affecting your life/relationships or health, you can and should talk about it with a health professional. Four drinks a day = 28 drinks a week = long term health damage and should be discussed with a professional. Even if it didn’t affect someone’s liver over time, it still means that if someone in their vicinity needs an unexpected ride to the hospital or something they couldn’t do it – not necessarily the safest state every day. But, if a person is getting everything done in their lives they need to and not immediately seeing those long term health consequences, it’s not necessarily something they see as problematic.

    If you feel like those four drinks are getting in the way of things you want to do with your partner, that’s a negative affect of the alcohol, and you should talk to him about it in a calm way. “FI, sometimes after work I’d love to do x together (bike ride, whatever). But once you’ve had a beer or two, I feel like I can’t ask that. Can we schedule some time for x together soon?”

    If your Fiance was cancelling plans you had that didn’t involve alcohol so he could drink, or bringing along a flask to inappropriate afterwork (or worktime) functions, I would be more worried. At this point, he should be aware of steps to take if he starts to see negative effects and be aware that people who drink more are more susceptible to tipping into problem drinking. He should also be aware of what the quantity of alcohol over a sustained time can do to his liver. But I wouldn’t make a big deal about this unless it keeps him from having his shit together.

    Post # 48
    2680 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    olivejd:  to me 4 drinks everyday is a tad much. I wouldn’t have a problem with someone drinking 1-2 glasses of wine or beer with dinner each day but 4 seems excessive. But, I certainly wouldn’t leap to conclusions that he has a drinking problem. It would bother me more so from a health perspective. I wouldn’t be thrilled if my fiancé was drinking 4 cans of red bull or 4 big sodas each day either. 

    Showing up late to work because you were drunk the night before would be a problem for me. If nothing else, it’s irresponsible. 

    Post # 49
    1770 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    My Darling Husband only drinks occasionally if we go out to dinner. We don’t keep beer in the house because he doesn’t drink it enough to bother. in general we probably have one or two drinks a month. If that.

    Post # 50
    1457 posts
    Bumble bee

    Oof lotta anti-drinkers on this thread. I’ll drink maybe 1-3ish glasses of wine or beer (prefer wine though) per day, and more on weekends. My dad is German though, and Europeans typically don’t demonize drinking or throw around “alcoholic” like peeps in the US do (just being honest here). I drink more than Fiance though. If it ever interfered with my relationship/work I’d cut back, but since it doesnt, I’m thankful he allows me the independence of making my own choices

    Post # 51
    2582 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2008 - County courthouse

    My husband doesn’t drink alcohol at all. It’s one of the things I like about him. I rarely drink too so it works for us.

    Post # 52
    3307 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I’m a non drinker (hate the taste) but my husband will have a glass of scotch or a beer 1-2 times a week. 4 drinks per day seems a bit excessive to me, and I’d definitely be concerned if he escalates from there.

    Post # 53
    2543 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    You should have an option for never and for very rarely. I wouldn’t say my husband drinks occasionally because it’s more like once a year, or almost never. My dad never drank alcohol because before I was born he was an alcoholic. Anyway, I think four craft beers would be more than I would prefer my husband to drink every day. That’s like drinking a six pack or more of cheap beer.

    I don’t know though. I know a lot of people who drink that much daily. I wouldn’t say they have any problems functioning as adults, but it’s just not the way I would prefer to live.

    Post # 54
    2331 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    We have a house full of all sorts of alcohol, cases and cases of spirits in the garage! My husband is in the Liquor business. 

    I have never seen him drunk and if he does drink, it’ll be once in a Blue Moon, and he’ll have 1 beer. 

    I hardly drink as well. If we go out, then yeah I’ll drink a little, but not ebough to hug the toilet all night. 

    If it concerns you, then talk to him. But 4 beers a day is a bit much

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