(Closed) How much have your BMs helped?

posted 12 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: How often do your bridesmaids offer their help?

    They never have.

    They say that they will help, but I don't think they will ever actually do anything.

    They have helped several times.

    My BMs rock and have helped me every step of the way.

  • Post # 17
    1363 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    @beffielou that is exactly how I feel!  I was just thinking last night about how I always mean it when I volunteer to help others, and I’m going to try to keep that in mind when I start to crack.

    My sister/MOH and her husband/graphic designer husband are doing my invites, so all that’s left for that is to stuff and address, so I don’t think I need/can ask for help on that.  (Especially since we’re printing our envelopes!)

    Post # 18
    195 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    Two of my bridesmaids live near me, and the other three live in other states. One of them has come with me to venue visits, but the others haven’t really done anything…I had to bother them repeatedly just to get their addresses so I can send the STDs out. I’m kind of disappointed.

    Post # 19
    135 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    Its said to say but I am a very independant bride and I feel weird asking for help. So here and there I ask my girls but other than that its me and the Mr.

    Post # 20
    5398 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Mine all live nearby, but they didn’t to anything for me.  I think it has a lot to do with the fact that they’ve never been BMs before, so maybe didn’t know what they should have done. 

    Post # 21
    383 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I am 5 months from my wedding and none of my BMs have done anything. My Maid/Matron of Honor is constantly asking if I need her for anything and I always decline help because, 1) I don’t know what I would task her with, and 2) I feel I need to be in control of everything regarding the wedding and don’t feel I can trust anyone else with anything. Two of my BMs live out of state (Oregon and Arizona while I am in WI) so I don’t expect much of them; 1 of them has offered help numerous times since she was just married last August, but I don’t know much of what she could do living so far.

    The Bridesmaid or Best Man that lives in Oregon definitely won’t be able to make my Bridal Shower but is likely coming back for my Bach party; my Bridesmaid or Best Man in Arizona is likely coming for the Bridal Shower but not the Bach party. I don’t expect them to attend either of these events considering but they have offered to which I do appreciate.

    One of my BMs hasn’t paid me for her dress yet (I bought them all at once from J. Crew). She is who I am most worried about as she just doesn’t get the urgency in these things. My Maid/Matron of Honor and other Bridesmaid or Best Man that lives near here are starting to plan my Bridal Shower and are doing it mostly by themselves as she sometimes comes off as pessimistic. Unfortunately, she does not get along with either of the 2 BMs that are planning the Shower – all three of them used to be very close with the other but the 1 Bridesmaid or Best Man that hasn’t paid me, like I said, has a bad attitude/can be snotty and doesn’t hide when she doesn’t like people so the other 2 have fallen out of friendship with her within the past 3-4 years. She has always been a very, very good friend to me and I can look past her sour attitude at times as I can appreciate her honesty – plus we have just been through much more together. But trying to get her to move on things will be my only gripe… (I think!) She has already commented about the price of the dresses (saying it was wayy too much – they were $130) so I think I might just bite my lip and buy shoes for her since I know she doesn’t have a solid income coming in right now (she is attending grad school and just waitressing).

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