(Closed) How Much Input Did Your BMs Have In Dresses?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
4145 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I asked mine their budget, then we went to the store. I wanted something in eggplant. Any style, designer, etc was cool with me. They had free reign to pick what worked best for them, as long as it was the same color. 

Shockingly, they all picked the same dress. And 2 out of 3 have worn it again. Weird. 

Post # 3
316 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: garden/backyard - July 9, 2016

I first let my maid of honor choose (the other two don’t care) but when it came in we both hated it.  So I went on line, picked out 3 dresses I like that were the right colour/hemline/etc and was surprised when they all picked the same one. They are in, they all fit and they all look great!  So I am one happy bride 🙂

Post # 4
8761 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
kma291:  mine had a ton of input. we went on an inspiration shopping trip and I told them a handful of ideas I had for color and that I really wanted long gowns. my Maid/Matron of Honor came out of the dressing room in one dress and said “omg this makes me feel like Beyonce” and I said “there it is! ladies find something that makes you feel as happy as she is in that dress right now!”  they were mismatched in various gold/champagne toned dresses with varying amount of sparkle and bling according to each girl’s style. they looked amazing and said that they all FELT really pretty at my wedding too (and my photos all show awesome geniuinely smiling bridesmaids so I was a happy bride!)

Post # 5
6810 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

I knew mine already liked the general style I was looking at.  Bought three choices for them to try, with them picking whatever they wanted of the three.  They chose the same one, which was fine with me. I paid, so finances weren’t a problem or I’d have taken that into consideration as well, though I’m so cheap I doubt it would have been too extreme.  Their dresses cost more than mine!

Post # 6
10227 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I asked my Maid/Matron of Honor for opinions but that was about it.

Post # 7
1024 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I picked out like 15 dresses that fit my requirements (sleeveless, black, v neck, full length), and they can pick from those, or they are more than welcome to find something that fits those requirements as long as they don’t mind me having veto power before they order.

Post # 8
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I asked them their budget… then gave them designer/fabric, and then I asked them to pick from three color families (pink, blue or green).  They all picked a teal color immediately, so that was easy, and then picked their own style.  I ended up ordering for them because I got a big discount ordering all at once, plus a lot of cash back from my credit card, which I passed back to them.  

All of this was done online, since not only do my BMs not really know each other, they also all live in different states.  It took a couple emails, but was not a drawn out process.  They are picking their own hairstyle and shoes as well, and have the option for pro hair/make up (I’m paying).

Post # 9
614 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I picked the color (Navy) they got free reign to choose whatever style and length they wanted. I wanted all 3 to look different and feel comfortable! They looked beautiful and I loved the end result!

Post # 10
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I randomly picked about 20 dresses and then sent them all an anonymous survey so they could provide their honest opinion without being swayed by anyone else. I also asked pointed questions like “what’s the maximum amount you want/can pay for a dress?”, “what’s the maximum amount you want/can pay for hair and/or makeup?”, etc. Also asked them about the types of gifts they preferred – learned A LOT!!

One, I had planned on gifting them all a pair of TOMS shoes (long dresses, so doesn’t really matter and I LOVE TOMS!), but found out one girl is adament that she wants to choose her own shoes. Also found out that two of the girls can only afford a dress if it’s less than $100. And finally, got an idea of who truly wants/needs hair and/or makeup – for example, I know that if I would have just offered to pay for hair/makeup that EVERY SINGLE one of them would have accepted (totally fine), but when asked if they had to pay for it, which (if any) services would they like to have access to, I found out that only one girl wants makeup and all but another one wants hair. 

On top of it, they LOVED the fact that they could weigh in without looking bad or made to feel less than a “team player” – and now expectations are set. 

I was most surprised by the “dress must be less than $100” – for me, I don’t think I’ve ever paid less than that for a wedding (either as a member of the bridal party OR as a guest), but I have to accept they are all in different financial situations. So to compromise, I’ve found an Etsy seller in NY who makes convertible (infinity) dresses for like $60 bucks…beautiful, can be worn a million different ways and definitely can be worn again…AND in their price range 🙂

Post # 11
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Mine have about 70-90% They were given a color (different one for each) and that’s all. The rest they get to choose. 

Post # 12
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

They have me their personal budgets and I went with the lowest amount of course (I have 8 bridesmaids so this was important). Then I chose a dress and let them chose between 3 different collar and sleeve types. So not that much input besides cost, but I chose something that’s flattering for all (they all love their dresses actually)

Post # 13
1325 posts
Bumble bee

“Choose something in this shade of green and I’ll buy it for you.”

(I’m in the UK, the polite thing is for the bride to pay for the dresses) 

Post # 14
36 posts
  • Wedding: January 2015

I let my bridesmaid pick out their dresses. Just asked that they picked out some navy, around the knee in length and had some type of sleeve. It was really important to me that they could wear the dress again, (since I have been traumatized by being a bridesmaid in several weddings and had to pay for an ugly dress I only wore once). Also, I paid for their dresses, but I only had two Bridesmaid or Best Man and their dresses were from Anthropologie and (not their wedding selection), so the cost wasnt anything crazy.


Post # 15
422 posts
Helper bee

Pretty much zero, which I know is not the norm nowadays. They’re all getting the exact same dress, though I’m making sure that they’re comfortable with the selection before making anything final. I’m asking for their budget and trying to stick to that number, but will pay the difference if I end up finding a dress that’s over that budget. I think it’s just so much easier that way, and all of my friends have already said they’d wear whatever I asked them to, which is nice.

  • This reply was modified 4 years ago by  freebird.

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