Post # 1
75% of our wedding has been planned and I put 100% of me into every ounce of the planning, fiance on the other hand about 30%. The majority of his is financially.(not total cost, we have paid for this together) but his attention to the whole matter. I have read some post where bees feel as though their FI’s have too much to say about the planning and others mention that their FI’s have no input AT ALL.
I have picked the venues, colors, caterer, dj, photographer, bakery, flowers, invitations, honeymoon, favors, centerpieces, and linens. He has simply agreed with everything.
He goes to all the craft stores with me with no hesitation but as soon as we return home he jumps on his Xbox and I go to the “crafting” room. He signs all the checks with no hesitation. Fiance has stated that he just wants me to be happy and he will be there. He just has no interest in wedding planning and it doesnt bother me at all. Are any of you bees in the same boat? Does it bother any of you that your Fiance doesn’t help with the actual planning?
Post # 3
I have three people planning my wedding: my mom, Fiance and me. I think so far it’s been split up evenly, although I must say FH has gone above and beyond anything I’d ever ask him to do. He has been invovled in each and every planning step and has come up with some of the major ideas. I love it! I am in school at the moment and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate his help.
I think if I had an extended family or if I had help at all from his, I wouldn’t mind so much if he chose not to help. But the fact being it’s only the three of us, his help is priceless!
Post # 4
Fiance went with me to choose venues, photographer, and caterer so far. I was the one who made the suggestions though. He seems to hate wedding planning, until I actually drag him along somewhere then he gets more excited than me! I’m in charge of all the DIY stuff but it’s fine with me. Fiance works a lot so I know he doesn’t have much time. I’m good with how things have worked so far, I like planning since I’m organized and he’s… not. At all.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)
My Fiance has been super involved, which I totally appreciate! I wanted to elope originally, and he really wanted a wedding and wanted to be apart of the planning. It’s worked out nicely because he does a lot of the nitty gritty work (like calling tons of vendors or researching certain things) that I kind of hate. I wouldn’t say it’s a 50/50 split, but it’s pretty close, and I wouldn’t have it any other way!
Post # 6
I’m in the EXACT same situation!! Haha I ask him his opinion and he says “I just want you to be happy” and then later he’ll say “how much”
I sometimes wish he cared more but I don’t know which would be more annoying. Try to pry an opinion out of him or having him not agree with everything I’ve been wanting.
Post # 7
he hasn’t planned anything but he has gone with me to every meeting and has been as involved as he can.
Post # 8
I have to say at first I felt that Fi didnt help at all but now I have to say that it is 50/50. We work together on everything!
I am very greatful for that!
Post # 9
Fiance and I always talk about the price and vendor before signing but the research behind it is all me. He’s accompanied me to a few appointments. It would be nice if he took full reign on certain things but it’s just not his cup of tea..
Post # 10
My Fiance and I just had a “chat” about this….he is super busy with his new career and I respect that, but as the earlier bride, I have poured 200% of myself into this and have planned every inch of our special day to truly reflect “us” as a couple. He has offered his help lately, but its hard to assign tasks when someone isnt familiar with the other details and themes. He did make our video though, I think the stress is just getting to me. Cant deny I’m looking forward to life settling down after the wedding 🙂
Post # 11
Obviously weddings are for girls, so no guy should ever have to help with any of it. Duh. Now go fetch me a beer.
I’ve been excited with all of the planning so far and want to try to help just as much as my Fiance. I might not be as good at the actual making of a lot of our DIY stuff (paper flowers look gorgeous but are hard to make and she’s had a lot of practice with them and is really good, while I’m clumsy and get frustrated easily), but as for the ideas, planning, coordiantion, calls, and meetings, I want to and try to be an equal partner in all of it. It’s our wedding, afterall, not just hers.
Also, I wonder if a lot of guys realize that a cure for having an overly “girly” wedding is to actually be involved and have ideas and look for ways to make the thing resemble both of you. Then again, I have an Fiance who looks at it like one would the planning of a giant party, and not the most important event in her life that she’s been dreaming about since she was old enough to figure out what a wedding was.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Post # 12
@scottsouth – want to talk to my fiance for me!? I wish he had the same attitude. My Fiance never has the energy for it, gets overwhelmed super easily, and just says, “you decide, you’re better at this”. He’ll help if I give him a discrete task but otherwise, not so much. He has been helping me a lot around the house though so that I have more time for wedding stuff…
Post # 13
From the moment I got the ring on my finger I have been in planning mode. First of all let me say this is my second wedding so I am doing a VERY small event – 21 guests in total. But there are still things that need to be done. Everything so far has been “honey, what do you think of this” and a return of ” You know I love what you love”. So I started to get upset. I want this to be OUR wedding not just MY wedding. He says he is trying really hard to form an opinion but ” Baby I really don’t see a difference between white roses and white hydrangeas, what ever you want is fine” So I am letting him off the hook. He now only has to make two decisions – He needs to buy a suit, luckily his oldest daughter is a buyer for Dillards department store. She has amazing taste. I know she will dress him well, and we need to find him a ring. Me – one store, one day, one hour – ring of my DREAMS!. Him – so far 6 stores, three weeks NO RING yet! Bless his pointed little head. He may end up with a nut around his finger —he sells industrial hardware for a living – nuts, bolts, screws … get your minds out of the gutters girls! I am not that upset ….yet!
Post # 14
For us this is the situation:
* He picked church and venue , and very happy for that.
* We agreed on theme and the colorscheme that we will probably be using. We are currently working on that one.
* He is arranging the alcohol and drinks with his friends
* He is arranging his outfit together with his best men as well as the outfit for my son. They are getting their stuff together doing a “guys” thing out of it. Sounds like fun though! 😀
* We chose our engagement rings and weddingbands together and we are paying for them together.
* He is choosing the first dance song on his request and he wants to have a speech on our wedding.
* We have designed the reception menu and drinks together
* We will be doing the seating charts together
* He is arranging the DJ and Bartender for free
* He will be arranging the transportation, RSVP’s and flight arrangements (make sure that everybody are on the same flight) for our faraway guests.
* Baking the cake is my thing
* Doing the bouquets and all the decors and invites/thankyou cards/programs/ is for me
* Arranging my and BM’s dresses is my thing
* Entrees and dessert will probably be my doing with help of someone.
* Arranging all the decor and stuffies is for me and bridesmaids
* We together arranged two photographers for our wedding that are our friends too.
The one and only thing he does NOT want to get involved in, is the dress. He almost gets pissed when I ask of his preference in a dress, because I am lost in the wedding dress jungle and totally confused! He wans to have that AHA moment, LOL.. he is just the sweetest. LOL ^_^
Post # 15
Basically no help. 🙁
And I’m the type that truly believes that this is OUR wedding and that it should represent the both of us, not just me and what I like. So I wish I could have more of his input…
BUT he does like to help and he has a good excuse- he’s on a worldwide tour that lasts for months at a time with a fairly well-known band, and before he left (at the very beginning of our planning) he was very involved with wedding-stuff. I miss him!
Post # 16
basically its been me and my mom planning it. mind you we just got engaged in feb and not getting married til next june, but i keep asking him questions (like about the favors – i gave him 2 options) and he told me 1 and kinda laughed at the other. thats fine. i haven’t really asked him anything, i’ve told him what the colors are, etc, and he just says “okay”. this is his second wedding, so i think he’s just gonna sit back and let me do all the work. which is totally fine, ’cause i’m OCD and anal and have dreamed of my wedding since i was a little girl, so i’m okay with planning it all. my parents are paying for it, so i feel like my mom is a great person to plan with, that way she can chime in and say “no this is too expensive” or “what a great idea” and there will be no surprise bills in the end.